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Has anyone ever been yelled at my pain specialist?

julie2013jjulie2013 Posts: 1
edited 06/11/2012 - 9:01 AM in Pain Management
I'm still in shock, I know it was meant to intimidate me. The center has really bad reviews, but I hadn't read them (kinda wish I had). I have almost every time left there so depressed, in tears, and on a few occasions had the scary nurse that was very bullying. Every time they meet with me, they go over everything, and they act as though they are scrutinizing everything as though I am lying, even though my urine tests always come back telling them exactly what I am saying, which I guess is the reason that I am still in the program. I told my spouse I think that they are told to make a face like they don't believe you, and make you feel like they are going to catch you in a lie, and even though I'm not lying, I always feel like I've done something wrong. So one day, I somehow came across reviews and was amazed. Almost all of the reviews were so bad, and almost all of them were saying that they would leave there in tears, sit in their car crying for awhile before they could drive home, and felt like criminals instead of a chronic pain patient treated with any kind of respect. The details were amazing, it was as though I could have written them, all of these reviewers were in pain physically, and after leaving the center, emotionally too! So the last time I was there, the scarier nurse came in and told me she'd been reading reviews online and asked me if I wrote one, and told me she was convinced I wrote one. I was shocked, and asked her if she was asking all the patients. I told her I felt like I was being attacked, and harassed, and that I didn't feel comfortable anymore. She asked me if I was happy with the "care" from the center, and of course I felt really intimidated, and told her things had been okay. But I also told her that at that moment, I felt really unhappy and wanted to leave. She told me I couldn't leave yet, then printed something out and handed it to me. I briefly looked at it, it was from a review site. She told me we were going to talk about it. I told her I didn't want to because I felt like she was just trying to upset me, and that if I was going to write a review then, I would write that I was really unhappy that I was being forced to tell her if I wrote a review or not. She told me if I didn't like it, then to take my business elsewhere, go find somewhere else to treat you. I was, and still feel, so in shock. I don't and maybe won't ever feel comfortable if I want to write a review. I know when I read reviews that I need to read cautiously, and that some may be written by the "seller" and some may be reviews that aren't just. But then there are some that you need to decide if they are true or not, and I have always read through, and trusted a lot of them when buying things, or using services (wish I had read them before going to this one!!!) I now feel like I can't write one while going because I may be forced to tell them if I did write one or not. They hadn't had me sign a gag order when I started there, but I do feel like they were trying to get me to tell them yes or no, and she was forcing me to tell her and that I couldn't leave until I told her if I did, and I wonder how many patients they are doing that to, and if they plan on hitting patients with libel, slander, or whatever (I read a doctor sued a patient who reviewed him). Either way, I never left there happy, always felt demoralized, was told I had to take all of my pain meds each day, and if it wasn't in my urine, I would be in trouble. I asked if I had less pain, could I take less, because I was worried about becoming physically dependent. They told me I had to take them all. So now I find myself stuck, in extreme pain because it's never truly been cared for, and have been on medication for so long, to make a new appointment (I have been calling around, and all the pain centers tell me they do not write prescriptions, only do injections, and I don't know how to find one that will either continue the pain meds, or help to come off of them, I don't know what to do!) My parents told me absolutely not to go back, and were so furious that I was treated like that. But they don't know how hard it is to find a treatment center that won't treat you like an abuser, but treat you like a human being in chronic pain. I am so depressed about all of this, I don't know how to get through each day, making more phone calls, terrified I will have to go back there because I am in so much pain, but terrified of having to see those pain "care" specialists again! I worry as I write this that they read this web site, and figure they probably do, so too scared to say too much. Is there anyone else that's been through something similar? Does anyone know how to deal with something like this? My husband was talking about patient advocacy. I feel so lost, in so much more pain recently, and feel stuck, and so scared! I would love to hear from anyone who can relate!


  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,427
    ...doc but several years ago my primary "fired"me because despite the treatment given to me, I wasn't getting better.

    But that no where as drastic as what you are going through.

    Not sure where you live, but would your primary doc be able to recommend another pain doc?

    I would not want to go back to your doctor. All this intimidation going on while you are using all your strength to feel better and not let pain out of control.

    Or maybe the hospitals in the area have a list of options for other pain docs. Good luck with your search and please let us know how you are doing.

    In the meantime, your situation is extreme, but you're not alone.
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • Hi julie2013,

    I am so very sorry about what you have had to go through X( . Absolutely no reason for it under any circumstances. You are NOT obligated to do or write anything for that medical practice you don't want to !!! Is the doctor at this location aware that this crap is going on? Is it his entire nurse assisting staff or just one in particular?

