Welcome, Friend!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Veritas-Health LLC has recently released patient forums to our Arthritis-Health web site.

Please visit http://www.arthritis-health.com/forum

There are several patient story videos on Spine-Health that talk about Arthritis. Search on Patient stories
Protect anonymity
We strongly suggest that members do not include their email addresses. Once that is published , your email address is available to anyone on the internet , including hackers.

All discussions and comments that contain an external URL will be automatically moved to the spam queue. No external URL pointing to a medical web site is permitted. Forum rules also indicate that you need prior moderator approval. If you are going to post an external URL, contact one of the moderators to get their approval.
Attention New Members
Your initial discussion or comment automatically is sent to a moderator's approval queue before it can be published.
There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.
This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test

Hello and Thank you!

LoveMyDadLLoveMyDad Posts: 1
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:54 AM in New Member Introductions

I'm coming here with a heavy heart. I thankfully don't suffer from chronic back pain my very much loved father does and it's starting to effect his and our lives in ways we never imagined. He's a doctor and got in a couple of car accidents over ten years ago with that he's had a lot of surgeries. As my sisters and I have gotten older we've seen him get more and more depressed, more and more in pain, and sadly using more and more pain medications to survive. He can't function anymore, this once great doctor is missing work, in debt, unhappy and addicted to pain meds. He's having leg problems so much so he can't drive anymore. He's only 53. My sisters and I live in a different state then him and we don't know what to do. I found this site after searching all day on the internet to find someone something that can help us. I feel like he can't survive this and his abuse of the meds coupled with his depression and drinking he will do something to himself or God forbid show up to work one day and work on a patient. We need help, I don't know what to do, I love my father and he's in a dark place and we don't know how to get him out. Any suggestions, advice I'll take it.


  • hi and welcome to the forum! :H we are here to offer you support and answer what questions we can. i am so glad you found us and dropped in.. your father is so very lucky to have a concerned and caring daughter on his side.. you face several problems in that your dad is still in charge of his own affairs and most likely thinks he still is able to make fine decisions and you live in another state.. i am sure you have tried talking to your dad, that would be the first step but it sounds like this has reached a heightened state of alert and you might need serious intervention. is it time to get his hospital involved? he could really hurt someone or worse!! do they need to be told, although i am sure they may already know and are covering it up..this is a dark secret between doctors.i wish i had more answers but i want you to know you are not alone..stop by anytime you feel like talking or need information.. AA might also have some ideas for you.. they have brances everywhere and loving volunteers there to help you... please remember to take care of yourself.. don't let worry get you down!!it is your father's life! there is only so much you can do without actually taking over your father's life.. good luck! Jenny :)
  • I've read your post several times during the course of the day to see if I could lend any help. I think I can now?

    My background is that of a pilot and a law enforcement officer (retired now), and like a doctor (to parallel) on a daily basis made life and death decisions, was in control of my environment most of the time, was the expert, and was the authoritarian. That is what your dad has been throughout his career as well.

    With that stated, his pride, his belief in that he "knows" what is best for him, and yes if the hospital "really" does know as Jenny alluded to, career protection as well as keeping things as normal as possible for as long as he (feels) he can.

    Its a sticky road to travel, even if you are his daughter that I am sure he loves. Does the hospital he works for have EAP? EAP is the "Employee Assistance Program." It is part of OHR in place to assist the employee in confidence, and without risk to their employment (unless the issue is criminal which is not this case). Employees normally have to initiate contact with EAP, an or too, the supervisor can "strongly" advise him to seek the counsel of EAP. If an employee refuses this offer, and their issues are found to affect their job, they can be removed.

    Even to this day, pilots protect pilots, law enforcement, we have our blue line and lifelong brotherhood, and I am sure physicians have their protective area. Do you know any of his medical friends (that you are friends with as well) that you can trust to talk with? Sometimes a "peer to peer" chat informally can make the difference too.

    Sadly, if you REALLY KNOW he is abusing his pain medications; and you REALLY need to be fully sure of this, then you need to contact the hospital. Sucks I know, but just remember before you act if this is the step you feel is correct, "Suspicion is NOT proof." If wrong, you could destroy his career, and more so your relationship with him.

    I brought that up as you don't see him all the time, and it could very well be that he takes his pain medications only at home, and they make him loopy (mine do), but doesn't take them while working. Please let us know how it goes. Sorry you are in those shoes...

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • i just wanted to add that your dad really needs to see a pain specialist and one who works with doctor's and nurses. his limp may be from sciatica and that could be helped with some nerve pain medications... how long has it been since he has had a work up? and a medication change by another doctor?there are epidurals and othere sources or pain control available now.. once again good luck! Jenny :)
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,427
    For me connection is vital for a well and also for a person whose health is impaired..diseased.
    Connection to be involved in another's life and for someone to even try to understand me. My pain like.. takes on a life of its own. It's become like an annoying someone attached to me and I need to learn to live with it with some peace. It's a lonely road.
    I was unable to continue work since the pain required so much attention. I can be very irritable and lack of understanding due to lack of concentration.

    All that to say..I have thought of drinking to make it all stop..or let me sleep through it...but I know that is more problems and to never even dare mix with all the meds.

    Since you live so far away..it is difficult to judge the medication regime and it's effects. Many of us need daily pain meds to navigate our homes..fridge.. shower...and most people think it is out of line with normal useage.
    You didn't mention a mom. Hope your dad has someone nearby and be an assist for your dad in maybe getting a lawyer and disability to quit work.. getting a pain management doctor..they know how the mix of the meds are most effective.
    So much can help life be a little easier, but it's difficult to change without support and love from family.
    Best wishes for your dad and blessings to you for being there and researching.
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

Sign In or Register to comment.