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Surgery was postponed........Questioning myself!

HeidiLynnMHHeidiLynnM Posts: 445
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:54 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
Hello everyone! I was supposed to have surgery May 17th but I got very sick. I was going to go ahead with it!
My problem now is that I am still scared to DEATH! I am so afraid of what will happen, and the recovery. I don't have a new date for surgery yet. I am afraid to call, and set it up again. They are actually supposed to call me..

I am wondering, for those of you that have had a fusion. Did you have good, and bad days? I do, and today is a bad one. I do not like to take pain meds, so I only take them when I need them BADLY. I am wondering if others are the same?

I keep questioning myself about the surgery. I am afraid that if I don't have it that I will always wonder if I would have felt better. I feel like I am going through so much in my head. My husband is worried about after surgery, and me not doing all I do now. He is worried about the depression I have.

Sorry to carry on, just looking for some input :)


  • I assume you need an ACF, I just had one a week ago, and the pain is not near what you probably suffered before your surgery. You have a lot of restrictions, which are hard for me, because I am active. You need neuropathic pain meds, which are different than regular pills. Get the surgery, you will be amazed, good luck!
  • Like drucied said, more likely than not your pain will go down big time post op. I found that on my first fusion (ACDF) that I stressed about the surgery a lot more than what the surgery was actually about!

    I awoke from surgery and actually started crying in recovery because *all* the pain I had been having in my neck, shoulder and right arm was GONE! I barely even noticed any discomfort or pain from the surgical site!

    Good and bad days? You betcha! I have discovered that my body knows way before my logical brain "when" surgery is a must. Hopefully you will come to a decision that works best for you. *HUG*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Heidi,

    Surgery is a very personal choice and no one here can tell you if it is the right thing for you. I myself by the time surgery rolled away couldn't even get out of bed for the simplest things. I was also at risk for paralysis, so surgery was a easy choice for me to make. I tell most people you will know when surgery is right for you, as the pain will more than likely be unbearable or you will loose bowl or bladder control. If your not sure about surgery, maybe you should go discuss your concerns with your surgeon? Is it possible you don't fully trust the surgeon as well? Did you get more than one opinion regarding surgery?

    It is okay to be nervous about surgery, as that is only normal. But you should understand the consequences that could happen by prolonging surgery given your unique case.

    You are correct with your understanding that there is a chance surgery can actually make you worse. You need to discuss those odds with your surgeon. I forget which surgery you are having, but all surgeries come with risk, even the minor stuff. You might want to make a list of all the benefits, risk and possible rewards to help you make the decision. Good luck and keep us posted.
  • I will be having alif l5s1. I do trust my doctor, it is just fear of the unknown. I know that it is up to me, and really, I would love to wake up, and feel great!!!!!!! :)
  • I forgot to add that I have major nerve damage. I am sure that some of you remember that it took 4 surgeons before I found this one! I hear so many stories, and they scare the dickens out of me! I have spoken to my doctor, and nurse already. I wish I would have never gotten ill, I would have just went throught with it!!!
  • When it come to surgery, you're your own best weapon against failure. I know it sounds ridiculous but the fact is only one who's been there and done that can really know thagt it's not ridiculous. I had a 4-level TLIF after 30+ years of pain and all the "lesser invasive" treatments and it was the best thing I ever did. You said yourself that you finally found a great doctor and that you trust him. Fear of the unknown is understandable but know that there are far more success stories walking around out there than you could know. The problem is, once they're "better", they never come back to tell everyone how great they feel. They're out living their lives. Consequently, the "bad" stories and their tellers are all you tend to hear. So know that, if you've exhausted all other remedy and you've found a doctor that you trust, the battle may not be won but you're half way home. Your own frame of mind plays a huge role in the surgery so have faith; there are alot of us walking, talking success stories out there and with the right doctor, there's no reason you can't add to our ranks.
  • Fear of the unknown has a big-time enemy in numbers and there are a number of us that visit the Chat room here regularly; people of all ilks that are on both sides of the surgery issue. Better or worse, yea or nay, agree or disagree and one side or the other, discussion among peers fuels education and and education eases fear. So, if you're ever in the grips of fear, drop on by the chat area. Chance are you'll find a sympathetic and experienced ear there.
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