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Pain and Grief

ldavis2333lldavis2333 Posts: 108
edited 06/11/2012 - 9:02 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
I called to reschedule with the Physiatrist and got a message today that I need to call the office. There is a message waiting for me. I hope it's not more hoops. I need to get this situation straightened out with my meds. Knowing the results of the MRI, I am hoping for the best. It looks like surgery is inevitable.

The pain has gotten worse. Rest doesn't help much. I have to take care of myself now. I try to pace myself. I definitely need the little pain medication I have.

I miss my husband terribly. The house is so quiet. Came home to a letter from the Sheriff taped to my door regarding the foreclosure. Next day the death certificate. The hits just keep coming. Living in fear of what's going to happen next.


  • i am so sorry to hear about your life right about now. so sorry. i hope you have some other family and friends you can lean on right now. sending you a cyber hug >:D<
  • Family and friends on both sides are keeping me going. I have to keep going for my daughter. She is a gift from God, my sister too. I am just beginning to see how isolated I have been.

    I was awake most of the night in pain. Gardening is something we loved to do together. I tried to loosen up the dirt on Saturday. No bending, using just my legs and a shovel. Since the failed Laminectomy in Jan., my back feels very unstable. I am not looking forward to seeing the Physiatrist about the new MRI.

    Just taking care of myself every day is hard. Paul literally took care of me. I was spending most of my time in bed. I was sleeping too much. He kept me going. The quiet is deafening.
  • Very sorry for your loss, Death in the family and spine complications can be very overwhelming dealing with multiple issues, All you can do is take it day to day and focus on yourself and your health,

    Thats all i been doing myself after my fathers death and rest of my family aint worth a crap, It is good that you have some family suport and there help,

    Best wishes and stay strong,
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • ldavis2333lldavis2333 Posts: 108
    edited 01/24/2013 - 12:05 PM
    Today is the 1 year anniversary of Laminectomy. I have been away for a long time. My life has changed dramatically since I last posted. I moved the week before Christmas. I am now in Elderly/Disabled Housing. The past year has been nothing short of a nightmare.

    Since moving, I have finally been able to calm down somewhat. I love my new home and am very grateful to have it. The move was just horrifying. I won't go into the details other than the living conditions I was in were inhumane. I am now on one floor. I no longer have to fear falling down the stairs. I have a new and fully functioning bathroom without a huge, rotted and mouse infested floor. There is less space and much easier to take care of.

    I am still coping with the death of my husband. I miss him terribly and the quiet is deafening. Fortunately, I am better able to cope with it since moving. I don't have the images in my mind and face constantly, I have accepted the fact that he would not have survived the move or if he did he would have been miserable.

    I do believe that my back is stable at this point. I have been in PM for several months and it is working out well. I have been on the same dose of Vicodin for several months. I would not have been able to get through all of this without it. I am much more active now because I have to be and mentally and physically I am doing better. I know the fall down the stairs two weeks post surgery set me back a bit. I think I went into surgery with high expectations. I understand now that it is one year that it was very normal for me to be in that much pain. I found the lumbar Laminectomy was a more painful recovery than the fusion.

    I am still in pain and working through it I began to notice increased pain on the right side and it was not getting better. I couldn't even touch my right hip. I saw the PM Dr. on Monday and she said I have bursitis and gout in the hip and it is quite painful. She gave me a shot of Cortisone. I am just relieved it is not surgical. I am curious if other members here have had other conditions like these after having a long history of DDD.

    All in all, I did want to visit to let folks know that I am doing better. I appreciate the support I have received here and will check back later or sooner if need be.
  • To hear from you. I have thought about you this past year and wondered how you were doing. Glad to hear that you are settled in your new home. You have been through so much this past year.Good thoughts and prayers sent your way.
    >:D< >:-D< : Karen
    L3-S1 herniation and bulges, stenosis, mod facet,ddd,impinged nerves,coccydinia
    discectomy/lami July 2011-unsuccessful
    adr L5-S1 Feb 2012
  • I am happy to hear from you & even happier to hear that life is settling down and your new normal is starting to be okay with you :)
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
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