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Just sick of it all

nursedina001nnursedina001 Posts: 234
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:50 AM in Chronic Pain
Had to go to comp doctor yesterday for IME. I am TIRED of everyone asking me why I can't sit for 8 hours at a desk? "What do you do at home? Don't you sit all day? You should be able to do it for work"

I told him that I do the dishes, then I have to lay down, I fold the laundry, then I have to lay down, I dust, then I have ot lay down.

Then I burst out crying and told him that I am not some dirtbag that doesn;t want to work. I don;t care that my Ct scan says my fusion looks good, I AM IN PAIN. I only know how I feel, and I feel pain. I can not explain why. IT f*%(N hurts!

I am tired of people telling me that I should be pain free cuase after THREE back surgeries which entailed two fusions, two laminectomies, 2 foranomities, and a SCS implant, 6 screws, two rods, and 2 cages,,,THAT I AM IN PAIN.

My pain mgmt doc gives me pain meds and hes real nice, but he just doesn;t understand why or how my pain is happening. WTH??? How about the metal shop in my back? Do they not get it?

I'm so sick of this.


  • i hear ya

    im sorry they are not getting it

    us spineys understand, yep sitting all day, nope

    they should have some awareness of this, as sitting puts so much pressure on the lumbar

    hope you can work it out
    feel better
  • Nobody gets it... Why can't we work all day? If we're home don't we just lollygag around eating bon bon's anyway? Unbelievable... I hear your pain and I'm in total agreement-I'm sick of this $hit too!!!
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 10,040
    when you still have pain and you've been through almost all of the treatments your doctors have asked you to do.

    In the cold reality of things, many of us will never be pain free or even come close to having just little normal pain. There is only so much a Pain Management doctor or Physiatrist can do when it comes to managing pain levels. I've been there and after many many years, we moved on towards alternate treatments which have done wonders in helping me manage my pain.

    Yes, I still am on narcotic pain medications, probably will be for a loooonnng time, I have my Neurontin for nerve pain and Baclofen for muscle problems. But I also have a wide range of other activities that have been successful. What worked for me may not work for you or others, but things such as

    - Acupuncture
    - Osteopathic Doctors
    - Deep Tissue Massage Therapy
    - Aqua Therapy
    - Relaxation Techniques
    - etc

    You want to have a doctor that knows they are doing everything they can for you, but still you are in a lot of pain. Then they have to be willing to work with you to step outside the box.

    As far as work, sitting all day, I am surprised that the doctors are not aware of this. All of my many doctors or therapists are totally aware the desk jobs and sitting can be the worst thing for spinal patients.

    The way I look at this in the end

    - You change to accept the pain
    - You find a doctor that is willing to work with you

    And I know just accepting the pain isnt that easy
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • There are no easy answers, but my back surgeon told me that I had to change body positions often, and he is right. I can't sit, stand or do any one thing for any long period of time.

    It is going to be part of my life, and while things are getting better for me, I suspect I will always be in pain.

    Part of this process is like dealing with a death, in my opinion, the death of our image of ourselves, and with that is grieving- and all the Kubler-Ross stages that come with it, and hopefully acceptance and transformation.

    It comes in different ways for everyone.

    Be kind and gentle to yourself- and be aware that others are not going to understand- but you have the support of this group behind you. Having this group here is really helpful to me when I feel like I going through this alone. I have good days and I have bad days...

    I also have a great pain mgmt doctor, but he can only do so much.

    When I tell people my surgeon has "ordered me" to move around that seems to give it legitimacy..so you might want to try that.

    Sending support and caring-


  • Im not going to say i understand , because i know i hate it when people say they understand my pain and frustration. pain is a Edited . thats all that can be said about it . it brings you down , effects your personal and public life and you have an ongoing struggle and are expected to perform the same everyday .

    Then the meds fluctuate your mood from euphoria to dysphoria . Its war , its a Edited . Its something "WE" seem to all have to deal with and put on a S@!$ eating grin about it .

    i went from the hardworking in shape , drug free , active , financial contributing husband . To a pain medication taking , chronic pain , out of shape , debt racking home body . All due to an injury that seems and im constantly reminded doesn't seem "significant".

