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How depressing!!! Is this what life has become???

SplendagrrlSSplendagrrl Posts: 108
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:53 AM in Chronic Pain
Feeling miserable today, feel like omg another daybto figure out what to do!! Part of me feels like I should plan and do something, and the other part of me is too depressed! I know I should be happy with what God has given me and find enjoyment in the little things but it is not easy.

Feeling pathetic! What has my life become but someone who only talks about her pain. I mean no one wants to hear it I know it but it's like you can't help it because it is your life everyday. Try to tell myself to shut up my husband and family does not want to talk about this everyday! Maybe I will try to get through the weekend without talking about it.

I feel like a loser. My day relives around searching for doctors, making appointments, reading articles on all my symptoms, and reading these boards about pain, surgery and depressing things. Every time my husband asks what I am reading it is the same thing! Medical articles or medical boards!!

Is this what the rest of my life will be like or will I come out of this misery, accept it and start having fun with life again? I also have surgery in my future and one part of me wants to hurry up and get it over with so I can move on, but the other part just wants to forget it so I don't have to be bed ridden on top of it all for a month or whatever.

I used to love to do Scrapbooking and crafts but nothing interests me anymore! I have no desire to do anything, except see my grand baby. :) I feel like if I would just try to do something it would help but I can't even take that step. I only do what's necessary like cooking dinner, laundry, grocery shopping etc...Then go to bed and wake up just to figure it out all over again. Ugggggghhhhhh

Oh well anyway guess I just had to write this down, maybe I will do something today.

Does anyone else go through this, I am guessing probably so. Some days I just feel miserable and like a total loser!!!!!!


  • just reading your post .i can see my self in there ! talking about pain all the time etc..its so soul destroying ..but if you are in pain ALL THE TIME you would talk about it ..just as you would if you were very happy you would be smiling and laughing a lot .back pain is hell and unfortunately once you have it you are unlikely to get rid of it .i have a very good family doctor and he tells it how it is ..and when i asked him whats my prognosis he said very poor .you are no different to a cancer patient .you feel the same pain and are on just as many drugs as some of my cancer patients and you are unlikely to get better .back pain although not normally terminal just feel like it !.he was not making fun of any one what he was saying was just because i have back pain its just a serious as any other serious disease.and so bloody painful .i feel like i have been robbed of my life because for the last 5 years and 10 before 0pr that{but not to the same extent} all i have known is pain and sleep deprivation and missing out on nice things the only time i go out is to the chemist to collect my pain killers or to the doctors or hospital .i could not go out for a meal as i could not sit down long enough and even if i could i would feel so out of place now as i have no nice clothing and i have lost my self confidence to the extent that if i leave my home i feel a panic attack coming on .back pain ..dont you just love it !
    1997 laminectomy
    2007 repeat laminectomy and discectomy L4/L5
    2011 ALIF {L4/L5/S1}
    2012 ? bowel problems .still under investigation
    2014 bladder operation may 19th 2014
  • I fully understand where you are at. I too have grandchildren and boy are they a life saver in more ways then one.

    Does your grandchild live close by? I was asking as I "use" my grandkids to get my but moving when I am down. I take them some where and do something with them, which always lifts my spirits :)

    I also know that feeling of wanting to want to want to do something but can't want lol ;)

    FORCE yourself to do something you know you can do and that you use to enjoy. I am amazed every time I make myself do something how much I enjoy it.
    Unfortunately I have to force myself almost every day as of the pain, BUT I never regret forcing myself and the out come is always good.
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • I think many of us can echo what you are saying Splendagrrl! The problem is we don't just have 'neck/back' pain, but pain that radiates to other portions of our bodies as well. Which I think compounds things.

    I can relate to the research and the message boards. My hubby summed it up well though - "You need the support of those sites. It helps you understand, and on the boards, you are able to talk (type) with people who fully get it." Truer words couldn't have been spoken. Now the key is balance.

    I went through (and sometimes it sneaks back in) phases where I lost interest in things that interest me in the hobby department. I find that when that starts, I push me back into them, and then I am happy again. I just finished a 50,000+ #11 seed bead project for my great nephew. He is in the USMC, and I made this for him to display on his desk, or hang on a wall.

    http://i783.photobucket.com/albums/yy118/Aviatrix36440/My bead projects/BeadedUSMCWilly.jpg

    Instead of looking to finish a craft project in one sitting, a day or a week, I just do what I can and let it go from there. Some days I only did one or two rows, other days lots of rows! This keeps the project fun. Plus if I know I am making something for someone, it kind of gives it more interest and priority to me - meaning.

