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Help - nephew stole some of my pills

edited 06/11/2012 - 8:56 AM in Pain Medications
Hi - Thank you in advance for your help here.. I'm in pretty tough place.. My nephew stole some of my pain meds. I am on a schedule with these pills.. What should I do? My family is aware of the situation - and we don't want the police involved as he IS family. Has this ever happened to you? I'm very careful with my prescriptions - I'm in shock.. Should I tell my doctor? I have a great relationship with him. I wouldn't want to do anything to break his trust. What can I do?


  • I understand not wanting to go to the police so it is up to the family to punish him so he knows how serious this is. He could have died! Stealing from family! This is one reason that it is getting harder for chronic pain patients to get narcotics.

    If you don't want anyone else to know then you have to tough it out till your next refill. If you tell the doctor he may be legally obligated to tell the law? and he may put a strike on your record.

    Lock them pills up.
  • I disagree with T9, in whether or not you should tell the PM doctor. I believe in being honest with my caregivers, so I would have to say , tell the doctor.
    What happens if you get called in for a pill count? Or worse yet, get urine tested to make sure that you have the correct amount in your blood/urine stream?
    If either one of those situations were to happen, you could be dismissed and wrongly flagged for misusing your medications and have it follow you from this doctor to any other one you see down the road.
    I realize that this is your nephew, but if you know it was him, and you were able to confirm that, then can you get the meds back from him? If not, then you may be left with no further option but to make a police report. You don't necessarily have to accuse your nephew when making it, but to protect yourself , you may want to make the report at any rate.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,875
    you need to tell your doctor. The main reason being that you are probably on a prescribed dosage, so that the doctor will know when you script should run out.

    Now, that some pills are missing, you will run out sooner. Your doctor needs to know that some pills were missing. That is your first priority.

    How you tell your doctor why the pills were missing is another issue. It may make sense to explain exactly what happened. This may or may not create more problems for your nephew. But at this time, you need to be thinking about yourself.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Others have given super advice! Let me ask you this.... "If" Joe stranger was in your house, and said medications where missing, what would be your actions? I mean, I am sorry, but family or not, a police report should have been filed. As was said, you didn't *have* to finger the kin folk, but too you can't cut this dude slack due to family, sorry. Be it face to face, through your sister/brother - the nephew needs to be taken to the curb if even just within the family right now. NOT acceptable behavior!

    It can label you, and affect YOU on your getting medications! I a thousand percent agree too, you need to let your doctor know. I am very picky who all is allowed in my house, and even more so, *who* can use the master bathroom vs guest. I hope this all works out for you.


    Ps... In future, I would be rather sticky as to who knows "what" as to what you take....
    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • I wanted to tell my Dr. and will tell my Dr.. This is not the first and will not be the last time my nephew has done something like this. My sister and I are now astranged... She knows without a doubt that he stole my pills.. she's the one who found them. She accused me of giving them to him.. fat chance... Sad.. so sad. I won't ruin my trusting relationship with a great doctor... Thanks all.. you confirmed what I thought..
  • It's bad enough when a drug seeker steals from "friends", but when they then steal from family, sorry - no sympathy there for the seeker. My sister has an abusive history with narcotics, and though clean, she is not allowed in my house - yep, created a bit of tension to the 'estranged' level - no loss as far as I can see.

    You have to step back and "pretend" the person isn't family, and then decide "what would be the next move?" It's hard when you think this is uncle Joe, my nephew Tony, my sister Sue....

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Well in my view calling the cops is not the 1 st thing that comes to mind if a family member does something that stupid. Sometimes these issues can be resolved within the family to make sure it never hapens again and aply a litle tough love before giving the kid a criminal record for life over a few pain meds.

    Its easy to say just step back and pretend its a stranger. Why pretend anything?
    Its not a stranger its a family member who had access to your pills who should never of had acess to it,

    Its a red flag that the kid already doing drugs and time to step it up and stop this kind of actions to continue and get the kid help before he goes further out of control,

    Its not the police job or our courts job to raise these kids right and punish them its the parents job, If it was my nephew i would beat his ass and then take him for some councling to find out what turned him in the direction of doing drugs and put him in rehab if he by chance is already a full blown addict!
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • I would call the doctor and let them know. You might fudge a little on what happened and whom did it, saying you had friends over or even family and all you know is your short on pills. Let them know you have a idea, but can't confirm it and by accusing someone you could be in trouble for filing a false police report if you got the wrong person and or slander. Let the doctor know you know you were naive that something like this could happen in your family, but it has, and ask for their advice as to what to do.

    For the reasons above you need to open and honest with your doctor and some how someone needs to get your nephew into counseling as you don't want to be attending his funeral when he gets ahold of the wrong thing. This is a family problem and needs to be looked at like that and dealt with as so.
  • Now that you say that he has done something like this before it becomes more serious and it sounds like his mother may be enabling him. But there are still some important things we don't know.

