My boyfriend and I are both 29 years old, been dating for 10 years and he has had chronic lower back pain for about 14 years. This past year has been the worst year in regards to our relationship and his back pain and I don't know what to do. He is a wonderful guy and my best friend but he has changed, for the worse, and I'm thinking about leaving the relationship.
A while back, he was prescribed pain medication from his previous doctor, he never abused it, he took it how it was prescribed. Even though he followed the doctor's orders, his personality changed and we would fight a lot.
We recently moved, he didn't get along with his new doctor plus he acknowledge how the medication was changing him so he stop all medication and has also given up on finding a new doctor.
He is currently not working because of his back pain and doesn't help around the house (he states that its hurts too much.) So I must work and also maintain the household which sometimes can be a lot for me. Most of his days are spent watching tv and on the internet. He does not get out and socialize, when I first met him he was very sociable.
I have tried to get him to go back to the doctor, have him help me out with simple things around the house, go see a psychologist for his obvious signs of depression and other mental damage his chronic pain is causing him. I've tried motivating him to loose weight by suggesting we go to the gym and ride the stationary bike, pool, and eat healthier together. I've suggested Physical Therapy, Vocation Rehabilitation job services, go on walks and the list goes on. He isn't making an effort in anything and it's making me miserable.
At this point I really want to throw in the towel but I love him so much. I am the only support he has and if I leave I would feel guilty if he only gets worse not better. But at the same time I feel like I am enabling him not to change.
Myself and other people without chronic pain, can never understand how debilitating chronic pain can be and that is why I am asking this forum for advice.