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Ooops! - I couldn't feel more guilty at the moment.......

SueDSSueD Posts: 545
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:51 AM in Chronic Pain
You know all the past problems I've had with work and being told when I return to work I'd now have to work on the floor with babies and toddlers etc etc.

So there was an advert on the Internet recently for another job not that far away from me. I had nothing else to do, so I filled in the application form on-line and clicked the 'send' button. I then totally forgot about it. Then I get a letter yesterday saying I've been invited to attend an interview next Wednesday!!!

I have no hope of actually succeeding because I haven't used my skills since July (and if you don't use them, you lose them right?). But what if.......

Oh my goodness, I feel awful. After all the efforts my employers have gone to: giving me full pay to stay off work on 'disability leave' since October, buying expensive chairs and associated back-friendly equipment, being looked after by the company's occupational health doctor etc. etc. I'd feel such a heel if I was successful in the end. I'd never be able to look my manager in the face again!!!

The obvious answer would be not to go to the interview, but I couldn't do that (as I got an interview for the same job 2 years ago, but had to decline as I'd already accepted another job but was then made redundant after 9 months). Also, in my defence, I was never told my duties would ever include working on the floor for goodness sake. In fact, at my interview, I wasn't told LOTS of things, which if I'd known then what I know now, I wouldn't have taken the job in the first place and I think they got me under false pretences to start with (but that's another story).

Should I go to the interview, do my best and 'IF' I'm successful (and pigs might fly) then I'll cross that bridge if/when I come to it? I have'nt had to declare my sickness record on the application form, and there would be procedures to go through that could sway their decision in the end, but have any of you been in a similar situation -

2 x Microdiscectomy 2005 / PLIFusion 2-level 2010 / revision surgery 2011 / NEVRO Senza spinal cord stimulator implanted February 2013. I WILL NOT GIVE IN / UP !!


  • I think you need to really think about it Sue. First of all, how do you feel about what you are doing now? Sounds like they have been pretty good to you – so consider that, but are you physically capable of continuing? Also, keep in mind that as you said, you physical issues may prevent the other employer from hiring you, it is possible. Does it pay more? Is it closer to home, or further away? Would you enjoy the job more and would it be something you could handle? There is a lot to consider.
    Personally, if it paid better – I’d say go for it because realistically, we are all here to make a buck. Me personally, I work to live – not live to work. Whatever pays me the best and I know I can provide quality service – that is where this kid is gonna be. This comes from 31 years of experience and that has been my standard. We are all replaceable, contrary to what some of the bitches I work with think; so, your current employer can always find someone else if need be. Sounds like they have done the right thing for you while you have had issues, good for them, they should feel good about that. It is nothing that any other employer shouldn’t do Sue.
    SO - Do not let guilt stand in your way of a great job. Think about all your options and make a decision – then stick with it. (I generally pray about it and ask for guidance) but that’s just me. Best of luck to you whatever you decide!
  • I had to steal Marion's line! You do whatever will make you happiest. Absolutely, go to the interview at the least, then you can make a better informed decision. But just remember, your happiness is the key, because if you stay in a job that you're not happy in, it can make your pain worse. Good luck!!
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. You were disappointed by the circumstance of your current job after you were hired. What happens if the new place turns out to be not what you expected and then on top of that you have the guilt of leaving a place that really seemed to care about you? If it really, really is going to be a wonderful job for more pay, then go for it, but if you're leaving because your current job isn't a paradise, I'd think you're leaping from the frying pan into the fire. Let's face it. Work is WORK. Eventually, there is no such thing as the dream job. You've still gotta get up and go there every day.
    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • I say go for it, see what it is all about. If you don't do it, you may find yourself thinking what if? Not a place I ever want to be in. I don't do what if's. Go see what it is about, and then if they make a offer to you, cross that bridge when you get there. I personally think we need to always keep our eyes open for new opportunities in life. It is always hard to leave a comfort zone, but heck I would check it out.
  • SueD Hi; I agree with kelly and TamTam.

    Good luck, and it wont hurt to follow up, and then make your decision.
  • Sue,

    I too would go to the interview, otherwise you might "what if" yourself to death!! At least you will be informed as to whether jumping to another ship is the way to go. Also too, keep in mind your present job "had your back" during your recovery.

    More money doesn't always equal a more enjoyable job. I've left higher paying jobs for lower just based on how they treated people. Money is good, but it is not the "Holey Grail" as they say. Yeah, yeah, I know, some feel the money wins...I'm not one of those. :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • You've all helped me decide to at least go for the interview. If I get offered the job, then I'll worry about it some more, but you're right, if I don't go I'll always be wondering 'what if'.

    My employer hasn't been that good to me, if I'm honest. There have been many issues although on the face of it they seem to be supporting me (with obtaining chairs etc.) - it's been done reluctantly on their part. I also think my job may be on the line as part of the Council's cut-backs.

    I use British sign language (BSL), but since I started this job there hasn't been anyone who uses it at the same level, so my skills are dwindling. I'm currently being used as a BSL 'teacher' on a basic level, and a generic teaching assistant. This job would offer me the opportunity to use my skills daily - if they have students that use it as well. I know one of the manager's there uses it as her first language, so I'd need to act as an interpreter (which I haven't done for yonks and that scares me, ha! everything does these days as I've not got much confidence left).

    As I said before, I probably won't stand a chance 'cos of my limited BSL skills which will be evident at my interview, but I can only but try. I wouldn't be working with little children as it's in a college, so I'd be helping my back by not bending over all the time. Oh, and the money is better, so I might be able to work a few less hours!!

    I'll let you know how I get on, and thanks alot for all your help.
    2 x Microdiscectomy 2005 / PLIFusion 2-level 2010 / revision surgery 2011 / NEVRO Senza spinal cord stimulator implanted February 2013. I WILL NOT GIVE IN / UP !!
  • Confidence "young grasshopper!!!" Have confidence in yourself, and it will show in the interview. Glad to see you realized you would maybe "what if" yourself if you didn't do the interview.

    As to your present employer, I know for me, I was meaning that they kept paying you verses terminating you - which is what I thought they were gearing up to do with some of your posts reference your supervisor. I'll keep my fingers crossed that all goes well. :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • See how things go, what your options are, but do remeber that your current employer was good to you.

    I had a job that I absolutely loved, with every bit of my heart and soul. =(( I was devoted to my job, put in long, long hours to try to make our facility the best in the world. (I was salaried/paid for 40 hour, worked 50 plus) I put my job before my family's needs and before my need. I had not missed an unscheduled day of work for 17 years. When I told them I needed additional surgery, I was terminated. They no longer needed a RN in my position. :O

    So look for a job you love, but remember an employer who cares enough to accommodate your needs. It is always good to work for someone who appreciates you.
  • Is this position different in nature from your prior position (as in no toddler care)/
    "floorwork" or the same? If its different, and you think you can physically do it, by all means g to the interview, and if you do get the position, write your prior employer about all the good things (don't go into the "you never told me"..) but state that this was a position you physically could do...don't burn bridges. At the interview, I would ask for a complete job description. If there is nothing on it "physical" then you should feel OK signing that you are able to do the job. However, if there is even one small question of bending, lifting etc., you need to come out with your medical history (it will come out if the company has health benefits anyway).
    If its the exact same work, I wouldn't go for the interview.

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