A lot has changed since I herniated a disk and sent a fragment AWOL in my spine. I have numbness along the L5 dermatome on the left (calf, ankle, foot, big toe), I have intermittent pain, muscle spasms, weakness, and a foot drop.
The one thing I wish I could have back most, though, is my sense of strength and peace of mind. I feel so fragile all the time...like any swift movement will cause pain or another injury. I'm told to walk and move with care and to pay attention to any changes in sensation or function. Well, I'm doing just that. I spend my days paying attention to sensations and wondering if each new sensation is a sign that it is getting worse.
For example, since last night, I've had a warming sensation on the inside of my RIGHT foot, which is (a) a new sensation and (b) the opposite side of where most of my symptoms are. The warming was every 5 minutes or so and lasted maybe 10 seconds each time. Very bizarre!
Plus, I'm feel some new slight numbness in the top of my thigh and in my saddle area. It is SO slight, though, that I can't help but wonder if it is just psychosomatic, because I'm so paranoid.
I've had 6 physicians question me about my injury since it happened just 2 months ago. Each one (plus all the PTs) asks, "Have your symptoms worsened at all?" Some of them add in the "yet" word at the end.
I feel like I'm just waiting for it to worsen, and I can't seem to pull myself out of that mindset.
Of course, it doesn't help that this is a work comp issue in appeals. I'm afraid to go outside and try to walk to the mailbox or go to a baseball game, because someone might snap a picture and use it against me. I'm not faking, and I'm so tired of just waiting for treatment...waiting to get worse. KWIM?