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public apology to anyone that doesn't like me

backache99backache99 Posts: 1,338
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:56 AM in Matters of the Heart
it has been brought to my attention that some of the people i call my friend take great exception to some of my posts .i take grate care to emphasise that all my information comes from my personal experience .and i always say to people when they ask about drugs and medical photography to see there health professional or family doctor {even if i know that answer} since i have come back from being banned i have become a target the slightest thing i say .that someone doesn't like goes straight to the mods .all i have ever wanted to do is give my 16 years of pain and suffering experience to help others .and i thought that's what i was doing .on one hand i get people thanking me for a good post or tony's advice was excellent or i agree with tony's advice and so on ..so you can imagine my surprise to wake up today with an official waring ..yes warning because i have supposed to have given out medical advice .i have only given out my own personal experience and i have said the spine health don't allow me to give details or words to that effect ..people that have PM me to get the website to certain TENS manufacturers and i have always had thank you from them .since i have back i have noticed that i am not as popular as i once was .but as far as was concerned i was sticking to the rules ..well it looks like the people i call my friends have been going behind my back and reporting me to the mods with the slightest thing..well thank you for that ..my intention was only to help people in need .i do feel like i am being bullied and at 45 i thought that ended when i left high school .i have never advised people to take more medication i have always stressed that you must see you medical professional before you alter your medication .i thought i was doing the correct thing .it would look like i can't offer my 16 years of experience without some one reporting me ..do you get some perverse kick from that? ..yes i am upset i thought i thought i was liked.i must have been kidding myself .so be brave and let me know who you are .i have a massive operation soon and i love spine health its my life line but i am at the stage where i really don't know what to post to help some of for fear of repercussion .i would like your support not hostility .i have been a member here and on the old SH for about 6/7 years and never a word from the mods but since i have come back i have had plenty ..because my wife is a medical professional nearly all our friends are in the medical profession so my advice is medically correct .my wife posted good sound advice as i was worried about this person and i got a telling off for that .i don't want to leave or get banned .but i feel you should know enough is enough now .i am ill in pain and need support ..not stabbed it the back #who every you are you have made you point
1997 laminectomy
2007 repeat laminectomy and discectomy L4/L5
2011 ALIF {L4/L5/S1}
2012 ? bowel problems .still under investigation
2014 bladder operation may 19th 2014


  • Read your posts with great interest and respect. I find you to be knowledgable on many issues and have never felt you held yourself out to be an expert or providing "professional"advise. Don't give up on your fans!! I value your input and learn from your experiences. I am unaware of you over-stepping any boundaries because I am not really familiar with " Roberts Rules of Parliamentary Procedure".

    Please keep informing us on how you are doing and providing us with your sage wisdom. I am fan!
  • Tonly I appreciate you and support you. I am sorry that you are having issues.

  • I truly enjoy reading what you have to say. Your experience and knowledge help me immensely. It is sad that you are having to go through this. I hope the dust settles soon and we can all get back to supporting one another.

  • Tony,

    So sorry to hear all of this. I guess as a TENS user, I saw "advice" being given and not "medical advice". Wow, ouch! Bummer that you are going through this. Just hang tough, we support you! *HUG*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • No issues here. As a matter of fact, I wanted to say sorry for a quirky response I made to one of your about a banned member. It was not personal but now realize it could have been perceived that way.

    Anyhow, a great thing about this site is that it is to help others benefit from our experiences...and at the end of the day, we each are responsible for own own health decisions. I know this board always gives great food for thought...including your comments.

    I am sorry if others are taking issue but not me...
  • Sorry to hear this, I always look forward to seeing you on the website when I'm here and knowing you who are in so much pain are here to wish everyone the best even though you're having so many issues yourself. I've only seen suggestions of what has worked for you. Guess I missed something but even so had no idea.

    You certainly need support at this point in your life and know the majority of us here on SH look up to you and respect you and your strength you have to find daily to keep on going. We're here for you Tony. >:D< Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I don't know what brought this on, but I've always considered you to be a reasonable and caring individual. Just remember that many of the folks here are in pain and that can sometimes make them cranky. I don't think you've probably done anything you really need to apologize for. Keep on being yourself.
    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • Just want to echo what everyone has said, I have learned a lot fron you and I don't ever recall a comment from you giving medical advice.
  • I hope that the content of your post isn't as bad as all that, but I don't know. All I know is that you've been a valuable member throughout the years and you are well respected and liked.

    Please take things in perspective and know that you're still a very viable member here, my friend.

    Just take it easy, give your valuable experience and continue to help our members. I want to see you around for many years to come and know you will be.

    Hang in there and try not to take offense. Take it as it is, in perspective, and continue to help those that admire you and your advice. In turn, we'll be here to help you in the months to come with your nerves and surgery to come.