    Outdoor activities. I don't fit a lot of my clothes anymore, so when I go shopping I actually "shop online" first. This way I know exactly what I want, so I can go into the store, get what I want and get out. I still get to shop, but don't spend too much time walking/standing around and making the outing pure hell. Just a bit of planning and you can do *some* things with minimal pain. I have found small things can make for a big and happy day - and yes, like most on here, I do wake at times not wanting to go anywhere, or even change out of my comfy sleep clothes! *HUGZ* We understand!! :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • If your finding yourself not wanting to do anything you need to see a doctor. First you should check with your family physician and have some blood work done to see if anything is out of line. For instance you could have some low vitamin levels or a thyroid issue. You also need to discuss with them the pain control. Having your pain under control is essential. You might also check in with some counseling.

    As far as activities you need to find something you can do for exercise even if it is just swimming. Find a group class and make a friend. If it is the right class for you, it will be others not able to get around well. Make a friend and work on the buddy system. But, having something other than day to day living is so important. But spend sometime looking around at what you could do, in place of all the time looking at medical information.

    I read a little bit of medical things, but not to much. I trust and have full faith in my doctors that they are doing all the can for me. So I leave the medical up to the experts. But I do control the things I can control, like working everyday on healthy eating, being sure I have accurate information on myself when I see my doctors. There are only two places I bring up my medical, which is here and at the doctors. So when I am with others my ears can be open to hear other things, and not just me or my pain. I do do a lot of living vicariously through others. Accepting I can't do somethings, but I enjoy seeing my friends and family do those things. It took a lot to become a spectator but it does still give me pleasure. But you need to find something you enjoy, and that gets you excited and gets you going in the day. Sometimes a little counseling will help with those rough patches and get you over the hump or explore all your alternatives. You might also look for a chronic pain support group at your local hospital to get involved in. I think it is key you have face to face contact with others and not just the internet.
  • Amen to that post tamtam!!

    I agree with MsHD too, in that if things get difficult we need to FORCE ourselves to do things. I always feel like I'm not going to be able, happy, energized, interested, etc.., in doing things because of my pain, yet every single time that I do (force myself) I am always glad that I did.

    It's like starting a new job or anything new that might cause stress or anxiety-it's always hard getting started and yes I might hurt more later, but I would rather live with pain than exist with it.
  • I have to say... sometimes you just need to LISTEN to how you sound... and get past it. You're right, even our loved ones, or maybe especially our loved ones don't want to hear it one more time. Talking about it does nothing... it surely doesn't make me feel better... reading about it, well there are times when I need to take a day or month away from all this garbage. Reading about it... for what? I know what it feels like, I don't need to read about what someone else thinks it feels like, thinks it should feel like or anything else.

    As mentioned above, if it's so bad you're just not moving at all, maybe you need to talk to a doc about it. But sometimes you just need to get over yourself and get out there....

    Getting back to the part about talking about it over and over and over... I find that all that does it make me hyper sensitive... talking about it makes me think about it, thinking about it makes it hurt, it hurting makes me think about it more and then nothing helps. Get up, get out, and, get over it. That's what I tell myself every day... sometimes I have to listen to myself, mainly when I'm saying... oh shut UP to myself!

    I'm not trying to sound harsh, nor do I want to be mean, but knowing what all is going on at my house right now...if I even start to think about what's going on with me, it'd paralize my ability to do anything else.

    Good luck, I hope you find something that can give you the incentive to get moving, even if it just means from the chair to the table, or the couch to the porch or to the "stoop" if you're from my old hometown ;)

  • My grandson is not too far away, but far enough where I cannot just jump in the car everyday to go see him. It's about a 2 hour drive. I went to visit him yesterday and spent the whole day with him. I know I have to pay for it later, like last night could barely move or walk when I got home but it was worth it. He is definitely my happiness!!!! :) He is definitely what keeps me going! I still can do most things as long as I take my pain pills, but more strenuous things I will pay big time later but it is usually worth it. Like everyone else I have my good days and bad days.
  • Great job on your craft project, it looks great! Thanks for the shopping tip. I do most of my shopping online just for the reason is it is so painful to shop in the store. I have had to just walk out many times because I was in so much pain. That is a good idea if you do have to go to the store to look at things online first. Sometimes I go with a list but only get half way done before I just have to say forget it and leave.
  • I did actually rejoin the gym. I thought well I am in pain anyway I might as well work out so I could at least feel better mentally. So I forced myself to work out 3 or 4 days a week. I even had to pay my daughter to help out with the house work so I could exercise, because on those days would come home completely exhausted and in pain and would have to lay down the rest of the day. Mentally it made me feel better but physically it was killing me. I did it for about two months then about two weeks ago just gave up. Maybe I will go back I don't know.

