Hello. I am new here and am looking for help for my husband, he's 37. He has chronic low back pain. He has four herniated discs and has had 3 surgeries. His last surgery was in 2007 and the disc was wearing on his spinal cord and almost severed it in half. However after physical therapy to help him walk again he went back to work in the landscaping field. Just this past summer he did stop working and he is trying to get on disability.
He is on valium and hydocodone for pain but they really don't help. He has tried other pain medications but they haven't really helped much either. The problem is he has turned into an alcoholic to help control the pain. He is drinking all the time, he is hiding bottles of vodka from me. He also drinks a lot of beer. His tolerance is very high so he needs more and more. He did have his liver checked last fall and it was fine, thank goodness. But he can't go on like this. I am trying to be supportive of him, I can't understand how he feels but I know he is telling the truth and that the pain is unbearable. I am working two jobs to pay the bills and I do most of the housework. I try very hard to not make him feel guilty about this. But he tells me all the time how worthless he feels. A psychologist is out of the question, every time I have suggested it he rejects it. I can't get him to go to pain management, he thinks they're a bunch of quacks. He tried a chiropractor and that helped for a while but caused another problem, the chiropractor did something to a nerve and was causing his leg to give out on him. After a MRI turned up no new problems, he stopped seeing the chiropractor and that problem has stopped.
Anyway, I am rambling on and I am sorry. I just am not sure what to do to help him. He is sinking into a depression, he tells me I should divorce him. That is the last thing I want to do. Thankfully we don't have children. And lately it is almost impossible to talk to him when he is sober enough to understand me. I am at a total loss as to what to do. Most of our friends don't want to be around him anymore because of the drinking. Neither one of us has family close by. I don't know how to convince him that he needs help. Any thoughts, suggestions? I hope it was all right to post this. Thank you.