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Post injury paranoia, anyone?

NotGivingUpNNotGivingUp Posts: 33
A lot has changed since I herniated a disk and sent a fragment AWOL in my spine. I have numbness along the L5 dermatome on the left (calf, ankle, foot, big toe), I have intermittent pain, muscle spasms, weakness, and a foot drop.

The one thing I wish I could have back most, though, is my sense of strength and peace of mind. I feel so fragile all the time...like any swift movement will cause pain or another injury. I'm told to walk and move with care and to pay attention to any changes in sensation or function. Well, I'm doing just that. I spend my days paying attention to sensations and wondering if each new sensation is a sign that it is getting worse.

For example, since last night, I've had a warming sensation on the inside of my RIGHT foot, which is (a) a new sensation and (b) the opposite side of where most of my symptoms are. The warming was every 5 minutes or so and lasted maybe 10 seconds each time. Very bizarre!

Plus, I'm feel some new slight numbness in the top of my thigh and in my saddle area. It is SO slight, though, that I can't help but wonder if it is just psychosomatic, because I'm so paranoid.

I've had 6 physicians question me about my injury since it happened just 2 months ago. Each one (plus all the PTs) asks, "Have your symptoms worsened at all?" Some of them add in the "yet" word at the end.

I feel like I'm just waiting for it to worsen, and I can't seem to pull myself out of that mindset.

Of course, it doesn't help that this is a work comp issue in appeals. I'm afraid to go outside and try to walk to the mailbox or go to a baseball game, because someone might snap a picture and use it against me. I'm not faking, and I'm so tired of just waiting for treatment...waiting to get worse. KWIM?
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Comments

  • Hey there.. firstly, what is the KWIM? at the end of your post mean... It is stumping me!!!
    Now... I like your name here.. notgivingup! that says it all. When I feel so overwhelmed, afraid to move about for the pains etc... and just so darn brain tired from thinking so much to move simply... I do feel for ya.
    I also have funky numbness./tingles/pains/warm and cold sensations in feet/toes. No rhyme or reason to most of it.. but I do keep a journal of my symptoms. Over time, this has helped me greatly understand what does and doesn't help me. (example, hot baths.. I love them.. but the next day, my back is tighter than a siezed bolt and nut~! Without my journal,it would have taken me alot longer to see the connections. Sometimes I find it is simple things.. like sitting too far back on my recliner makes my left foot do it's funky stuff....so I know I have too much compression in that position. then, I try to remember that! lol.. easier said than done some days.
    I try to learn something new everyday that can help me 'deal', weather physically or emotionally or mentally.
    I also keep track of the exercises I do do, the routine I try to keep on. As scary as it can be sometimes... I found NOT bracing for the pain has helped. Distractions help... CBT has helped me, (cognitive behaviour therapy). I found books to learn.
    You have found the right site for a fountain of info and support!
    Cheers!
    Sally
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