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kittydollfacekkittydollface Posts: 1
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:52 AM in New Member Introductions
Hello I just came across this site and read some of the posts and this is the first time I have not felt so alone. I have no family except my two children and the pain issues I am having are having such an effect on our happiness. I try and keep my chin up but it gets so incredibly difficult. I have two shoulder issues, right one has surgery in 09 and it hasn't given relief. Have a S1 disk issue and causes low back, hip, and leg pain constantly with not much relief. I have extenuating upper back issues and neck was sprained at one point and never got the curve back so it is straight and there is a flat bone. Unfortunately, a lot of this is caused from a past abusive relationship in which produced a child. I have a thirteen year old girl and two and a half year old boy and let me tell you, no friends or family or father in the picture has become a whole other challenge. I have so much hatred towards my ex and what he has done to my body. I thank god for my child that was produced but my ex has ruined my body and I will forever live in pain. And all the while he is running around to bars, getting in trouble, and starting rumors about me in my small town. I am only 39 and before this happened, three years ago, I felt 21. Now three years after the fact I not only feel my age, I feel older. Alot older. I do not want to make a pitty party and apologize for the excessive complaining. I guess I just really needed to get it off of my chest. How do any of you deal with just the ongoing struggle? How do you keep up your chin? I do because I have two kids and have to but it is most certainly forced. Pain or no pain, I just want to WANT to live. I WANT to wake up and look forward to the day. Not open my eyes and just think god I hope this day goes by fast. I do not sleep well either but at least I'm not chasing a two year old around or butting heads with a thirteen year old girl. I really have no one so I am hoping to make friends here so I can get some great advice from people who understand what pain can do to a person. Thank you and looking forward to reading other posts. Take care everyone! Finally not alone!


  • Hey there,
    Welcome. First, let me commend you for getting out of an abusive relationship. You DO have a desire to live and it's clear you have hope. What a remarkable example you set for your children just by saying "I want to wake up and look forward to the day".

    I'm sorry your physical health is trying to get in the way of your positive mental health but the good news is you have a group here that can at least share experiences on their back issues and what's worked and not worked for us.
  • Hi there,glad you have found this place.There are many here that suffer pain constaNTLY & KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.sorry for the caps ,lol,not yelling at you ,LOL.
    You are doing extremely well to cope with the load you have.Try to be kind to yourself & focus on the good things in life that give you joy.
    As much as I get sick of constantly having to remind myself,it is better to focus on the good,& refuse to allow your mind to even think about the bad.Hard I know,but comes better with practise.
    And when you are having a bad day,know that that too,will pass.There will be smiles & laughter for you again,just hang in there.You are not alone,many of us live with these extreme stressors & conditions & know how you feel.
    May today be a good day & bring you some joy in some small way,no matter how bad it is for you.

    Great that your here now,talking about these things does help,especially with folks that do understand.
    Cheers for now
  • hi and welcome to the forum! :H we are here to offer you support and answer what questions we can. you are so right that you are no longer alone!! spineys are a very friendly group and we are here to listen and give you comfort among other things... i hear how difficult things are for you and i am sorry for that.. it cannot be easy!! i hope that being on the forum will give you some relief in being around others who feel as you do.. i wish you all the best of luck!! you don't say now what you are doing as far as medication or therapies?? take care!! Jenny :)
  • Up until this point, I've not been compelled to share much more of myself than the basics that led me to Spine Health. However, I am also a single mother and was also in an abusive relationship.
  • Hi Kitty

    Welcome to our forum. :)))

    I think you're very brave with what you've been through and well done in getting out of the abusive relationship. I'm sure your precious children must be very grateful to you.

    Even though your ex is spreading false rumors about you, hold your head up high and keep true to yourself. Are you under a pain specialist at the moment? Perhaps your pain meds need to be reviewed so that you can get some relief.

    Is there a church or social worker in town who can help you to make friends?


    Take care


    XLIF L2-4 20.8.15
    ALIF L4/5 2009
    Laminectomy/discectomy L4/5 2008
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