    I do something every week usually on the weekends but the hard part is the everyday going through the motions. I can get out and do what ever I want as long as I keep the pain pills down every 4 hours, but anything too strenuous I pay for it later. It just gets depressing.

    As for seeing someone I don't know seems like a waste of time to me. I know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. I also know what makes me feel better and I do not think it would help. I just need to find a way to mentally adjust and come out of this fog I seem to be in.

    I do have fun when I do things but just getting myself to feel like it to begin with is the hard part.
  • I know but that's the hard part sometimes is forcing yourself to do things. Maybe mentally you know you will pay for it later, or I am just at the point where I am at now it is just making me very unhappy. I know I just need to get past it and start living again. I like your statement of doing things and living with the pain instead of just existing, makes a lot of sense. :)
  • Well, starting that new thing that causes anxiety or stress is probably a lot of what (at least in my case) causes us to put things off, after all, starting something new or just pushing ourselves can be exhausting day after day. It probably is best to just do whatever it is, instead of thinking about it-and that is what I find to be the most difficult sometimes.. but we gotta keep trying.

    I do get overly sensitive if (when) I think about it too much. Turning it off can be a challenge mentally.
  • I hear what you are saying but that was my point, I know exactly how I sound and want to be more considerate to not just talk about it all the time.

    I did not mean to sound like I never do anything, me and my husband do something every weekend. I also take care of the normal everyday things. It is just that in the day to day things nothing is interesting me that I used to do, except for my grand baby who I drove two hours yesterday to go see and he is the highlight of my life! When I say I do not feel like doing anything I meant like Scrapbooking, or gardening, or shopping. You know those extra things that bring you joy.

    As for these boards they have been really helping me feel like I am not alone in all of this, In fact I have been in chronic pain for years and recently just came to these boards to find support and others who could relate. :)

    I do understand where you are coming from and that talking about pain all the time makes you think about it more. I never thought of that so I will think about that when I am trying not to talk about it all the time. :) Thanks
  • I'm sure we all go through this feeling of 'uselessness' - I know I do!!!

    This back pain is sometimes so all consuming that it affects every little thing you do. Like this morning, for instance, all I did was the hoovering for goodness sake. Admitedly I had spine injections yesterday and I suppose I'm a bit sore after those, but I did not expect my stupid back pain to come back so soon. I expected the pain to at least disappear for a while after all the anaesthetic/steroids was pumped into it yesterday.

    It does bring you down. It does make you so fed up with your own self, that you just know nobody else wants to hear about it either. If I was my husband, I wouldn't want to hear about his back pain ALL the time - that's why this forum is so supportive. We can say all these things to other people on SH knowing that they have personal experience of dealing with the same issues and totally understand how we feel.

    As for pushing yourself to do things - been there, done that, enjoyed it at the time, but certainly didn't enjoy paying for it afterwards with increased pain. Even last Friday my pain prevented me from going to work and it was supposed to have been my first full week back - I felt like a total failure (still do actually).

    And, being on pain meds all the time certainly doesn't help either. I think it has alot to do with our moods - lack of concentration, feeling so tired all the time, not being able to sleep well, it's no wonder we sometimes start the day feeling totally exhausted and not inclined to want to do anything. It's a vicious circle sometimes.

    Perhaps, as some others have suggested, you could have a chat with your doctor. He/she might have some advice that could make all the difference, or, if you've been on your pain meds for some time, perhaps they could be reviewed if they're not helping as much now.

    You're definitely not alone!!!!
    2 x Microdiscectomy 2005 / PLIFusion 2-level 2010 / revision surgery 2011 / NEVRO Senza spinal cord stimulator implanted February 2013. I WILL NOT GIVE IN / UP !!
  • After '911' I got into beading. I saw a lot of those really neat safety pin bead flags, and that started it! Depending on my mood and hands (right hand sometimes just won't behave), I make jewelry, beaded projects like the one I posted, loom and off loom. This one was off loom peyote.

