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Tired of being in pain....don't want to go on like this anymore!

shelli8871sshelli8871 Posts: 17
edited 06/11/2012 - 9:01 AM in Chronic Pain
Hello everyone my name is Michelle, in 2008 I injured my back I have a herniated disc a bulging disc and an annular tear in l4 l5, I now have chronic nerve damage in both legs, but my left side is worse, I cant remember the last time I have actually slept..I went to bed at midnight last night and was awake again at 3, so I only got 2 1/2 hrs of sleep. I take ambiem, tramadol, tizanadine, neurotin, and celebrex. I am in pain every single day and am getting severely depressed! And to top it off I was injured in a car accident one year ago and suffer from whiplash which I am trying to get treated for, and its been a hassle with the insurance company...with the whiplash I have from migraines as well. I am so tired of being in pain, I don't want to go anywhere, or do any thing and seem to cry quite easily, I don't look forward to anything anymore, and what really sucks it that I was recently married and I don't want this to affect my relationship! My hubby is really understanding but doesn't fully understand what I am going through or how I feel, no one does! I am going to go see my primary care dr today and maybe he can help! But I don't have high hopes!!


  • Shelli-

    My heart aches for you!!! I have a couple of suggestions:

    1) Consult an attorney about your car accident. He or she will make the insurance company less of a hassle for you to deal with.

    2) Consider having a lumbar epidural steroid injection. I have had a few and they work wonders.

    I am so sorry for your pain and will pray that things get better for you.
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,476
    First off, congratulations on your recent marriage! It is great your husband is understanding..but I know my situation..I myself have difficult time understanding ME sometimes..and I'm living it.

    There are a couple of "letters" here on this site somewhere. You could use "search" if you're interested.

    One is "A letter to Normals". I changed the wording to better match my personality, and that letter helped a few of my people better understand.

    There is also a letter"The Spoon Theory". I had most success with that one! :) Some of my friends now use the lingo...like they call, ask about my day and if I have any "spoons" left to go get some dinneer...or anything like that. When I first started hearing that, I felt so blessed..you know.. that anyone would even try to understand and enter my world of hurt.

    Another thing I've done is give all my people and esp. loved ones most close to me...gave them permission and encourage them to talk with other people about THEIR life is like with MY pain. I never want them to feel alone in it and I don't want to minimize what they are going through, also.

    It's not unusual for us with the pain to get depressed and I do see a psychiatrist and on antidepressants and therapist for talk therapy. For me it's priceless to get those "reality checks".

    Hopefully you are seeing a pain management doctor. After having a sleep study that my pain doc ordered..doc put me on some med for sleep. It's not like I have obvious movements during sleep...but something and med does help...although the usual is better but with guarenteed two nights/wk wide awake..tired not sleepy.

    So glad you posted as you know we all understand. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. :)
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • I am so glad you found this wonderful group. I am so sorry that you had to. I hope you follow the advise that Savage gave you. The letters are wonderful, and you should be seeing a specialist for your pain and find a good attorney. I still fight depression, and my accident was on 7/3/03. I was really depressed for a few years after my first few surgeries. I also cried so much of the time. I have to really fight the urge to go into depression now. I realize that people, for the most part, aren't going to understand how bad my pain is, and how constant.
    Congratulations on your marriage! If your husband is willing, let him read some of the posts on here that you think apply to you. Sometimes if other people realize that you aren't the only one that is feeling the way you do, they will understand your pain and depression better.
  • Thank You for your PM. Great ideas there. I hear you on the depression, I only seem to get it in the spring during the rainy weather but it is ungodly. I feel for anyone who lives with chronic depression constantly - that has got to be horrible.
    My SIL has a big issue with it, when he was younger he tried to off himself and luckily F'ed it up because my daughter is lucky to have him - he is an amazing husband and father but still struggles. I talk to him a lot and he tells me I just gotta push through it, push through it, that kid is amazing.
    I think we all need to do what T-Bair says: Just keep pushing thru it as best we can. We never asked for this BS. It is a pisser to lose all the things you love. One would think people would see that you have given up all the things you love to do in life because of pain - but they don't. I didn't give up doing the most magical thing in my life- riding my gorgeious black stallion in the mountains because I ever wanted too. I can't even type about it without getting teary eyed -it is heartbreaking. How can people not see how we have changed? How we are alone, hurting, but struggling to push thru it and do what we must? I don't want to work everyday but if I want to keep my house, horse and stuff - I have too. It's killing me, but I push thru it and do it. All the fun is gone, nobody see's tho - only people here - on this page.
  • I suffered from migraines for 2.5 years after a whiplash injury & had no help whatsoever from doctors & consultants.In fact I got the impression they thought it was just another women with a head ache. I was told to go home & relax. Excuse me I am self employed with a family to support.After been given the runner round for 2.5 years in desperation I went to see an acupuncturist .Within 15 mins of walking through the door she had identified extreme tightness in the muscles of the upper back,shoulder & neck....which I have to say I hadn't really noticed.LOL.She explained that these muscles were constricting the blood supply to the head & giving me the migraines. The migraines started to become less intense from the first session.It took about 10 sessions to loosen everything up & then another year of a session every so often before the migraines vanished completely.

    So you never know ... my story may help ?

  • I have had epidural injections,and they havent worked in the past, but am going to try them again, I have a new pain management Dr that my pain management dr referred me to and he wants to start from scratch, he says I am a complex case..lol! I am hoping things get better but it has already been over 3 years, I cant remember the last time I have slept. I have an attorney for the car accident but the IME Dr has put a stop to treatments but going to have my own insurance open the case back up! Its a never ending battle!
  • Thanks Ollie for the feedback, I went through 7 sessions of acupuncture but I didnt get any relief, maybe it was the person I went to, but it didnt seem to help at all...I wish it had!!! So sick of feeling like crap!
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