Welcome, Friend!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Veritas-Health LLC has recently released patient forums to our Arthritis-Health web site.

Please visit http://www.arthritis-health.com/forum

There are several patient story videos on Spine-Health that talk about Arthritis. Search on Patient stories
Protect anonymity
We strongly suggest that members do not include their email addresses. Once that is published , your email address is available to anyone on the internet , including hackers.

All discussions and comments that contain an external URL will be automatically moved to the spam queue. No external URL pointing to a medical web site is permitted. Forum rules also indicate that you need prior moderator approval. If you are going to post an external URL, contact one of the moderators to get their approval.
Attention New Members
Your initial discussion or comment automatically is sent to a moderator's approval queue before it can be published.
There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.
This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test

I Cant, Yes you Can

dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,833
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:52 AM in Depression and Coping
On of the biggest problems about dealing with Chronic Pain
is accepting the fact that it is real. We all hope that after surgery and/or other treatments that the discomfort and pain will go away and we can return to our normal activity.

There are many who have been able to do this, but unfortunately, there are many who have not. Living in pain day in and day out really wears you down both physically and mentally.

For those of us who have been doing this for a very long time, we realize that living a pain free life is really not in our cards. We understand that and just try to move on so we can make the most of life and enjoy it the best we can. Personally, a long time ago, I gave up the notion of living without pain, without restrictions and limitations. It took me a while, but now I think I am better prepared for everything.

Instead of saying I cant do this, I cant do that, I look at ways that I can do those things, just in a modified way.

We need to adapt to a different life style. For some of us thats some minor changes, for others, a bit more. But we can all do it without a doubt. We just have to want to.

Overall, I still believe the physical aspect of chronic pain is easier to deal with than the emotional piece. We seek the medical field to help us with our medical problems, so one not also see the medical field to help us with our emotional problems.

You are never alone while living in chronic pain. This existence has an effect with everyone you come in contact with, especially your immediate family.

I've read so many posts where people say
My life is over, I cant do it anymore

To that I answer

Your former life may be over, so now you can start working on your new life and making the most at of it

We need to think about What we CAN DO and forget about what we CAN NOT DO
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com


  • Ron,

    So true what you've posted here. I've tried to echo similar to others here when I see the "my life is over", "I can't live like this anymore", "I can't do anything anymore." etc.

    After watching the new Karate Kid, I adopted one of the quotes that struck me best. (see signature line) Similar too as others have posted, we aren't "disabled" we are "re-abled" meaning that while we no longer can do things in the normal -known- way, we just adapt and do things in our new way.

    Like you, chances are high I will have this or higher pain for the rest of my life. Does that thrill me, not in the least. Does it end "life as I know it", nope. I like to mark major changes in life (marriage, divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, retirement) as chapters. Chronic pain is its own chapter, but the book I hold have many chapters, both good and bad. :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Ron,

    You are so correct. I was asked not long ago what I can't do? My response was I try not focus on what I can't do but rather what I can do. There are things I really can't do any longer, but then again that opened doors up for me to find some other things. Things I may have never tried or been interested in before. AS we go through life everything is going to change, no matter if we were in chronic pain or not. I have always been someone who faced change straight on, as for the most part I had no control over it. So I figured the sooner you accepted it, the better off you were. Of course this was a little harder, sense one day I was fine then the next day not. But change we must.

    I think even though everyone accepts there are things they can't do, there are days still they are frustrated with it. For, example a bunch of my friends are going on a float trip on the holiday weekend. I won't be there, as the risk are really to high. Paddling a canoe is not going to happen either. So I made them a handle deal with my picture on it and to send me the pictures afterwards of what I was doing. Sounds silly, but you know I am good with that. But then again what choice do I have, I can't change it so I just need to accept it. Now I guarantee you one thing, while they are there I will treat myself to something and enjoy it, in place of being upset not being there. I will also say I couldn't be doing what I am doing if I was there and healthy.

    We all have develope coping skills and how ever one figures it out, they will arrive at answer to deal with it. The other fact I realize is no one is getting any younger and we all will stop doing some things just based on the aging factor, well most I should say.
  • Ron you hit it right on the head.
    i have been so focus on doc. fixing me i have not stopped to adapt to a different life style.
    i have been going nuts lately.
    I go back now to the first surgeons nurse, and the pain management doc a year later said or asked what kind of job i was going to do after this.
    and i say the same job i all ways have done.(heavy construction)and they say that is prob not going to be a option. they have seen this before(me hard head did not pay much heed to what they said till now)
    yes it is hard to adjust to the glass half full.
    and yes i have done things and met people that are really special. that i would never have before this all started.
    yap just got to keep on keep-in on(i will some day get my head around this)
    tamtam=when i turned 30 i started getting(counting)younger each year tee hee :D ( aging factor not hear)2am my young body will take a pain pill and try to go to sleep again :))(
Sign In or Register to comment.