    I too shop online, but with clothes, I am really fussy about the material, and I need to feel it before I buy it. Pants - I can't go by the so called sizes anymore! In one store a size 6 is really a 2, or a 4 is really a 10! They even covered that on the news the other day! (G)

    Here's another tip that might help. I can't stand but a few minutes unless I move around, and even that is limited. I go to stores like Kohls, Bealls and Ross because there are all kinds of places to sit in them! Walmart, K-Mart etc. seem real thin on seating unless you are in their shoe department, and then those sitting spots are real low - ouch! Also in the stores I shop in, you can cash out at a lot of locations within the store vs standing in line! Gotta learn the 'tricks of the trade' we now live in! :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
    You know that I know where your coming from. There are a couple of things you've said in this thread that make me think that you may need an antidepressant. I was taking very lightweight prescriptions.
    I do see a pain psych once a month when I see my P.M. Dr. She is part of his team. She recommended that besides doing all of the things that have been recommended to you. That I also get more serious about my anti-depressants, and talk to the P.M. Dr. about upping them to a much more therapeutic dose. At least for the time being. I did and have been slowly increasing to the target dose. That he wants me to be at.
    I have not heard you mention anti-depressants or any kind of counseling. Mine is due to a pain flair that wont go away. And my mom recently passing away. Yours seems to be your every day life. Your problems are much more serious than mine. I think that with time I'll get better.
    But you wont, unless you come to terms with your misery and find some acceptance. And a new way of managing a new life.
    As for talking about your pain to your friends and family. DON'T. They'll never understand or have sympathy for you. Untill they've walked a mile in your shoes. Other than on this forum or with my professionals, I don't talk about my pain. And I've found that its best that way.
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • Jim,

    Yes of course I have thought about them but that is all. It is just the last thing I ever want to do. I am sure they help a lot of people, but I have seen people get more depressed with them and never get out of it. I tried fixing this myself by forcing myself back to the gym to feel better mentally and I did for a few months but the physical tole and pain was just too much. I am really scared about taking them I don't want to get into a pit that I can never crawl out of. Maybe I will wait and have my surgery and go from there. All I need is some relief even if it only helps a little that would be good. Then if I am still feeling this way maybe I will go down that road. I have know for this past year that I probably should ask for some, but like I said it scares me. Thanks for your help and reply they really help!! I actually got out and washed my car today...lol forced myself!,, :D
  • Thanks Sue for your thoughtful reply. I know what you mean about the pain meds I believe they contribute to 60% of my depressed feelings!! I so wish I did not have to take them. I am hoping for relief from my upcoming surgery and a miracle that I will at least have enough relief to not have to take them or at least cut way down. Of course with so many different problems I will probably have pain anyway. If not from DDD then it would be the osteoarthritis, scoliosis or my neck pain I still have when overused. It is such a battle!!

    Of course I have other things to that do not help. My four children are grown and I had a hysterectomy so can't have any more and I am on hormones which dose not help. After 20 years of staying home raising children this was supposed to be time for me. I was going to go out and work and have a career and now I cannot due to pain. So that is just more depressing and makes me feel useless sitting at home.

    When you have a job and bring home a paycheck at least it makes you feel worthy. Anyway I hope you get to feeling better so you can go back to work. Maybe your shots need a day or so to kick in. Probably by the time the weekend is over. :)
  • So many of us can relate to all that you are saying. I used to be so anti seeing someone, as I had had a few negative sessions with the wrong people. But when I found the right psychologist and psychiatrist it really changed things. I got on anti-depressants and boy do they help. I am not saying everything is rosy and I definitely still get depressed but they help a lot. I still have the pain and after 3 back fusions in 4 years it is getting a little frustrating. I have had back pain for 15 years due to getting knocked unconscious by a snowboarder. Not even my fault and it was a hit and run. Had to come to terms with that and the fact that it changed my life. I do like to go for walks and I do swim. It is wonderful to be weightless. I have to find the things I CAN do and not the things I can't do altho this is very hard sometimes and its easy to feel sorry for myself but there is always someone out there worse off than me. Good luck and keep us posted on how you are doing.


    Spinal stenosis, spondolysis, spondolythesis, L4/L5 laminectomy, L4/L5 360 fusion with instrumentation, L1 to L5 fusion with instrumentation and bone graft from hip, L1/S1 fusion with replacement disc put in and a nice bolt from my spine to my pelvis; PT, accupuncture, prolotherapy, many cortisone injections, 4 rhizotomies. Currently on tramadol.
    L4/L5 laminectomy, L4/L5 360 fusion with instrumentation, L1 to L5 fusion, L5/S1 fusion w/ disc replacement, left and right SI joints fused.
  • I don't know how to do the quote thing right, so I just copied the part that I am talking about.

