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"Out too long, we are replacing you" the boss said...

wwlady41wwwlady41 Posts: 131
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:56 AM in Depression and Coping
Hi all,
I have been working so hard to stay positive and focus on the future. I just wasn't prepared for that phone call... should have been. I have long exceeded FMLA and yes I know the company has the right to replace me. But somehow I just wasn't ready to hear it, I broke down, something I don't like to do... still trying to just find the way to deal with it all. I have been there for almost 17 yrs.
No one even knows if it would have been the right job for me in the future, so much driving time, but I just wish that I could have had a choice.
been out of the chat for a bit, just trying to get my head wrapped around the situation, be back soon, hopefully



  • Sorry Bonnie.

    This is a hard blow >:D<

    Feel Better,

  • I am sorry Bonnie, that is hard to hear. Maybe they would let you go back as a part time leader or receptionist? Or you can look for something else. :(
    ACDF C4-5 June 23rd, 2011

    Another surgery in the near future. I am 26 years old.

    Current Meds- Norco 7.5/325, Cymbalta 60mg, Gabapentin, Adderall 20mg
  • HI Bonnie,
    After 3 surgeries in 2010, I was also let go from my job of 10 years... sad situation, and not good financially, but you must make the best of it. I miss my coworkers, and just getting out of the house every day, but am adjusting ok... filed for SSD and got approved in 5 weeks.. :) That monthly amount helps, but when my hubby is on winter layoff, this will not work...there goes the savings acct., or what's now left of it...
    But, I spend more time online now, on FB, classmate
    connection site, and emails. I also have the time to rest when I need to, and follow my schedule not anyone else's !! We are the same people we were before we lost our jobs, and our health issues are not something we can change, so we must adapt...somehow...
    I wish you luck in finding a better place for your head to be, than feeling like you failed....You did not fail...they failed to recongnize a good employee, same as me, and as far as I'm concerned, IT IS THEIR LOSS, NOT MINE!!!!!
    Feel better soon...
  • Bonnie,

    That is never a phone call one wants to get, but hate to say been there done that over this injury. But in the long run, I will never be well enough to do that job again, so while it hurt and I was bitter, I have to let it go. For me I was injured on the job and being paid under work comp, and waiting for another surgery, when the call came. So don't feel to bad it happens to many of us.

    One thing you might want to get that put in a formal letter, so you can have the reference for a future a job. I had it in writing and basically says to my injury, at that moment in time, I was unable to full fill the job requirements. Also, you should be getting a packet for cobra, and check all your benefits your allowed to get. I know it is hard, but some of that stuff is time sensitive. Maybe if you get better you can return to the company or a similar position with someone else.

    Your fellow co-workers your good friends with hook up with them on FB, so you can stay in touch, that is what I did. Now I did get a little karma when the VP who let me go, ended up being let go as well. Just keep in mind everything changes for a reason and while we don't often know the reason at that moment in time, it becomes clearer as life goes on.
  • I was in a motorcycle wreck 8/15/10 and went back to work in Oct worked until 1/19/10 then had my cervical fusion stayed off work and on 5/11/11 then had a lumbar lami then while I was checking my ins around the end of May I notice lot of declined medical bills and it said my ins was terminated so I called our main office in Lexington, KY and they said oh that is for employees and since you was terminated you don't have it. It was so nice of them to terminate my ins a week before my surgery. What is bad it is a catholic mission center that supposedly helps the needy. I was there for over 5 years and was they longest in the warehouse in Louisa, KY and it was a new 43,00 sq ft building. They was only in it for money and I'm proof they don't care for people in need. I also sign up for short term disability in Feb and called the main office and was told that was for employees. But I was employed at that time. It would only been for 26 weeks and it was paid by our ins so no money came out of their tight pockets. FBAMC was the name and it was ran by the Lexington Catholic Diocese. As soon as my vacation and sick/personally days was gone so was I.

    Lexington Catholic Diocese
  • Nerve damage forced me to retire from a job/career of almost 30 years. I didn't want to retire, but knew I could not continue in my job either. Like the other members who have responded, it bites, and yeah, most of our employers see us as a number, and if we are sick or ill, they can care less.

    What also bites is most of us with "work ethics" put our hearts and souls into said job. Like Frannie said too, you are the same person no matter whether your working or not!!

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Same thing happened to me. My company made up some false "essential jobs functions" that said I had to be able to lift 80pounds ( I am an engineer). They used that to keep me out on leave of absense until they finally terminated me on "disability" which where I live kept me from collecting unemployment ( long dumb story).
    You just have to keep looking. I found a good job prospect on Linkedin.com that is a 50% work from home and your own hours job. They are rare but are out there you just have to keep looking.
  • When I applied for a Medical Leave of Absence my employer (large hospital) was very upfront about this. If I am off work for more than 6 months then I will be terminated. That isn't an issue at this time as I've only been off for under 2 months.

    Last week I saw my surgeon's PA for my 6-week follow-up visit. Since my fusion isn't evident yet she gave me another 10 weeks off. At that time they'll decide whether or not I can begin PT. That leaves me with only two months to go through PT. I can only hope that when 6 months have passed that I can return to my position.

