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Too young for this..

malditammaldita Posts: 9
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:51 AM in Depression and Coping
Hi everyone, I'm 21 and I'm feeling so hopeless about my situation.

I haven't worked since January 2011 due to back pain, and I had to drope out of my part-time University courses because I couldn't concentrate.

I haven't driven as well and I haven't been able to do stuff on my own.

My support system is my mother and my boyfriend..But at the same time, I don't want to bother them about my pain anymore. My mother has her own personal problems to deal with and I've been having problems with my boyfriend because the driving and waiting for appointments are hassles for him and I know I'm a burden to him.

I cry almost every week because I wake up with the pain everyday and I need 3-4 hours for it to go away before I start getting ready. It's depressing and I'm scared that this is JUST THE START.


  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,427
    ...and it is not a pleasant experience when your body starts taking over...making decisions of what you can and can't do..work or driving for example.
    Pain has caused my thinking to get a little out of whack. I think seeing a psychiatrist and /or therapist was the best thing I ever did.
    With them I have felt understood and given "tools" for trying to navigate through life, esp. with chronic pain.
    You are in a good place at this site, also....lots of support and info. Hopefully, something you read here can apply to your situation and give you guidance on how to talk with your pain management doc. He and the shrink are invaluable to me!
    Sometimes we may feel we are a burden, but often times the people in our life need time to adjust,also. It's new to them.
    When I am in a situation watching someone I love suffer, I would so take it onto myself if able.
    Watching someone suffer can cause loved ones to feel hopeless, too.
    Everyone...with guidance from docs and friends..like here :)...can learn how to better cope and better explain to our loved ones what we feel, need, or don't need.
    It gives new meaning to one day at a time.
    It's good you are here! Please, speak freely...vent.. whatever you need. You will be supported!
    It was nice to meet you. Please...keep in touch!
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • My heart goes out to your young self <3
    Yes I know the burden feeling you speak of as well as the not wanting to discuss all the awful pains & feelings you are experiencing. It's hard, even for those who love us to understand what this "life" of pain is like.
    With that said you do need a healthy outlet to express these feelings, keeping them inside will cause more stress in your body. For me stress = pain, its one of my triggers.
    As Savage said, I too seek a counselor weekly, one who specializes in chronic pain to help me deal with mental aspect of my medical issues. Before my surgery I had never seen a mental health worker. After surgery, I needed it, and at 7 months post op I still go weekly and it's helped me.
    I know you mentioned lots of doctors & visits, do you have a dx? Have you seen a pain management doctor?
    I hope you get well young one and resume your life very soon!
    I'm glad you posted on Spine Health, there are so many great people on this forum who can provide support, an ear to vent, a shoulder to cry on and a safe place amongst people who know Exactly what you are going through!
    WWW Warm Well Wishes & welcome to SH!
  • Thanks so much for the warm wishes and advice virginia, I will look into pain mgmt doc and metal health worker.
  • Thanks for the advice Savage :)
  • Hello maldita, I'm 21 too and I also have spine problems though they are minor-but-I-think-soon-turning-into-major. Just wanted to say that I feel the situation you are in.
  • depression does happens in everyone's life.. so don't worry about about it... concentrate on any other things which brings you happiness, talk to your friends and invite them to your house have a nice time forgot your pain... will pray for you..
    Get well soon
  • Remember, it could always be worse. I'm only 17 and am currently enjoying my spinal stenosis :/
  • im 27 and been hurt for 3 and half years now and am a father of 2 boys with another child on the way, i really feel for them and my wife bc i know that i am a burdon if im not crippled by pain im cranky, im lucky i got hurt in the army bc now im retired at 27 years old so i dont have to worry about my family eating but still i feel very worthless as a man just found out i also have a TBI so my frontal lobe in my brain is jacked up that controls happiness and aggression, so that dosnt help things i dont know what to do sometimes
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,427
    His happened about 8 years ago..slowly but surely improving with his moods and abilities. He admits to trying to go off his meds sometimes, but knows they make a difference.
    He does not have the chronic pain. So yeah..you have double whammy. I have the pain and my head messed up from strokes...but I know it's not the same thing.
    I don't have answers...I struggle myself. I try to be the best I can be in my situation...even if not the parent or grandparent I envisioned myself to be. It's like needing to reinvent myself in the job market, only this is my life.
    My therapist helps me think of ways to reframe my thinking so I can see my strength and purpose.Stuff I never would have thought of on my own.
    Your family, especially your kids, love you no matter what. That's the biggest motivator for hanging in there and trying different ways of coping.
    Keep in touch
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,427
    Thank you for your service!
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • I am sorry for everyone's pain. John Lennon said, "Why on earth are we here. Surely not to live in pain and fear." Everyone is too young to be in pain. I am 44 and feel too young. My son is 17 and believes he is too young. My step dad is 81 and believes he is too young. Keep coming back here where you will find others who understand. I hope you are young enough technology will out pace your pain and your quality of life will improve. I hope that for everyone. Peace.
  • I know exactly how you feel. I fell and broke my sacrum and tailbone when I was 13, now 20. Had to drop out of school for a while, stop working for a while. I know exactly how you feel. Get better!
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