    "As for talking about your pain to your friends and family. DON'T. They'll never understand or have sympathy for you. Untill they've walked a mile in your shoes. Other than on this forum or with my professionals, I don't talk about my pain. And I've found that its best that way.
    Good luck, Jim"

    Jim I couldn't of said that Better myself. My father was/is in severe pain before I had these problems. I always wanted to do things with him and he always said he was in too much pain. I couldn't understand it. Now I have been in so much pain that I understand it. I could kick myself for every time I made him feel bad about not being able to do things with me like he wanted, but wasn't physically able to do.

    Until someone experiences the pain that you are in, or even similar pain, they will not understand.
  • I noticed one thing in your post about your meds. You stated taking the pills every 4 hours. You should talk to your doctor about something that is longer lasting, so your not clock watching. Part of what is going on could be from the highs and lows of getting relief then the pain returning so fast. Clock watching is never good idea. It is one thing when someone is recovering from surgery, but on a long term basis that is not a good idea. Not to mention you might have talked yourself into your going to be in pain in 4 hours so why do anything if say your two hours into the meds. I know I was in that game for awhile and got a different med and it helped a lot with highs and lows. So that might be something you want to bring up with your doctor.
  • Yes I have been thinking I need to get a pain management doctor lately. My regular doctor has been managing my pain medicine for a couple of years. The problem is I have talked with him about that before and he is totally against pain management doctors. He said his dad went to one and all they did was heavily medicate him where he could not even function. He has some kind of problem with them. So I will have to refer myself . We have discussed the pain patch a little but he seems like he does not know a lot about managing chronic long term pain. I told him last time I was there that I could not take living my life just waiting to take the next pain pill. I have to take them every 4 to 6 hours. If I stretch it to 5 or 6 I already am in a lot of pain, but believe it or not it happens and I forget to take them. Then it is harder to get my pain back under control. You are right it is just a constant reminder that I am living with this pain. Thanks for the post I am going in search of a pain management doctor...lol
  • Splendagrrl post is how most of us feel, And i dont agree we always have to run to a dr when we are already receiving pain treatment with meds and when we will still have pain knowing pain meds will never totaly get rid of all the pain. Thats part of our strugle that when they cant totaly stop the pain its always going to be hard finding the motivation to get going and feeling good about anything when you hurt.

    This is the strugle of a pain patient dailey and we know it, the dr"s know it. We know whats causing our lack of ambition geting up in the morning going through the same emotions starting the day with pain. Its not always depression when a person dont feel good. We simply hurt every single day and not much to feel good about. But we do what we can and when we can. From what i read splendagrrl doing what she can when she can and she just said its hard. I would not be sending her off to a dr when she already seeing 1 and surely not a shrink just to learn what she already knows.

    Many people post about the strugle they have that a lot of us have and we jump to the conclusion that they are suffering depression. Soon as a person has pain then they must be suffering depression. So i just want to point out that dr"s cant fix everything in our life. I feel bad for every single person dealing with this kind of pain and bs each and every single day as myself. I kmow pain sometimes goes hand in hand with depression, but we have to realise there is a fine line of who is considered suffering from depression and who is simply not satisfied of what our life has become after surgery and having to live in pain.

    With that being said from what i read you sound mentaly strong to me Splendagrrl and just dealing with same strugle as most of us here. So you might need a litle boost in spirits as we all do here sometimes and hope you find it here with rest of the people who are in similar situation.

    I have seen a few friends in the past get cought up in there pain situation and confused by dr"s of having depression when they simply just had hard time dealing with pain we did not expect in our life. And in some cases always runing to a dr like a shrink is not the best answer either. Medicating a person in to a coma is not the way to make a person beter and not any way more productive in my view.

    I am in no way saying shrinks are a bad thing. Thats as long as that person is truly dealing with medical depression not pain that we know we dont like and who would and a litle pill aint going to fix it. So lets not tell everyone when they say they dont feel good and hard to get motivated cause of pain and they are already being treated for pain to rush to another dr as if thats a cure to the problem. Dr cant fix everything, if they could most of us would not be here!
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • Alex,
    I am nto suggesting that a pill will fix everything, if it would I say sign me up, but that is not reality. My concern is when someone says they have no interest in doing anything that depression is setting in. Sometimes just doing some counseling and can bring you out of the fog. You may already know the answers but counseling kind of brings you to the answer you already new.

