Made an appointment with my PCP for last Friday to discuss pain meds and getting a sturdier walker. I was not able to go because I was in too much pain and neither my husband nor I were capable of driving. She is on vacation next week. She had called in a prescription for me last week. I am beginning to think that I could have injured myself more with my fall after surgery. The pain is just horrible. I feel like someone whacked me in the back with a 2x4. I still can't even stand up straight, balance is still bad and I definitely need more support than a cane to walk. The secretary asked my surgeon's office if they could call in the order for the walker. My surgeon's office called and said they needed to see me before they would submit the order. I haven't had a choice but to increase the Vicodin by 2 and I will tell the surgeon. I have an appointment next week.
My husband is going to the Podiatrist in the morning. I really don't have much doubt that his leg is gone. The foot is definitely gone. The ulcer is down to the bone and getting worse. I am seeing him deteriorate more every day. He can't walk either.
Now,it's up to me to work on getting myself better, take care of my husband, house cleaning, shopping, laundry, drive myself and him to Dr. appointments. Straighten out the housing situation. He doesn't want to move and neither do I. I have to be honest with myself that if I fall down the stairs again, I might never walk again. We have run out of options.
I don't want to wake up tomorrow and I don't have choice. I have been sleeping most of the day because I can't handle getting out of bed. I want the world to go away and it won't. I can't isolate forever. I am so scared to face each new day.