    How old is he? Is he just a kid or an adult?

    How many pills did he take? If you have 200 a month and he took just 2 it will not impact you schedule much.

    If you are telling your doctor in the hope of getting the pills replaced by him you should know that unfortunately your doctor may be suspicious. "Someone took my pills" is one of the oldest tricks in the book for pill-seekers. Some doctors will not replace pills without a police report, that may be in your contract if you have one.
  • I am very sorry this happened :(

    If your sister found them, why did she not give them back to you?

    I get 2 bottles with my pill every month. 1 bottle is much smaller and is empty but has the label on saying what pills are in it. I keep a small amount ( 3 days worth) in that smaller bottle and the "real" bottle is locked up. I refill my small bottle every 3 days.

    I do this for several reasons.

    1. I carry my pills with me and if my purse were to be stolen or lost I won't lose all my pills.

    2. I live in a rental suite that has 24 hr maintenance if needed so at times I have to have strangers in my home to do repairs and such.

    3. I just feel better knowing that most of my pills are under lock & key

    PS: Very few people that know me know what meds I take - just another way I try to avoid any issues.

    Please keep us updated on how you are doing :)

    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • I with Tam and Miss Humpty. I travel with my job and had the same concern. My PM said the meds have to be in the prescribed bottles. I keep a couple days on me and the rest in a secret place. I will be purchasing a safe in the future. I usually have my appt a week before my meds run out. plus I have leway on all of my meds. Somedays i take the larger dose and some days I can get by with the lower dose.
    Good luck,

  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,476
    ....just the theif to consider.
    Did this person..a minor I'm guessing..share it with another person(s)... minor?

    If responsible adult family members aren't responsible and care enough to risk relationship for the sake of the minor...and possibly others involved...yikes.
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • In my close-knit family, my mother and my aunt have been "enabling" a 40 year-old nephew in his maladaptive and dysfunctional behavior. It has only made the problem worse. Threats, statements such as, "the next time I catch you..." are useless. I hate to say it, but if they had let the guy fall on his butt, he might have been a productive, responsible citizen at this point. But 20 years of "helping" him by protecting him and bailing him out have only caused more pain. If he has done this to you, he has done it to others. Parents of friend's medicine cabinets in their bathrooms have surely been "surveyed" and raided if anything was found. He has bought pills from friends and/or on the street. My point, call the police. Then tell your Dr and give him a copy of the police report.
  • Correction. Yes depends how old is the nephew, if he is not young and in his 40"s. Then i would break his knee caps.

    I would never call cops if its a young kid . But lets not forget we are responsible not leting anyone have acess to our medications especialy knowing who ever comes over has a drug problem,

    No diferent then making sure kids cant get to your medication
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • I would invest in a combination safe, it might be a hassle every time you want to take your medicine but it is worth it. I have one filled with prescription medicines only. Only me and my husband know the combination. That way I do not have to constantly worry about who is visiting, because you just never know who could take some or what child could accidentally take them. It's worth the effort.
  • By the way as far as the safe goes I have become the fastest safe dialer in the west!!!!! LOL
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,476
    ..are so many perspectives.. A good reminder to me that there are individual situations.
    My son stole bunch stuff from his teacher when he was fourth grade. I'm talking lots of money and also money from library locked box. He was on a little spree at a young age.
    I told the school to have the police sitting there with us as he was caught and I felt needed a little scared straight. The cop was more than willing to have a talk with him.

    Seven years later, he put his mom up against the wall and she called 911. She hung up right away..but they call back. She reassured all okay now.
    Police came out anyway.
    Talked with son. They left. Son apologizing all over the place.."I'll never touch you again."

    LaCansada..that's what I'd do. It's just natural consequences and appropriate care for self and doctor not left to become suspicious.
    In the immortal words of that philosopher...Barney Fife.."Nip it! Nip it in the bud!" :)

    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • Barney Fife was a philosopher? Oh lord help me lol. Andyyyyyyyyyyyy
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • Hello all,
    I have never heard so many folks offering explanations as to why little Jimmy or Janey feel the need to steal, rob, burglerize and worse. its no wonder there is no sence of personal responcability in society today because parents and relatives are more than willing to cover for them. These little sneak theifs need to be in the hot sun breaking rocks chained together with their parents that are the real problem. These kids don't go bad by themselves.
    In the future just call the Police and do yourself and soceity a favor.
  • Drugs are bad mmmmm kay! 1 st drugs then rock-n-roll then comes fast cars, fast woman, The kids these days i tell ya,
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • I have a few thoughts. I understand the hesitancy to call the police but if he has done this to you twice, he's done it or is doing it to others too. I'm not so sure I would want my pain doc to know that I was that irresponsible with my meds. In todays climate, if the nephew would overdose on the meds and they found out it was from your doc, I'm sure he wouldn't be thrilled. I second getting a safe, that is the most responsible way to keep pain meds.
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