Hello all. I am a spouse of a husband with chronic pain from ankylosing spondylitis. We are going through a rough time right now, and are drifting farther apart.
I don't know what to say to help him right now. I work full-time and support the family. He receives disability, and is home most of the day. Going out takes such a toll on him. I have an 11-year-old daughter from a previous marriage.
We fight over everything, it seems. He is critical, and I can't do anything right. He says I'm not being supportive, and I should encourage him to do things, but when I do, he snaps "I can't right now."
How do I best support him? I try to be positive and joyful and as uplifting as I can, but that just seems to depress him more. When I stay home to be with him, he retreats into his garage. When I go out to do things that make me happy, I feel guilty. I feel like I am wrong either way.
I'm looking for help from people dealing with chronic pain and their "well" family, as well as spouses who have figured it out. I've vowed to never leave him, but our home life is miserable. Whatever I can do, I'll do.
Thanks in advance,