    Keeping this short because I am about to explode reading your post, my suggestion would be find yourself another pain management physician. As Savage suggested, check with your Family Doc & let him/her know what's going on and that you could use some help finding a different pain doc ... then run as far away from that other place as you can get.

    I am afraid if I were in your shoes, someone would be missing some front teeth ... so much as calling me a liar, telling me what and when to do it regarding my meds, or just general bad attitude. As you can tell, I don't take kindly to people like this. One thing to sit and discuss it, but quite another to leave there everytime so upset you can't even drive home. I guess I am very fortunate. My Pain Management people work WITH me not against me.

    Okay, I have ranted on here enough. I just want you to get YOU in a happier and more positve helpful place so you can REALLY concentrate on relieving that pain. Sorry for the outburst. Keep us posted on how you are doing and what you decide to do. Stay strong. We are here for you >:D< .

    Rassy's Story
    Under House Arrest Without the Ankle Bracelet :-)
    The remarks I make are strictly my own based on my personal experiences.
  • Nobody has the right to intimidate anybody.

    Never go alone, bring your spouse with you.

    Bully's are afraid of the truth, and two people = two people witnessing it, or it stopping.

    Try that till you can find a new place... and I would start looking at once.

    Good luck :-)
    Jun 2011 -TLIF @L5-S1
    Mar 2012 -NonUnion @L5S1
    May 2012 -Multi Level Discography
    July 2012 -XLIF 2Cages @L3L4/L4L5
    Aug 2012 -All New Hardware @L34L45/L4L5/L5S1
    Mar 2013 -FBSS = Pain Management until they figure it out.
  • Short and to the point. Nicely put doubleusn =D> . Git 'er done! We are all here for you and to support you.

    Rassy's Story
    Under House Arrest Without the Ankle Bracelet :-)
    The remarks I make are strictly my own based on my personal experiences.
  • Thanks :-)

    BTW ...I like your house arrest haha in your sig.

    When people call and ask if I'll be home, I always say "Yes, my triathalon was cancelled that day" ;-)
    Jun 2011 -TLIF @L5-S1
    Mar 2012 -NonUnion @L5S1
    May 2012 -Multi Level Discography
    July 2012 -XLIF 2Cages @L3L4/L4L5
    Aug 2012 -All New Hardware @L34L45/L4L5/L5S1
    Mar 2013 -FBSS = Pain Management until they figure it out.
  • As one Julie to another, I urge you to leave this doctor and program ASAP.

    You are clearly in a situation of major pain, and you are allowing your pain to be compounded each and every time you set foot in this doctor's office.

    Life is too short to endure or tolerate medical professionals who are donkeys. There are several ways to find anotuher pain management doctor. Call your local hospital and ask for phyisician referral, talk to your primary care doctor, or look on this website.

    I also suggest you file a complaint about this nurse to your state medical review board. In my state, it is called the Department of Professional Responsibility.

    There are so many compassionate, empathetic doctors out there that I hope and pray you will be able to find one.

    Good luck
  • I agree, file a complaint. They are using tactics that are or should be illegal (although I don't know where you live so I am not sure). If you are in the US, there should be a state department to complain to and this facility should be investigated for using tactics of intimidation. You DO have patient rights.

    Do you have a primary care doctor? If you do have one that you trust, I would take this to him/her as well. Tell them what happened, ask them to help you find someone else, ask them if they are comfortable with short term management of your meds until you find someone to manage your pain issue. I would not go back to that doctor's office alone, ever! Bring 1 or 2 people with you. Bring your parents. Hopefully you won't even have to go back there though. You should know that what they are doing is not okay, you do not deserve it and they should be shut down. Nobody deserves to be treated that way!

    What I don't get, is what are they getting out of it? Maybe its a control thing, they like to control people or something.
  • My PM clinic requires that we have PCP. If I had your problem I would immediately go to either my Pcp or my NS and asked to be reffered to a humane PM.

    You should be allowed to collect your full medical records. expect to pay dearly (these creeps will try to screw you I'm sure). Get those records quick as you can. Hold your head up high. You have done nothing wrong. It will be much easier to transition if you have you records.

    Hang in there.

    Julie A ( the original old timer ) >:D<
  • >:D< I agree, make sure you get your medical records. Like she said, it will be easier to transition but be prepared for what you will read in there. You will probably see some character assasination. I think its terrible with doctors or other medical personnel does that but I see stuff written in there all the time. I always do my notes with the thought that someday the patient may read it so I don't write anything that I wouldn't tell the patient myself. Judgement about character does not belong in there so hopefully they have not done that but just be prepared. There really are a lot of good doctors out there. You may have to drive a bit but it will be worth it. I feel it is absolutely essential to have someone you trust taking care of your pain management needs! Good luck >:D<
  • I had a similar experience, not with the web site but where the PM said I had committed a felony. After many days of anger I finally sat down, wrote a letter firing the Dr. I got an immediate appointment with my PCP and gave him a copy of my records and the letter I had sent. My PCP has been my PM Dr every since, for over a year now.
    I agree with everyone else, report their abuse, it's the only way to ensure that the next person may be treated better.
    laminectomy c4/c5 2008, ACDF c4-c7 Jan 20 2014 sched
  • FWIW, I request personal copies of everything.

