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zigazziga Posts: 143
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:58 AM in Good News
Today I will do my best to stay positive. Thanks Savage for your post that I still can heal... I don't find it now. Thanks to every body. I have been having the poorest attitude always understanding that I will not get better and with a very poor attitude. I have still 1 month and a half for the year to have a better head.

I has been very difficult to sleep. My neck is... but I will try to stop nostalgia to heal... Wow how is it that I have torture myself so much thinking I can not get better. I understand that is feel so strange. Maybe I will check with another surgeon but pleaseeeee I will definitely stay for a while in this planet and I need to feel better.

I have been very angry at me, and I feel like I don't want to forget my old me but by doing that I destroy a better me.

I need to maintain my focus.

You all try to inform me. I don't have pain meds now but I wish to try some so I can maintain a happy disposition while I get better!


  • check your scalenes .realease those and you will find relief. also the fascia on the neck

    Post Edited. Please do not instruct other members on what they need to do in terms of physical actions, treatments or steps. What might work for you in dealing with those muscles could be damaging to another person.
    It is against forum rules to provide any medical advise.
    Please make sure you keep this in mind.

    Ron DiLauro, Spine-Health System Administrator 12/08/11
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    I am sure by now, you have realized that a Positive Attitude and Outlook on our medical conditions is not always an easy task.

    No matter what any of us have been through, a month 10 years, 30 years, we all understand that we are going to have some good days and some really lousy days.

    Understanding this 'roller-coaster ride' is a subject we have discussed many times before and I am sure there will be no threads popping up about that.

    Back to the attitude. So many people can help you, show you ways, etc, but in the end it all boils down to you the individual. Its almost as if you are a student. You have your teachers providing you with information and tools, you have class mates that try to share their experiences and wisdom, you have friends that try to teach you.

    But, its you the student that has to decide on what to do with those tools and information given to them.
    Just having that isnt going to make you become a positive person with a great outlook.

    You have to decide what is really important to you.
    Any time I get down a bit (and it will happen to everyone), I start to think about what really matters to me. I write them down and go over them.
    Then I write things that I really dont care about and then those that I am sitting on the fence with.

    I churn all of that together and then come out with the final list. My Goals, What I really want!
    Once I have that done, then its pretty easy to keep positive. As long as your goals are really important to you, you will find every way to achieve them and nothing will stop you, there will not be any obstacle that you cant overcome.

    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Sometimes your perception of something will alter the shape and form of your perception.

    The shape of your attitude because of how big or how strong you may perceive the problem to be. Ime not trying to downplay your pain or you in any way, pain is personal and can be devastating. Learning to separate the mental pain from the physicality is a practice, much like meditation, i think imho. because examining and thinking about the sensation critically and without passions, fears or other emotional sensations is a hard discipline.

    Our bodies are screaming out"FIX ME" and there sometimes little or nothing to be done other than what has already been attempted,is impractical or cannot be done. Others tire of our plea for relief from this torment we live.
    if we canot fix what hurts, we tire, physically, emotionally and spritually. this triad can overwhelm, or help.
    Taking a deliberate, positive attitude, despite the pain, despite the suffering, may help, its up to you to decide what your going to do with the pain, to let it rule you, or for you to decide the pain wont rule you.
    get your attitude a dose of stubborn, a sense of strength, a fighting spirit.this will be overcome!

    the form of your perception will follow, form follows function. this will not defeat you, this will not the "Definition" of you. define yourself, then refine yourself in this hellish crucible.
    Dont ever give up
    Dont ever give in
    Dont sell yourself short, there is so much left inside to draw from.

    The outer shell that carries us may be flawed, and broken, but the ESSENTIAL YOU is intact and separate from the corporal body that carries you around. your spirit, you mind is intact and trapped inside a vessle no longer as able to dance this life.

    inside your still vital and strong. your spirit is free and separate from the physical.

    We spineys are a fierce lot, we just carry all the scars on the inside. and when they bleed, they can make us feel like were drowning.

    Here is the kicker, just reach out and someone will be reaching back, the community here is ready, willing and able to fight this good fight standing on youre right shoulder, the shield of their compassion covering you until you regain your footing. There are many here who have been there before you, and soon, unfortunately, many will follow you into the darkness, be that shining light for them, be the inspiration you are to others.

    the unknown future can be a burden, dont doubt yourself for ONE moment, you are still alive and kicking and willing to take the fight to the beast.

