Will I never have any sense?
Will I never learn what I CAN and CANNOT do?
Who am I trying to impress?
Oh dear, I did such a stupid thing today, you just won't believe it. I can't even believe I'm owning up to doing it.
There I was, at school with the secondary school kids. There were 4 of us support staff - the last week of term - all doing fun things all morning.
Just before lunch, we were all invited to participate and "Have a go" by the coach (his title may give you a little hint that we were in the gym!).
So, there I was, saying I had done this before (ha! about 40 years ago and I didn't have back problems then!), when I got up, took my shoes off, walked over to the equipment, proceeded to do what all people do and then made a complete fool of myself in front of everyone!
Now I have got two deep scratches on my forehead, which bled quite a bit. Are very sore. My glasses, thank goodness didn't break, but have bent a bit and the varifocals are in slightly the wrong place, which makes my eyesight go a bit funny sometimes. My face is sore and should be permanently red considering how embarrassed I felt - and it's my own fault because my work colleagues were telling me NOT to do it.
All the kids looked at me.
All the support staff looked at me.
All the teachers looked at me.
And me - I felt like an absolute idiot - but why did I do it? It's not like I was showing off because I know I cannot do it that well - I couldn't all those years ago, so I know for a fact that I'm not going to improve with age.
WHAT? You may ask?
So my face and glasses had an argument with the trampoline - I was trying to kneel and was a bit more enthusiastic than I should have been and ended up landing on my FACE!!!!
It's a good job we finish school this week. I couldn't bear the embarrassment for any longer!
Can you please explain to me "Why do we do stupid things like that?" I could have made my surgical outcome so much worse - I could have damaged the hardware, it doesn't bear thinking about what I could have done to myself. But the trouble is - I just didn't think about it, I just got up and did it.
I blame it on my Butrans patches of course! They do make me forgetful, with less concentration - or is it that I just find it very difficult to accept that there are things I just cannot do any more (or shouldn't).
Why am I always trying to push or test myself to see what I CAN or CAN'T do. Why can't I just accept that I should act my age and not my shoe size (I used to hate my mum saying that to me, but it's so true!). I'm nearly 55 years old for goodness sake, not 25!!!!
Sorry it's such a long post, but I haven't got over it yet and am trying to give myself a right telling off.
Has anyone else done anything just as stupid? Please tell me I'm not alone...........
2 x Microdiscectomy 2005 / PLIFusion 2-level 2010 / revision surgery 2011 / NEVRO Senza spinal cord stimulator implanted February 2013. I WILL NOT GIVE IN / UP !!