I was told that I have osteoarthritis this morning. After going home and crying uncontrollably for several hours I realized that I had to do something to take my mind off this. So, I decided to go back to work and now I can't do anything but sit here and think about it.
I haven't spoke to my doctor yet but the nurse read me the results of the MRI and said what it meant. I got the MRI because they were looking for MS. Not that I want it but it seems like it might've been a less painful disease than this.
I was hoping that I had something that could've been corrected with rehab or surgery or something but instead I got this. I'm going to get a second opinion but I'm not putting too much hope into that because how could this be misdiagnosed?
I'm so scared and sad. I'm so afraid of what's going to happen to me. I'm an active person and want to do lots of traveling and climb mountains. I do triathalons and 5ks, I love to hike and camp and ride quads. But now, this may all fall right through my fingertips. I feel like there's an hourglass above my head now with the sand running out.
The osteoarthritis is in my thoracic spine which from what I've been reading is not a common place to get it. I've always attributed my mid back pain to poor posture because I sit like a lurch. It's never been painful but it's always had a soreness to it. Some exercises like sit ups with weights always made my back feel like it was going to snap and I'm assuming this is why.
I just don't know what to do... I went out and bought a bunch of supplements and I'm going to try all sorts of therapies but I just wish there was a cure. What's going to happen to me? Will I need a cane? Or worse a wheelchair? I barely have even started my life... I'm supposed to get married next year and now I don't know if I want to burden my fiance with my possibly debilitating disease. I would hate for him to have to deal with that. I want to have kids but will my spine allow that?
I feel like this is a really bad dream and I'm just trying to wake up. I can't figure out how to cope with this. I'm so scared.