Hi girls! I am a 41 year old who has had DDD for 10 years.
I want to ask you a question but before I do I want to brief you on who I am and what I deal with in regards to pain. It started with a herniated disc in late 2001 early 2002, and every known treatment and medication they offer. From acupuncture, Laser treatments, massage, hot therapy, cold therapy, Tens Units, Spinal blocks, Epidurals, weeks and weeks of Physical Therapy. Finally a failed Laminectomy was what happened.
Along the way I developed Arthritis, as well as Fibromyalgia which is the absolute worse pain on top of this crap I can tell you. Throughout the years, and after having a failed surgery which left me with a very bad taste in my mouth for surgery ever again. In July 2010 I found my entire left side (leg and foot) completely numb, and I couldn’t walk at all. I basically collapsed. I then had no choice as the DDD was so bad the L4-L5 deteriorated completely leaving me to have to have a disc replacement as well as a discectomy and fusion, cut front and back in an 8 hour surgery. One and a half hours of the surgery was completely dedicated to scrapping out arthritis from the failed 2004 surgery.
I take an enormous amount of pain medication obviously or I would be bed ridden.
I am so not tooting my own horn here at all. I just want to see if women are going through this specifically as only a woman could. Years ago I lived in Las Vegas (before this happened) I worked as a cocktail waitress in some of the finest clubs there. I was something to see. I have picture that absolutely blow people away. Since this has happened, and I don’t know if its the pain or the medication, but I never even put on makeup anymore. I wouldn’t leave the house without lipstick and my hair being done before this all happened. I have lost the entire routine I had in the past. Wake up shower, blow dry hair, do an hour of make up and get dress. Now I take the hottest bath I can, and put on sweat pants, I have really long hair and I throw it in a bun. I NEVER go out, and I never EVER dress up, do my hair wear high heels, and trust me while in Vegas I wore heels to work every single night. I feel incomplete in a way, as I have completely lost that woman. I have gained weight, not only due to the meds, (***which has a huge part to do with it), being over 40, lack of activity, having 2 boys, and obviously someone in this type of pain of course cannot do crunches or cardio anymore. I exercised my ass off back in the day. I would go on a 4 hour hike in the mountains outside of Vegas with my black lab three times a week. Don’t get me wrong I go to physical therapy now, and it helps me tremendously, but I have not worked out-worked out since this happened. I just want to know if you all have lost the whole beauty thing as well or is it just me. It is very depressing to look at those pictures. I wish I could get more motivation...to be at least somewhat back into taking care of myself the way I did. Now I see how women let themselves go, when I was that beautiful woman I judged women who let themselves go.........man have I learned a lot since then. Anyway does anyone have any thoughts or motivational tips to make me feel like doing those things again in this daily hell I live, or does anyone want to share similar stories?
Its a very sad feeling and I have a strong feeling I am not alone.