I read your first e-mail yesterday, and I really want to thank the time you dedicated in answering my question.
I went to the doctor, and he said that the fusion is going well. That I should do everything even if I have pain. He did not recommended any specific therapy. The therapy given to me were isometric exercises for the neck and shoulders and stretching, this were given to me by my physical therapist. The problem is that they don't supervise me. I do the neck exercises, I use to walk every day, I am starting again and I do Tai Chi every Tuesday and want to do it more days.
I am in more pain than before, my left arm is starting to hurt again as well as my shoulder blade. It is difficult to stay in a chair for a lot of time, because pain radiates to my head.
I am trying to cut the klonopin slowly. Sometimes I wonder if I should move to the states and go to a clinic where everything is more integrated.
Four month after surgery I had a cut in my hand, on the knuckle of my index finger and it still hurts 3 month later. I wonder if I can correlate that for me it seems that cuts take time to heal so that is why my surgery is still hurting. I know is not that simple, and know that there are other things going on. I have reverse lordosis, so I guess that that affects the structure also among other things.
I am eating a lot of papaya, since it works like a muscle relaxant and papaya since it works as an antiinflamatory and also ginger.
Tamtam, I did write my questions down. I also try to plan everyday what I will do the next day. I went to the university and it was a challenge, to meet my friends in a total different way, to talk to people, and feel in so much pain. Sometimes the feeling of accomplishment feels good while other times confronting those spaces floods me with nostalgia and with the doubt of, will I'll be able to do this.
Another thing is that I start to see things like how is it possible that there are so many people suffering while others are having so much fun! I always thought in helping others. I wonder if people treasure what they have? I am trying to treasure what I still have.
I am worried because I have no work. I don't know right now in what I could work since I feel that the pain is exhausting, I can manage it for a while but then it takes over. And don't think I will qualify for economic help.
I had a lot of job opportunities and now I am so confused, I don't know in what to work.
Hope you are better. Thanks for telling me not to say never, it brings up the light!
Did it happened to you that after all this changes you felt that your memory changed and your writing and abilities to communicate.