i'm just a bit bummed and think a massive hug, and perhaps maybe even a concurrent eensy weensy teeny tiny bit of chocolate, might make me feel even better. just make sure your M&Ms melt in your mouth and not on the back on my pajamas
here's the deal. i recently qualified for canada disability pension (canadian equivalent of US Social Service Disability) on my first try so that was great. i am on LTD from work also. i am having a bit more difficulty with the retirement on medical grounds. they might have an answer for me next week. and i was just thinking, which i tend to do on occasion (lol)... if i am granted retirement of medical grounds, this will create somewhat of a psychological dilemma, conundrum, paradoxical insoluble for me.
aside from dealing with chronic pain from four lumbar spine surgeries, as well as severe osteoathritis, i will then have to deal with ACCEPTING the fact that my CAREER is OVER.
i spent 13 years in university now it seems it was all for naught. a useless waste of the time, effort, sacrifice and heartache, not to mention financial commitment. i was first licensed in 2002, and have been on disability since february 2007. that's about 5 years of licensure.
further, with more than 15 years of potential years in the work force being flushed down the toilet i would then have to cope with the reality of being a pathetic blob slobbin' it on the couch watching re-runs of the brady bunch whilst eating spoonfuls of peanut butter straight out of the jar. (it's the hydromorphone ... really ....). i think the brady bunch is contraindicated with dilaudid. maybe i'll wean myself ever so slowly on to gilligan's island instead even though i've heard gilligan's island can sometimes cause explosive diarrhea.
how do i deal with a new life COMPLETELY different from what i have been living.
i just feel useless and guilty i suppose, a non-contributing member of society. ho hum ... oh bother