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havent been here in a while

edited 06/11/2012 - 8:51 AM in Depression and Coping
Hi everyone , not been here in a while.Sitting here trying to work this morning and the pain just wont stop , trying to suck up the tears that are wanting to fall.I have had so many epidurals in the past 2 years more than anyone should , i would say 15 or more ..I have had so many side effects from them , thrush, bloating , my stomach hurts all the time but they have kept me sane . My last one was Jan of this year and I have decided no more.The last one is wearing off and I had forgotten how bad the pain is so I am falling back in depression mode. How much can we take?? Habitat for humanity is building me a house due to start this month and I have to put in so many hours but I dont know how I will get through.. I know I can always come here and you guys listen God bless you all


  • Carmela,

    Glad to see you back with us!! Habitat for Humanity, how awesome is that? You must be so happy over that. Congratulations!!

    Sorry to hear your shots are wearing off. They've never helped me, so put the stop on future ones. Does your doctors have a game plan for you? Please stick around for a while. Welcome back!! *HUGZ*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Hi the only plan my doctor has for me is to keep sticking me in the back with steroids! I dont know he has talked about a spinal cord stim but I dont know, I am trying not to beg for another epidural as my last has wore off but they are making me so sick , but help the leg pain.. So what do you do.Cant wait to get my house I know disability is in the future but I will fight till I can no longer go!
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,476
    ...your house! I'm sure that will be a great relief and comfort to you when you're all settled in.
    I've been on disability now for two years. It is still difficult...in my head...not having a purpose. Or, in my head, having to recreate purpose for my life.
    I pushed on for years in pain..then missing work.. feeling unreliable. But mostly, the working in pain took its toll. I couldn't concentrate..people were so annoying..I wanted to b!@#h slap everyone.
    Then the pain...I would work, but if I needed to communicate with others..I just talked through the tears. Focus on controlling pain and focus on other people...I couldn't do it.
    So, now trying to reinvent myself..some days easier than others. But quitting work? The healthiest decision I have ever made.
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • hi carmela,
    sorry to see you've come back and how much pain you are in .....those esi made me worse and i'm not doing anymore test with any needles...
    So happy about your house and i know with that you have to pitch in but help out those builders in other ways...bring them lunch or go and get supplies needed they will understand...so glad your getting a much deserved home...
    I haven't yet gotten ssi but I hope you know its best for you and your not a failure at all..its such a hard and sometimes not our decisions to make leaving our jobs...
    I keep busy with a lot of different online jobs...
    as you see i'm trying to help here more often...its seems so long since i posted...
    so making up for lost time..
    you are never alone....and I hope you enjoy your new home and new life ( of not working :)
    keep on posting
    neck,bone spurs pain started 04, back issues and fusion l4,l5 06~hardware removed.
    good few yrs. 09 pain sharp, numbness feet,legs, diagnosed fibro, neurop. legs.lung issues.
    daily goal do good thing for someone.
  • Its hard somedays just to get out of the bed and get ready after tossing and turning all night, I have my two little dogs that sleep with me and every time I move they check to make sure im ok. I think when I get my house I will at least know I have a place to call home and never have to move again and my payment will be alot less than paying rent, they are also making my bathroom handicap and putting in a oversized tub for hydro therapy and im like you some days I cry at work and just want to hit someone lol
  • Im not haveing anymore needles , sometimes I think they just make things worse and on top of all this crap I have a tummy ache every day found out I have h pylori, they put me on 2 weeks of strong meds which I have been to ill to take..Hope you get your ssi soon I know its hard to get sometimes I will try some day but not yet..no one understands us I know that for sure! It helps posting on here where there are so many like us..Gotta go for now and hope to here from you soon..
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