Chronic pain has got me! Had me before and now it is back.
I sucked it up for decades but then submitted to a spinal fusion. Felt relief for a few months and then a new pain began to return. That's where I am now.
My surgeon says that my fusion is a failure and I am trying real hard to not personalize that! No one wants to be described as a failure.
Here's my statement/question. I have found that chronic pain is insidious, subtle and sublime, It sneaks in and stays with us. Over time we adapt and even accept it until we lose our sensitivity to its presence. It becomes us.
Other than the daily misery of this existence, another detriment is the fact that we lose our ability to measure its pain/debilitating effect on our lives. I am there.
Yesterday morning I had been sitting in a coffee shop and stood to leave when a young lady (stranger to me) ask me if she could ask me a question. I said yes. She wanted to know if she could pray for me, and if so for what. I was humbled and told her she could pray for my health. Later in the day I was in a fast food restaurant. While standing and waiting for my order a young employee in the kitchen asked if I was OK. I told him I was (another of those consistent social lies that we tell).
Both of these situations were emotionally touching. These were strangers expressing concern for a stranger. However, both of these incidents caused me to "reassess" my current physical condition. I am back in that position of trying to decide whether or not to submit to surgery. And just as I was before, chronic pain invades our bodies in such small increments that we don't notice its effects. Others do, and that is what I am hearing on a much more frequent basis.
Thought I would share that and see if others are walking the same "bumpy/uphill" path.