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Craig2011CCraig2011 Posts: 2
edited 06/11/2012 - 9:00 AM in New Member Introductions
My name is craig I have been dealing with neck pain for 4 years now. My original diagnosis was 2 bulging disks and 1 protruding disk ddd and whiplash. A year later after receiving 2 series of shots had a mri I was told I have spondylosis ( the arthritic one in case I misspelled).
I deal with daily pain and I know it is not as bad as what many of you have but I have difficulty functioning sometimes. My wife doesn't seem to understand and she has never been very supportive emotionally of what I go through. My pain is exasperated by emotional stress and my job and my wife seem to make it worse. Right now she hates me due to I have missed time at work which I have sick time for. The pain always puts me in a flight or fight mode and when it gets bad I flight. She is very frustrated by this and currently I am the only wage earner and she feels really insecure. I hope no one is offended by this but she sees me weak for giving into my pain and she becomes extremely mad when I call in or come home early. I don't know what to do and since I don't get much support I thought maybe I would come here.


  • Craig,
    Sorry to hear that you not only have pain, but have a lack of support for what you are going through. Some people have very supportive spouses, and others, well, not so much.
    The problem is, if you broke your leg, you would look "sick" - cast, pain pills, crutches, etc... But our kinds of pain are not visible to others. Only we feel it, and only we have to deal with it, no matter where it is on the body. And being stressed out only makes matters worse... no wonder you do the flight/fight thing!!! That's a real hormonal rush and if you're acting like that, you can believe, in my opinion that you are indeed under too much STRESS!!!
    So, I would try to relax as much as possible, and find out from your ortho dr., what if anything can be done to make you feel better.
    With the economy, and the lack of jobs, maybe your wife is afraid you will lose your job. But she has to understand that her stress towards you is only making things worse for you both... both emotionally and physically...
    The trick here, is to find someone who can help you or at least point you in the right direction for further care. And your wife needs to try to be able to see this for what it is, and not who you are. None of us on this site have asked for the problems we have...we just do the best we can and we don't give up!!! And don't you give up either!
    I'll be watching for further posts from you to see how you're doing! Be well!
  • Sorry to hear about your pain, but also lack of understanding. Has your doctor suggested that surgery will help? After 12 years of neck, upper back, and shoulder pain, iasked pain mgmt dr if I was a surgery candidate. He sent me to a neurosurgeon who said she could help. I had ACDF at C5/6 three weeks ago. Most of the pre surgery pain is gone. I do have muscle spasms across upper back but I believe it is surgery pain. I have a very supportive husband, he had back surgery twice about 18 hrs ago so he gets it. I hope this support on the forum helps you. I started reading people's stories on this site when I was deciding if I should go ahead with the surgery.
  • Doctors last time we really delved into didn't think I am a candidate for surgery. The more I live with this I feel they are clueless and have accepted this is just one aspect of my
    Life that sucks and always will. It feels like my life has gone completed stagnant. As
    Long as I have pain and give into it I will never be able to move in job and I am scared to get a different job since then I won't have fmla job protection. In the mean time I stay stagnant in my job and try to stay calm and carry on
  • edited by tam as spam
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