I feel as if I have lost myself, myself worth, myself being, I am so sick of being sick and feeling so useless.10 months post ALIF and I WANT my life back, I want ME back. I just can't accept what has happened to me and how to stop it.
I want to live again, work, laugh, dance, socialize & enjoy living instead of just existing and watching the world and my life pass me by.
How do I get out of this hole? I am in big time self pity mode and I know many of you must of felt like this at some point, please share how & what you did to crawl back into the world of the living. I think the revision surgery looming over me, I want to wait till 12 month mark, the waiting is brutal, I'm scared to even have the revision, seeing such bad results from the original surgery. That along with my neck issues & knowing that at anytime now my employer will be letting me go... I haven't worked in 10 months, so I can't blame them.
I just feel like I am in a room with no doors and need to get out.