    Its a battle of temperament , acceptance and thresholds of multiple different subjects.

    good luck .

    Post edited to remove inappropriate language by Moderator haglandc
  • Actually sitting all day is BAD for everybody! I was a website programmer for 13 years and didn't do much else. I also used to sit on one foot a lot, which is even worse.

    Now my spine has painful kinks and I have limited range of motion.

    Our bodies were made to move!

  • I understand how you feel. I also feel some pain when I sit down because I had surgery on my back before and having another problem now.... Sometimes I wish these desk jobs doesn't require sitting down all day. It would be nice to have some kind of laying down mechanism to do work without the sitting down part. These people will never understand until they have what we have. My boss, for example, had the same procedure that I had so he understands what I'm talking about.
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,941
    My people don't understand me either...esp. the part where one day..while still in pain...I may be able to walk around and go shopping, but later that day I'm doubled over with pain from the exertion.
    One day of activity can knock me out for two.
    And, yeah...the computer...check out e-mail, or work on projects and must lay down periodically to try to calm down the screaming body pain.
    I'm practicing on asking for what I need, like.... to stay connected...occasional phone calls to let me know how others are doing. The need to stay connected is so overwhelming...connected to the normalcy of life... the life I no longer can participate in. Also, the distraction of hearing about what's up with others helps me...sometimes.
    My tendency is to minimize...so I'm practicing on being more honest, with my people.
    Heart attack, stroke, whatever...not only my people, but medical professionals , "You look great." and I'm dismissed, until lab results return.
    Oh, well, it is a process.
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • I work on a computer all day too. I try to go into the office now and then so they can 'see' how painful it for me to try and sit in a chair. I usually don't last more than 2 hrs and half of that is done standing or kneeling in front of my desk. By the time I leave I am limping terribly and have difficulty carrying my laptop bag as it feels like it weighs 100 lbs. They understand and have been great but every now and then there are 'mandatory' meetings like this week. It was only an hour but I paid for it for 2 days in additional pain. At home I lay down on the bed or couch with laptop on top of me. I can get up, move around, take meds, whatever I need and still get the work done. I have been told I should not be working on narcotics but I have no choice until I see the orthopedic surgeon in April. Do you have an option to work from home? I do software testing for a large IT company and though they'd prefer to have me in the office they do have a work-from-home option. It's that or I take short term disability and they don't want to lose me. I hope you can sort out your situation soon, it really sucks being in pain and its worse when the people around you just don't understand. ((hugs))
  • I'm sorry to hear about your IME. I had to go for one also and I posted about it also but the Orthopedic Surgeon who examined me approved my disability and also got government pension in Canada right away. I hope you get it also. One big swaying factor for them was all my tests including EMG sent in and also the fact that a Registered Nurse or LPN can't work while taking narcotics. I hope you get all this over with soon. It's a procedure that the insurance most insurance ask for although it causes a lot of pain to get through the physical testing. I hope you're approved and have no more testing but hope the Drs will help manage your pain. Take care. Charry

    My post about my IME http://www.spine-health.com/forum/health-insurance-issues/denied-work-pension-so-far-accepted-today
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Remember, what we do at home, is different then what we do at work.
    At home in an attempt to make ourselves more comfortable we need to take our meds. And then have a hard time doing the daily task at hand, due to the pain that is still there, and the foggy and loopy feeling we have mentally from the meds.

    Now try doing that at work, taking these meds, having the moodiness, and loopy feeling.
    We would not be able to perform our jobs at the standard that is expected by our employer.

    It is not in our best interest, or our employer's best interest for us to be at work.
    And it not for anyone's best interest for someone who is on these meds, to be out driving, to go back and forth to work.

    If it was someone in the IME's family, they would look upon this differently.

    I've dealt with IME's before, and know i will be sent to see one again, for my comp injury, so i understand exactly how you feel.
  • Thank you to everyone who responded. I know the pain is here, I've ven started to accept it lately and realized that me and it are going to be friends for life. I have started acupuncture and massage and I love it. I feel good for at least a day afterward.

