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Silently Crying

j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
edited 06/11/2012 - 9:03 AM in Chronic Pain
I'm about a week past the 7 mo. mark on this last surgery #8 in 9 yrs. A two levele fusion and a open Laminectomy on 3 levels previously fused.
So with 7 prior surgeries, I've gone through all of the emotions to the point of acceptance many times.
This has been a rough long recovery that should last 18 mos. or more.
The open laminectomy was supposed to be an exploratory surgery and to address what ever he found to be wrong.
But I knew nothing about an open lamenectomy until long after it was a done deal. And I recovered enough to read up on it.
Anyway after this 7 mos. The pains were a trade off so far. And I had such higher expectations. He never promised me much with my history. But he said we might get 5 to 30% better with that much less pain also.
This has been such a long time already (with a long way to go) with unbelievable pain. I've had a 3 level 360 anterior posterior with my own donor bone from my hip. And I thought surely that was the most painful, invasive surgery there could be.....WRONG!!! Not even close!
But the one thing I haven't had post surgery was the twinge with a large knife thrust deep into my back when I move wrong. That is until yesterday. And again today.
I'm on a scary maximum amount of meds. But they don't even come close to touching it. So I try to wear a happy face, while I'm silently crying.
Click my name to see my Medical history
You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!


  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    I haven't been around SH in awhile and hoped to read you were much better. I'm sorry to hear things are still so rough. Are you through with PT yet? I hope so since last time we talked it was only causing you more pain.

    Wish I could help you through this my friend. I can only imagine what you're going through since I haven't been there myself. I wish you less pain...if only that could help you. >:D<

    Take care,
  • Jim you are strong inside and you know it will take time, many here live in that level of pain and we learn something about who and what we are at times like this. I have no words to make it go away, only the understanding of how it feels every and most nights.

    I as you need skills I do not have and work everyday to cope with my own condition, I do a good job and hide from myself if required.

    Take care, my thoughts are with you at this time and together we help others as we must to help ourselves

    I will live my life the best I can, chin up Jim, every day it will get better. John UK, The Queen says hello.
  • I don't have any words of hope to give you, but I just wanted you to know that I care. Sorry for the pain and frustration you have. It is so difficult to not know what tomorrow will bring.

    You are a trooper and have given all of us advice on how to deal with so much pain for so very long. In fact, you say it well in your quote of Sternbach in your signature line. Hang in there Jim.
    [quote=] Pain is inevitable, misery is optional.

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • i too know the pain of an open laminectomy i had mine before the fusion ..but pain is pain ...right ! .sorry your feeling so bad .i wish i could offer some advice ..but as i am in the same boat the only thing we can do is row together !
    1997 laminectomy
    2007 repeat laminectomy and discectomy L4/L5
    2011 ALIF {L4/L5/S1}
    2012 ? bowel problems .still under investigation
    2014 bladder operation may 19th 2014
  • So sorry to hear of the pain you are in. Just wanted to stop by to say hello and let you now there are many of us thinking of you and hoping for a reduction in your pain.

    Take care.

  • Thoughts and prayers are coming your way my friend. Pain truly sucks, I wish I could take it all away for you brother. Chad
  • I had to drop in to "ditto" the above comments and give you a soft cyber hug! Thinking of you!
  • Just wondering if you were still going to PT and if that would somehow help with the pain?

    I haven't had surgery but still have chronic pain everyday and now seeing a Personal Trainer/ Kinesologist and PT and Massage therapy trying to fight all the way! I also switched to Fentanyl patch for better pain relief also.

    I know the nerves take a long time to heal after surgery and hope you will heal more with time. Sending up a prayer for you. One day at a time. I know you're only 1/3 through the time the Surgeon says you will do better. Hugs. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
    Your goods vibes that you all have been sending me have paid off. I feeling much better today. and I think If I take it easy here for 1 more day I might get past this pain flair.
    So a BIG THANK YOU to all.
    Charry, yes I've did 6 weeks of p.t. and the insurance ok'd 3 more weeks. Although I called and rescheduled yesterday.
    My P.M. thought it was too early to start it. But my fusion was better than 60%. And my surgeon wanted to start right away. I'm not very impressed with this facility. But I see my Surgeon on Mon. I guess I figured the time wrong. It's been 6 mo. not 7 mo. But I have a lot of questions for him. And he'll take X Rays at this 6 mo. appoint. I just have a feeling there might be something wrong. My progress just seems to be too slow to me.
    Thanks again, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • So very happy to read this flair may be over with!! Flare up pain is pure he%% and nothing seems to touch it. I hope and prey this is your last one.

    You have always been a great support to all of us.....thank you for that Jim. Like our friend John said.....you are strong and will pull through this. It WILL get better and we will have our friend Jim back!!

    Patsy W
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