    Splendagirl, as far as the pm doctor, look for a physiatrist. They do more than just prescribe meds, but work for a whole body perspective. They will work on a combination approach of getting you back to a point where the pain is more bearable. That may encompass meds, physical therapy, massage therapy and injections. Not to mention sense it is their primary practice dealing with meds, they will be more up to date on what meds are available and showing more promise for your individual situation. I think all of us can relate to how you feel and are just trying to give you ideas that might help you live a more productive life. NO your not going to go run a marathon, well not likely, but give you the tools that the pain is not the primary force in your life. I like to think of living in chronic pain as the same process one goes through when they loose someone. Everyone grieves the loss of your body differently but you have to go through the stages. Everyone here is in a different place and time on that scale. Those of us who except it didn't get here over night it was a process. But give you as many tools as possible in your tool box is crucial in your long term success.
  • Now we need a tool box for our meds? If we need a tool box for our meds we in big trouble. They might as well start a business of meds on wheels. Just like car repair service on wheels. If i go somewhere and my body breaks down in pain a van will pull up and they inject me in the ass and i am ready to go. Same as an auto club membership it will be a medic on wheels membership. Man my brain is working overtime, Somebody stop me,,,,,,,,!
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • Alex,

    Just wanted to say thank you! Reading your post made me feel very good, and not just like I was a basket case or something! Lol To be honest being on this forum for the last few weeks does help knowing others are out there going through the same thing and that I am not alone with this. In fact me posting this topic did help me get it off my chest and all the replies did boost my spirit that day. I actually went outside and washed my car and went to a couple of stores. Made my day a whole lot better. You are right I am just learning to cope with all of this and I have my bad days, very bad days and good days. I do not feel right now that I need to talk to someone about this, that is why I came looking for a forum for support!! Maybe sometime in the future if I just cannot cope I will find a psychiatrist and go for counseling. But I think what I am feeling is what everyone goes through. Now there might be some who already are past that stage and learned how to handle all of this, but I am just learning. Anyway have a good Memorial weekend!!
  • Tam-tam,

    I will look into a physiatrist as well. I will read and find out more information between regular pain management and a physiatrist. Even though I have been that route for 4 years. I have been through excercise, Physical therapy twice, NSAIDs, epidurals, tens unit etc.. I am not at the point where surgery is my only option and as long as I decide to go through with it, it will be in the next few months. I mainly need pain medication management. Thank you so much for your replies and help!!!
  • Actually that does not sound half bad!!! LOL. =))
  • I think you missed my point Tam. Its hard enough to find a good dr to do surgery on a person. Sometimes relying on finding now another dr to start the guessing game of what meds to try on a person like a lab rat to some just sometimes starts another wave of problems.

    I was just sugesting if a person understands there situation and can deal with what now is normal with pain situation because nothing can be done about it. Then they have a prety good understanding this is it. There is nothing in the world that will make me feel beter about my situation shrink or no shrink. Besides the only shrink i seen was the one before i had the scs trial which was a must to have the trial. And i think after the few minutes i seen him he needed a shrink by the time i was done with him.

    And by the way i dont think a person will ever realy accept the fact that they have become dissabled and cant work and miss out on life. You are forced to accept it because nothing you can do about it. I understand its very easy to fall in to deep depression for sure and then a person does need help. But untill that hapens then its just the dailey strugle most of us have of finding the ability to over come the pain to find some fun and hapiness in our messed up life.

    Now lets all get naked and run or hop up and down the main street and scream,! I am in pain and i am not going to take it. Lol. Git-er-done
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • alexhurting said:
    I think you missed my point Tam. Its hard enough to find a good dr to do surgery on a person. Sometimes relying on finding now another dr to start the guessing game of what meds to try on a person like a lab rat to some just sometimes starts another wave of problems.
    Anyone with any chronic condition, not just pain, goes through trial and error. There are no easy answers. The docs hand out RXs for the most common meds that tend to have the least side effects on most. That only works in part. The rest is a big experiment and the doc is not the lab rat... ;-)

    You need several good docs depending on the sum total of your medical issues. Not to exclude therapy.

    Discounting therapy by saying I know what is wrong with me. Well that doesn't mean you cope with it very well. Just read plenty of threads on here. This one is just another example.

    There are many ways of coping and dealing with medical issues. Sometimes a combined approach of both physical and mental is best.

    Splendagrl. You've got to get a handle on this from both the physical and mental aspect. "Is this what life has become?". Only if you let it. That's on you to do something about it. You are correct in that talking to your family about pain every day will and does get old. If you're sick of it don't you think they are? The question is what are you going to do about it? You've only quit when you've quit...

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