Anyone felt that?
Probably more at the start of it, where you are young, have worked hard and in good faith, and everything is (slowly) taken away. Now you have to work hard, so much harder than people who do not suffer disabling pain, and your reward seems to be loss, grief, stigma and eventually financial ruin.
I never told anyone about my pain, what it was doing to me. I just took it, and the more it hurt, the harder I went. When it finished me I left town, didnt tell anyone. The medical system denied my pain. I attempted to rehab it myself. It'd be nice to think if I'd been more honest or forthcoming about my pain, people would've been supportive.. but this wasn't the reality. Still isn't.
I am very fortunate. I got access to an op (fusion + adr) and I took it. I am a lot better and still improving. I won't have to endure that chaotic level of pain that I did for so long. I am hopeful I can get better still and have a high degree of normal function, and I have reason to think I will still improve over the months.
Sometimes it is just hard to fathom the horror of it all, and what it does to your head.
The only way I can really describe severe chronic pain: it takes no prisoners.