Haven't been here in awhile. Moved in August to a smaller house to accomodate my disability so I've been really bizzy. Anyway, I went off the vicodin once again to see If I can manage but yet again I can't. Been off since March and not doing well. Pain is constant and have tried everything to control it without the meds. If thats not enough my daughter who is 17 may be bi-polar, have had 4 manic-like episodes in last 2 years and last week was a doosy!!! Spent two hours at doctors office sitting in a hard chair crying my eyes out because I think they're going to admit her to a hospital. Luckly they didn't. Do you ever feel like you yourself are going crazy? This chronic pain is sucking the life out of me and how am I suppose to take care of my daughter when I'm broken myself?
Do you ever feel like your all alone? My husband hates me being on the meds and we argue a lot on the subject. I don't understand him because Im not addicted to the vicodin I need it to fuction!! If I take it I can lead a somewhat normal life. If I don't Im on the couch all day crying because my back and legs hurt. Having to plan each day in advance is driving me crazy. Today I'll go to the store, tomorrow rest, next day do the laundry, tomorrow rest. Play with the kids, fall down, rest for days AH!!! I get so tired of the arguing!Sometimes I ask God to give me one day to switch with my husband so he can experience exactly what I go through in a day. Then just maybe he'd shut up!!!
Do you ever feel like this? Do you ever think that maybe your better off just keeping all your feelings inside and putting a smile on your face so others are happy even though your pain is killing you inside? Sorry for the rant, typing through tears, thanks for listening.