    MRIs, CTs, Records, OR Notes, everything.

    They have all been converted to digital files and can be pulled up on my iPad (works on a laptop also) as PDFs or in OSiriX for images (shareware copy avail).

    Makes life a ton eaiser to have quick access to them for any new docs you may see or if you need to review and possibly amend anything that may not be accurate in them.

    I treat my condition as just that, my condition, and I have everything ready, previously reviewed, understood and with me at every appt.

    You would be surprised how handy they can be.

    That and I think I get taken more serious by providers as a result of this. They know I have done my homework, that I am serious, and will question things respectfully for clarity if need be

    It also saves valuable time not having to re-review at each visit.

    I would ask for a full record dump, and send anything inaccurate to them that explains why, via certified letter, asking for them to be amended with your feedback, and that new copies be made avail to you as soon as possible.

    I have found being overly prepared knocks down problem doctors a peg or two, and that good doctors very much appreciate the preparedness as it shows you respect their time.

    Good luck :-)
    Jun 2011 -TLIF @L5-S1
    Mar 2012 -NonUnion @L5S1
    May 2012 -Multi Level Discography
    July 2012 -XLIF 2Cages @L3L4/L4L5
    Aug 2012 -All New Hardware @L34L45/L4L5/L5S1
    Mar 2013 -FBSS = Pain Management until they figure it out.
  • Doubleusn what app do you use to keep all your records handy? I am exactly this type of person and keep my files scanned in and stored on my local network but would love to keep copies handy on my ipad2!

    Grade 4 tear in l4/l5 was missed in first MRI so did injections for a year
    SI joints "messed up" not sure if I will get them fused at a later time
    Had Open PLIF L4/L5 5/28/13
    Woke up to permanent nerve damage in legs and feet.
  • What site reviews Drs and Clinics anyway?
    C3-4-5 fusion 2005
    C-5-T-1 disk bulged
    L-4-5 bulge to the right, with Microdiscectomy, failed
    L5- Bi-Lateral bulge
    Pain in right foot -loss of feeling
    Left butt, hip and front thigh pain with bad shooting pain into inside ankle sometimes
  • I really can see where your comeing from I was acccused of faking an mri in er. once,wow1 How the heck you do that then it went on and on with comments about me looking for drugs,etc. nobody cared about my back problem and why I was there.
    I started getting a copy of all my reports and they sure were different from what was said in the room. SO, I started taking a tape recorder with me and record the sesseion, I even proved one dr. lying in a work comp, hearing it worked for me.
  • I dont think these Dr's realise how powerful the internet is these days. If his office and staff provided good service then they would not have to worry about canvassing the internet review sites.
    I was told by a critical care ICU nurse with over 20yrs service that no Dr has the right to be so humiliating to his patient
    and it is your right to speak up and under no circumstances let them bully you, I had the same thing happen to me and I was so astonished and just plain floored by this Dr's arrogant stance and attitude I was not able to even speak!
    There is the medical board and I suggest anyone getting poor treatment or neglect from their Dr to report it at once.
    They can and will be investigated and the bad ones can even be fined or their license revoked or suspended for numerous violations, if people speak up and report this Dr numerous times something will happen........write a letter.....let the heat be on him. I think if you let off some steam to an official it will help you too, just to know something might happen to him.
    Liebel or slander is not that if you are telling the truth
  • backache99backache99 Posts: 1,338
    edited 02/05/2013 - 10:08 PM
    and in all good faith he thought he was doing the right thing .the person he sent me to was the biggest 84574Rd going .first he did not believe me that i was in pain and dismissed my back pain {i had already had one operation and was due another at that time } i was in a lot of pain and genuinely went there for help .i took my wife who is a health professional herself .she was shocked at this persons almost hate of me we walked out after a massive screaming match with this idiot who told me i was a drug seeker and did not need any more spinal surgery week later i had emergency surgery on my spin and i have since had ALIF and i am now classed as intractable pain {the worst kind of pain with the exception of terminal}.so he was very wrong ..we went to my family doctors straight for the hospital and he apologised and now he looks after my pain killer requirements .you will be happy to know that the idiot has been struck off !!
    1997 laminectomy
    2007 repeat laminectomy and discectomy L4/L5
    2011 ALIF {L4/L5/S1}
    2012 ? bowel problems .still under investigation
    2014 bladder operation may 19th 2014
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