I've had back issues for years now, but recently it's been getting much worse. In the past year or so it's gone from moderate, to the point where I have to use a cane, to this now.
Had an MRI last month, have a couple of degenerating discs, one disc that is bulging halfway down the disc below it, spondylolisthesis, bony spurs and nerve impingement. I go see a neurosurgeon for a consult on the 8th, to see if there is anything they can/will do to help. best case will probably be a month or two out.
In the meantime, I'm losing it. My pain is consistently at an 8 or 9, and hits a 10 a couple of times a day. I tried to walk through the grocery store today to pick up a few things, and had to leave halfway through cause I was crying from the pain. I've had a number of nights where I've just broken down sobbing on my wife because I can't take it anymore. I can't shower without help, can't dress without help and I've been working from home because I can't sit long enough to work at the office. I can't sleep until I basically pass out from exhaustion, and then I only get an hour or two. The painkillers I have are doing me no good any more.
I feel like I am losing any sense of being a person; I'm just a giant ball of pain. I've only ever cried from pain once before as an adult, and that involved some heavy trauma combined with some big ol' kidney stones. Now i'm a crying wreck damn near every day. I don't really have any friends to talk to, and couldn't go out if I did. I feel too guilty to try and unload any more on my wife, because she already has to to way to much for me. I feel like I'm making her single parent the kids *and* me. I want to scream and cry and hit something. How do people do this? What am I supposed to do for the next couple of months?!? I wish someone could help me...