    What posses me off is when Docs look at me like they don't understand why i can't sit at a desk all day. Im an RN but i was found a. Job doing payroll for a few weeks and i only made it three weeks. The first week i cried very day. The second week i cut down to four hours and the doc increased my pain meds. And the third week i was vomiting all over the place from the increase in pain meds. My boss actually told me I could not work, i was not safe. But these damn doctors i see for these exams look at me like I'm faking the screws and bolts in my back. They assume you are a dirtbag who just wants to sit home and eat Bon bons all day. I can do a lot of things, but i pay for them. I can drive my car but not a 3 hour drive. I can sit thru doc appt but I am ruined the next day.

    It seems to carry on to my personal life as well. People see me walk ok so them assume i AM ok. I love it when they say....my friend so and so had the same surgery and he was back at work 2 weeks alter doing construction. - no he didn't.

    Im just sick and depressed my it all. Workman's comp is eating me live and sucking out what i have left of myself. It's torture. I didn't ask for this. I was working. I told them my back hurt and i couldn't come in, they forced me to come in and now im ruined for life. Ugh.. I just want someone to believe me.
  • I believe you and understand... though I am fortunate to not have to work any longer (unfortunate?, however I look at it from day to day--it changes). I find myself apologizing quite a bit on my bad days because I feel so inferior and worthless on those days. I keep busy around the house too, but it's on my own schedule, the house stays clean, laundry stays done, etc.,

    Whenever I filed for disability I was told that the main reason that I was approved was because I would have had to call off of work often, probably causing me a hard time to hold down a job (I was on unemployment at the time), and employers would not find it acceptable that I would have a difficult time sticking to schedule, hours, etc.I was educated so, that wasn't the issue. There were other reasons of course, but that was a main one.

    You are fortunate that your employers understand your current situation in these tough times and that you can work from home. I think we all get frustrated sometimes, but if your own Drs don't understand your pain that can put you in a sad frame of mind. Honestly, if my Dr didn't understand.. I don't really know what I would do exactly, but I would probably be thinking about searching for one who did. The thing with that is, how do we know what the new Dr is going to think?

    I feel for you though, and I do understand.
  • Robin
    I don't work . I'm at home. No work. I get social security disability. That's the problem. Workman comp wants to send me back work. WTF? I cantbwork. I take enough meds o know out a horse, I can't worse. And pain is getting worse but no one seems to know why. It's frustrating. And rather try to figure outvwhy why pain is increasing, they just say " well it shouldn't be increasing, well it is! Ugh....

    So sick of this and falling into a depression fast.
  • I'm sad for you that DOCTORS don't understand why you can't sit all day. Of anyone, they should understand. I cannot sit all day. I work at a desk job. My company helped do an ergonomic evaluation and as a result I have a better chair, desk set up, etc.

    I can move my computer to either work sitting down OR standing up. I have to stand but because it's an office building, standing on carpeted concrete floor is also painful after a bit. But having the option to switch helps.

    We believe that you are in pain. Just remember that no one should judge you unless they've walked a mile in your shoes (or sat 8 hours with your back).

  • Sad to say but, thats what work comp does best.
    They keep bending people until they break you.
    I dont remember, but do you have a comp lawyer to stick up for you?

    Just hang in there and dont give in to them. I know it's easier said then done, but you need to show them you're not gonna let them get you to quit.

    People get hurt at work, and they attempt to make it look like it's something you wanted to happen.

    Best of luck to you.
  • Oh I see. The Drs probably know darn well that you hurt, but want you to cave in so that you will stop taking medication and go back to work. It probably isn't that they don't believe you, but like blazer said, they want to wear you down until you break.

    If this is the case it's important to focus on the positive, understand the situation for what it is, and try not to let it become the mainstay of what carries you through your days. I know you have to deal w/ them, but after you do just put them out of your mind and try to focus on other things. When they realize they cannot break you they will stop, just like a bully on the playground, but don't give them any negative emotions to feed on and be careful how you word things to them.

    I do think that they know you are in pain, and I think it's important that you think that way as well.
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