I had an acdf on Wednesday. I have no one to help me and I'm hiring a home health aid to come in a couple of times a week. Since this was a car accident the insurance companies can fork over the money. I am so angry at the idiot that hit us because it was totally preventable-he was going too fast and in a hurry to get to his daughter's house. The accident was his fault and I am paying the price, Before this I had no problems with my neck PERIOD.
I forgot to take my pain meds today because I was angry with my Dad and had a fight-I took the padding off the collar when it got wet and had to go back to the hospital to have them show me how to get it on right. When I asked if he would take me he got snotty and said he had clothes in the dryer. He did but that attitude is what I've been dealing with since my accident. Being in pain 24/7 was not pleasant and I spent a lot of time crying which bothered him. This is not easy on me, it is not my fault and I can't help it yet he his playing the victim which is really stressing me out. He can't deal with anyone else being sick but we're supposed to baby him if he has an boo-boo
You know, I am not a bad person. I took care of my Mom for 8 years by myself with no help from him or anyone while she had alzheimers because he didn't want to-couldn't stand to be around the house with her. He finally had to after I took off in '09 because I couldn't handle the stress of being a sole caregiver. What did he do? Call me on the cell phone and say that if I didn't come back he would have to quit his job and take care of Mom. Oh, and BTW since I was gone please give him the password to MY computer so he could use it. Mom finally was placed in the NH but that was only after I told him that if she came home he would be her sole caregiver 24/7. He only had to help part time for 6 months but he loves tell everyone how WE took care of my Mom.
After 2 near nervous breakdowns during that time I think I am at least entitled to a little more compassion from him since I did something he should have been doing. But all I've gotten is a lot of flack and feeling guilty because I ask him to take me to the ER I have had no income coming in and a hard time getting a job since I've not worked for 8 years. I think that taking care of my Mom would entitle me to a little compensation from my Dad since he had to pay nothing out of his pocket those 8 years and got me for free. heck, they even managed to write me off on their taxes as a dependent because i wasn't employed. But it's always about money and how much it's going to cost when I have to see a doctor because the state's indigent program son't pay for doctor visits. With the neck it will go to the insurance company but the torn meniscus doctor visits won't.
I am going to ask the Home Health care person if there is a place I could go to recuperate because there is nothing like feeling you are a burden on someone. He goes to bed early and tells me if I need anything to knock on his door but when I do he says he is trying to go to sleep. So I am afraid to ask him for anything because of this attitude.
The whole thing has me feeling REALLY depressed. It's bad enough having to deal with physical pain without having to deal with emotional pain because someone doesn't really care and you are a burden to them.
My Mom always said he never cared about me and I used to think she was just playing sides. But after this year I think I now realize she wasn't doing that. If I get a settlement from the insurance company I am out of here and he is on his own. I'm going to go to school for accounting which is what I planned to do before this accident.