  • i have had plenty of thanks from various people via emails directly .from links i have PM only the other day someone was desperate to get a particular address and i supplied it from my email .so you can imagine my surprise when i received a rather cautious {waring} i honestly thought i was dong right .as you know i was banned for being drawn in to a stupid argument and i let pain and suffering rule my head .and that was stupid of me and i deserved to be banned ..i have Ron to thank for getting me back in .and i have thanked him several times ..
    i am at the point now when i really don't know what i can and can't post .i DONT want banning again .i feel like you are my extended family .i am awake for upto 20 hours a day .and the Internet is a life line to me .i honestly thought i was being good .but it looks like i have upset some one some how ..but i don't know why ?? i am scared of posting for fear of being permanently banned ..i have gone public for help .this time i do feel victimised .i have 16 years experience and how am i suppose to give advice without mentioning my experience ?? its impossible .i think from now on i will take a back seat for fear of being banned ..there are some out there that send things to the mods about me .i would rather they come to me .again i thank you for your support ..life as you all know is very hard with intractable pain ..i also have the anniversary of my grans death soon and that's always a sad occasion .i am annoyed and upset this time .i haven't even said a swear word on a post let alone sabotage one ..i get more thanks from people from advice given than i ever have ..16 years {i know there are more of you with more experience } of pain and suffering is a lot for any one ..i can't help it if many of my friends are from the medical world and much of my advice is from them converted in to layman's terms.i am here to help and receive help not to upset but if i have or any one has issue with me please tell me i am sure we can sort it out ..the post where my medically trained wife{ 30 years} was reported to the mods and all she was concerned about was the amount of drugs a certain member was taking all her information was correct } but i get a telling off of that ...it wont happen again ..but as for my post or additions to other post it looks like there is someone just waiting for me to do a slightest thing to jump on me ..this is unfair . so show yourself or leave me alone .
    1997 laminectomy
    2007 repeat laminectomy and discectomy L4/L5
    2011 ALIF {L4/L5/S1}
    2012 ? bowel problems .still under investigation
    2014 bladder operation may 19th 2014
  • Tony...just a bit of insight from an experience I had. I was very active in a cause and belonged to a volunteer group's chat board. Well apparently there was some fall out that was behind the scenes between some of the active group members. Several of my good friends left the chat board. I was sad but still stayed on.

    Low and behold for no clear reason, I was banned. No warning, nothing. When I inquired, I was not happy with the response and was told if I wanted to rejoin I should post back in the 'intro' section to get re-approved. I decided I didn't need the drama in my life.

    That board was my lifeline to a passion I have (saving animals). I felt as if I just lost all my closest friends. But lo and behold, I didn't. Eventually, they all found me through other venues and rescue sites. I haven't lost my true friends and extended family.

    I'm sure you will have this board for years to come but I did want to tell you that story to say I know exactly how you feel about the people here...they really do become a part of your life!

    I hope you have a good day today!
  • Perhaps the person who complained about you should be banned. You have a strong following and if you were a US citizen,could probably run for an elected political office and get elected with no problem!!!

    Please don't keep a low profile and keep on posting!! There are a lot of supporters that look forward to hearing what you have to say.
  • I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I always look forward to reading your posts. You are always here supporting everyone and offering your 16 years of chronic pain experience.

    Please don't change being you.On top of all the wonderful, caring posts you put on here, you need the support of all the members here.

    Finally after all the waiting you have been doing, you are going to be having your own surgery soon. We all want to be here for you, when you go through this.

    Please keep coming here and being you, we missed you while you were gone, and want you to continue coming on here. Hope that whatever happened won't deter you from activily participating here.

    We are here for you my friend.

    >:D< Karen
    >:D< >:-D< : Karen
    L3-S1 herniation and bulges, stenosis, mod facet,ddd,impinged nerves,coccydinia
    discectomy/lami July 2011-unsuccessful
    adr L5-S1 Feb 2012
  • Ok what did i miss this time? I leave for a day and you kids are chewing on lead paint off the window sill.

    Not worth geting upset over anything in here if you ask me!
    I dont think you are a target Tony. We all have been in a position where 1 out of 6 or 7 people will read too much in to what we say posibly and either get way over sensative over nothing and its always going to hapen.

    This fine line between what is medical advise and what is an opinion is not very complicated to me. Nobody here is a dr so nothing that is posted here can be a medical advise if its not coming from a DR!

    So unless you have Md or dr next to your name nothing can be considered medical advise!

    So i dont understand all this confusion here always trying to sort out who is giving medical advise or who is giving there opinion. Its all opinions. Nothing can be considered medical advise from any member.

    It says at the front door last i looked when you come in! We are not medical profesionals and should not be considered as medical advise!

