Well first i guess I should give some info 28 mother of 3 divorced once now living with boyfriend of 4 years. I have always had thoughts of suicide. I never knew that it was abnormal to have these thoughts. Yeah I was abused as a child mental physical sexual. Not by my parents but a family member non the less. No I never told anyone until this year. I started hearing voices, so I went an got some help been on cymbalta and some other antidepressant that I don't remember how to spell. Seem to work okay at first but I don't think depression is the only problem I get really angry over little stuff it's like I snap. Yes I have told the doctor about this. So they upped the dose. Still getting out of hand and still having really bad thoughts. I have scoliosis as well. I don't know the curve just that I now have a hump on my right shoulder. Saw a neurosurgeon who said i have spondylolthesis said i need surgery. Didn't stop smoking so he booted me, yeah I know dumb of me. Told my regular doctor and he sent me to a neurologist. He says I have no nerve damage and is sending me to pain management. Then today my boyfriend told me all I ever do is complain about being in pain, so he would rather leave for the night and not wake me up to tell me. So I am really tired of trying to get any help or support. Heck I don't even know why I am writing this.