    I should note that my employer provides both Short and Long Term Diasbility benefits. As I understand the process, my employer will transition me to LTD if I am unable to return to work after 6 months of MLOA. The LTD coverage has a maximum time limit of 5 years.

    Since I am 57 I could theoretically get LTD benefits until I turn 62. At that point I could apply for an ordinary retirement. The difference is that SSD funds are projected to deplete in 2017 while standard retirement funds have a few more years to go before becoming exhausted.

    Having said all this, I remain quite hopeful that I will start PT in early November. I also entertain the hope that sometime in November or December I can return to work with (possibly with some restrictions). I certainly do not want to have to retire before my time. My deadline to return to work is early in January 2012.
    Disability retirement
  • I appreciate your kind words, working on wrapping my head around the situation :)
  • yes, I did speak with hr about that, hopefully all gets where it needs to be, got to be ready and able to manage 2 hrs on my feet :) I am still healing and trying to keep my focus on getting stronger. It was just a blow, should have expected it, just didn't...
    I am trying to remain hopeful!
    hope you are doing well Donna :)
  • thank you Frannie, I found your message comforting and inspiring. My occupational therapist was in today and I shared what had happened. She paused and then said, okay, it sucks, but now you don't have to have the job hanging over your head! You can focus all your energy on healing.
    amazing :) a nice way to turn a crummy situation into a positive one :)
  • I can relate to what you said, I really have been worried and not sure I could return to my position. This year I had both cervical and lumbar fusion. In my job I had to be out in the field for the majority of my time, that meant an avg of 2,000 miles a month. I don't know if I really would have been able to handle the driving.
    Guess I was just not ready to give up the idea yet. But I do know that time moves forward and they really did need someone in the position caring for the staff.
    Great reminders about the packet and a recommendation letter. I am blessed, my hubby has been the one carrying the health insurance. I am trying to remind myself to count my blessings, and that is just one of them.
    another tremendous blessing has been this site and great people like you!
    thank you
  • I am just stunned, how terrible! I am so sorry you had to go thru that.
    I really hate it that this was a so called charitable organization. They should be ashamed.
    are you doing okay?
  • totally true! I think it was one of the things that really got to me, I have always been the kind of person to give my all. But I just don't think I can do things any other way..
    I was just one more of those here on the site that worked for a very long time with a lot of pain, just didn't think I could take the time to take care of me... what was I thinking?
    just have to remember, business is business, we really do need to take good care of ourselves

    take care
  • hmmm 80 lb lift for an engineer.... that's just nuts! amazing the lengths some will go to!
    I am so happy for you that you found a great new position!
    I am currently working on getting stronger and healthier, I hope I am as fortunate as you in the future,
    thank you
  • hi quicksilver, I hope that everything goes very well for you. Take good care of yourself and heal :)
    I think it is good that your employer was upfront about the situation for you. Knowledge does offer comfort.
    take care
  • Yes, sadly business is business and has to go on, but those "saying bye-bye" to us could be a bit more personal - especially if you've worked there for a long time!!

    I would doubt any of us intentionally got hurt, and did the best we could for ourselves to heal and return to our lives. Unfortunately nerves (suck) have a bad habit of getting back at us when we squish, stretch, crunch, cut or smash them!! Lol!!! Sorry, had to add a touch of chuckle to lighten things. :)

    If you're a model and know you have to stay xx weight, and keep a certain look and decide to get fat and let your looks go, then that's "your bad" for not taking care of yourself, but most of us didn't have a choice as to what our spine decided to do, and too many didn't have much of a choice in so far as whether to have surgery or not as you know. Just remember, you are still YOU... :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Bonnie, I'm so sorry to hear about this. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, that something more suited for us or meant for us is around the corner. We just have to keep the faith in whatever that we recognize it when it gets presented to us!

    You know we're always here, and I hope to catch up in chat with you soon! Don't give up!
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • Bonnie, thanks for your kind words of support.

    To be honest, I think that it helps when your employer is a larger organization. Mine has a decent sized Human Resources department and laywers to held them with their procedures and policies. I'va also worked for smaller companies that didn't have this level of employee support. In fact, one of my previous employers was a husband and wife outfit. If I had to take leave for surgery I would have been told to "take a hike". The owner was only interested in the bottom line. Having an employee on any kind of leave would take too much out of his wallet.

    Disability retirement
  • I was let go after 10 years because I needed six more weeks to recover after FMLA ran out. I asked to work from home and was told HR didn't like to do that sort of thing. Well, guess what? I got a lawyer and filed a discrimination claim with the EEOC. Apparently I have a case that I should have been covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act and they could have tried to "reasonably accomodate" me. No outcome yet, but I am feeling good about the decision. There is a short time to file a claim, so if anyone is thinking about it talk to an atty in your area. You don't pay them unless there is a settlement.

    Also, I paid into short term disability benefits at work and received 60% of my income while I was off work, which is much more than SSD and unemployment would have been. If any of you paid into it, or aren't sure, def check it out.

    Like you all have said though, life does go on! Hope all is going well with everyone now. Take good care!
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