Hello I just came across this site and read some of the posts and this is the first time I have not felt so alone. I have no family except my two children and the pain issues I am having are having such an effect on our happiness. I try and keep my chin up but it gets so incredibly difficult. I have two shoulder issues, right one has surgery in 09 and it hasn't given relief. Have a S1 disk issue and causes low back, hip, and leg pain constantly with not much relief. I have extenuating upper back issues and neck was sprained at one point and never got the curve back so it is straight and there is a flat bone. Unfortunately, a lot of this is caused from a past abusive relationship in which produced a child. I have a thirteen year old girl and two and a half year old boy and let me tell you, no friends or family or father in the picture has become a whole other challenge. I have so much hatred towards my ex and what he has done to my body. I thank god for my child that was produced but my ex has ruined my body and I will forever live in pain. And all the while he is running around to bars, getting in trouble, and starting rumors about me in my small town. I am only 39 and before this happened, three years ago, I felt 21. Now three years after the fact I not only feel my age, I feel older. Alot older. I do not want to make a pitty party and apologize for the excessive complaining. I guess I just really needed to get it off of my chest. How do any of you deal with just the ongoing struggle? How do you keep up your chin? I do because I have two kids and have to but it is most certainly forced. Pain or no pain, I just want to WANT to live. I WANT to wake up and look forward to the day. Not open my eyes and just think god I hope this day goes by fast. I do not sleep well either but at least I'm not chasing a two year old around or butting heads with a thirteen year old girl. I really have no one so I am hoping to make friends here so I can get some great advice from people who understand what pain can do to a person. Thank you and looking forward to reading other posts. Take care everyone! Finally not alone!