For 22 years, I've been living with chronic pain trying to find causes and ways to alleviate the symptoms, in the hope it will get all better someday. But, throughout the years with endless stream of visits to doctors and treatments (every modern medicine and alternative), albeit moments of respite it only got worse, slowly but surely.
As a matter of fact, so many countless dark and torturous moments, only the idea of death somehow calmed me to the next small break. Now I know I will not get better. 22 years of experience taught me that. No, I am not depressed. Indescribably frustrated and yes, saddened. Knowing with certainty death is coming, and when it finally does I will be deliriously happy.
To anyone who takes time reading this, thanks. I just wanted to talk to someone who might be listening.