    Bravery takes many forms, for some, just getting out of bed it hard enough, let alone facing life with chronic pain.

    Your going to come through this a better stronger, leaner you. let go of some burdens as you go, its ok to change, its ok to be different, its ok to be sad, cause sometimes we need to get the poison out, so we can heal.

    shape the character of th fight in you, yoiu can and will beat this low time, its all right there inside you, and when you cant, find someones hand, were right here ready and will ing to go the distance with you

    Its what spineys do
    Its what you will do

    Be strong, be gentle to yourself
    PS. I hope these humble words will give you a measure of solace in your darkness.
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,476
    ... the pain and depression, you can spiral downward.

    You have lots of people here sharing so you don't have to spiral down or at least to show you there is still an "up"

    My sleeping is no good, but better since sleep study and medications. Maybe something like that could help you...??

    You seemed to say you are not on pain meds and if I remember correctly not on antidepressants. That might be something you'd want to talk with your doctor about.

    And to see a therapist who can really get to know you. You said about not wanting to leave this planet.
    Therapy can help you with perspective and help you like to reframe your thinking so it can see hope more easily.

    You have a lot going on. Nothing wrong with a little therapy til you're back on your feet.

    If you think therapy might be a good idea, please let us know how that goes for you. Best to you!
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • is doing something that's along the lines of what Ron posted here - switching mental gears from whatever is getting me down to something positive. Just a while ago I was feeling down about some short-term project that so far hasn't worked out the way I'd hoped (the tables could turn by the time it's over, which will be within the next few days). Switching gears in this case consisted of doing some online research on accommodations in a country I plan on visiting with a friend this Spring. We're really excited about our plans, so within a short time after checking out the first hotel, I started feeling much better.

    For those who aren't planning a trip, there must be something you can do do that will take your mind off whatever's bothering you - lose yourself in a good book, call a friend, etc. Something else that's worked for me is to sit down and write a gratitude list.

    If you remain "down" despite those pick-me-ups, then an antidepressant and perhaps therapy, as Savage mentioned, can help you feel better.
  • Hi... I have been sleeping better with melatonin. I have been near nature and for me that is always a healer! Wish I would have gone before surgery as my heart told me and have enjoy it at that moment... but well it is what it is. I believe by now strongly in the power of intention, not in the power of fantasy and things... but I believe to maintain focus and organized is important.

    At a moment in this process I got desperate and lost my focus, I just wanted to heal... and believe that everything I found that casually pointed out as a message taht I needed surgery I took it as a sign. Now I think it was that I was desperate and wnated to end all the drama. But I know I somatized a lot because of fear. I just know.

    And I also belief that if I would have been more focus on healing without surgery it could have happened... maybe not completely but at least the focus would have lead me to organization and to signs of healing with alternative care.

    But it already happened and I need to accept this fact. Now I need to focus on the things I want and on healing and on organizing myself.

    Sometimes I just want to shoutttttt pleaseeeeee to all of those that get obsesed with the condition be careful not becoming it... remember who you are... I think some think that some pain is like the worst... and they get scare but one have to be very careful with how we assume pain. But at least that happened to me.

    Ok aaaaa that is it! Trying to maintain positiveeeee!!!!
  • Maintaining a positive attitude is very difficult sometimes, a lot of times. My brother gets angry at me whenever I cry. I am still getting to know the things I can not do as before. Today I drove for an hour an it was extremely horrible for the whole body. Just wish I could still think that I can go to Peru and walk the machu pichu... well I guess that I may have to change the bucket list. Teaching for two hours is a challenge. Wish my brother could be a little more compasionate.

  • Maintaining a positive attitude is very difficult sometimes, a lot of times. My brother gets angry at me whenever I cry. I am still getting to know the things I can not do as before. Today I drove for an hour an it was extremely horrible for the whole body. Just wish I could still think that I can go to Peru and walk the machu pichu... well I guess that I may have to change the bucket list. Teaching for two hours is a challenge. Wish my brother could be a little more compasionate.

  • Some people just can't deal with people who are sick. My dad told me he can't stand to be around people who are sick or old-go figure.
  • Today is my birthday... Things have gone more or less...
    Working with kids and is very difficult to move around.

    I just don't understand is it jus me that feels that all my movements have been afected by this fusion, I feel so confused when I talk. I just want people to tell me I am fused and that does not happens to me...
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