    Tony. You say in your post you not as popular as you once was?
    Whats that all about, Who the hell wants to be popular especialy on a pain medical website,

    Whatever warning you got might be just a heads up posibly geting too medical or something like that. Just take it for what its worth. Why get so upset,

    Good luck. Hope you feel beter and dont let it screw up your day,
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • you must understand that i know i am not special there are many on here worse off than me .financially and in health .and i don't class myself above anyone ,but what i do want to do is give my many years of hell. and hope that others can benefit from my ill health .by me telling them how to cope with certain things .how to control pain using TENS and certain beds /recliners and other peripherals that can help ..and i say it again that's all i thought i was doing .i was and still am shocked to find that i am being warned again due to giving advice out{that's too close to medical } ..that's why we are here and if we have to use medical terms to describe a procedure ..is that medical advice ?? i don't want to sound thick when i am trying to explain something to someone and lets face it most of us are expert patients .{my doctor has me down as an expert patient and hes has me talk to young doctors in his surgey and at my home when i was too ill to go out about living with back pain and that's is the truth .so if he can trust what i say please i must be worth something ..if i don't know about something i wont comment but there not much i don't know about lower back problems .once again thank you for your support ,i really appreciate it
    1997 laminectomy
    2007 repeat laminectomy and discectomy L4/L5
    2011 ALIF {L4/L5/S1}
    2012 ? bowel problems .still under investigation
    2014 bladder operation may 19th 2014
  • I really hate any kind of pain. It doesn't matter what hurts, physical or mental. I think both feed off each other. In your post, I hear alot of pain... Whatever happened, I hope it can be resolved very fast. Pain, and looking for answers brought us here. The very thought of being liked or disliked is very wrong in a health site. Pain, suffering, being scared has no borders... Being popular or not, pain doesn't care. I will be a member of SH in a few weeks. Like alot of other members, suffering with a condition for many years before joining a support group. I hope that is what it stays, a caring support site! Tony, I hope this works out for the best and you feel better! We don't need anything else making our pain worse. Good luck with your up coming surgery. Brenda C.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,839
    to also state the value that Tony brings to this site as a member and as a person. Let me also state, that I was the one that delivered a message/warning of concern. No one else needs to be implicated.

    I appreciate Tony for so much of what he has done in terms of helping others and providing information. I've known Tony for a while now and we have had many good private conservations expressing the well being of each other as well as Spine-Health.

    Sure, there may be some situations that needed to be addressed. Nothing in terms of what happen before.

    Things came up that needed to be addressed. I handled this with Tony directly, and as far as I am concerned, it is a dead issue over and done with.

    So, we all can move on from here without any problems.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • well said ron. although i have never talked to, e-mailed or PMd you i have always found you to be a polite individual, tony, who seems generally concerned with others and their issues, who is also willing and trusting enough to let yourself be cared for by others. to me, this is what this site is all about. thanks for listening to my opinion.
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,427
    This site is informative and friendly..but I have to say, there were a couple of YOUR comments that I "cut and pasted" for easy access on my desktop.:)

    Your words were so encourageing! ...informative and compassionate. I leaned on them for awhile...so, thanks for that support!

    Please know I hope to be here as a support to you. We all have different experiences, levels of knowledge re' what's happening to us as individuals, let alone someone else. :)
    But I consider you a friend and am here for you ...if nothing else but to listen and encourage you along the way.

    Thanks for your honesty in sharing what was on your heart and mind. I hope it clarified some stuff and you are more comfortable and able to rest more easily... and relax with your friends!

    Here's to keep on keeping on!

    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,427
    hit button twice :(
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • Tony,
    You know how highly I think of you, not only as a person on here that I can always count on to at least lend an ear (cyberly!), but as a friend and someone that knows the pain that I am going through. Please don't leave; look at how many people took the time to write about how much they like you. I will be praying that your surgery goes well. Please keep us informed.
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
    :D Don't let someone get to you just because they're having a bad day! And when we're dealing with pain that is bound to happen.
    I have NEVER seen anything other than good, caring posts from you.
    And I consider you a great asset to the site. And a great friend also! :D
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • Tony,
    Please don't stop posting or giving advice my friend! Many times you have been kind enough to answer my questions in a pm and I find you incredibly educated and compassionate.
    I'm sorry that once again this is happening :(
    You are an AMAZING asset to this site and someone who has 16 years of H@ll under their belt surely knows what he's talking about! I would rather be told how it is than a candy coated bs line from my dr.
    Thanks Tony for being there! I will include you in my prayers and I hope that atelast 'this' stress goes away..after all Ron DID say it is dead and over with. (fingers crossed)
    Take it easy hon and focus on YOU and that surgery coming up, you don't need ANYONE getting you down! (besides you're far too positive to do that ;)
    have a super day...
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