If only my husband could feel the pain I feel constantly...
The past few days he has treated my like I'm being selfish and lazy.
He really makes me feel horrible for asking him to help me. Not only am I starting to believe that I am just being lazy and need to suck it up but I feel like he is annoyed by me.
I'm sure to some degree he is but I don't ask him for very much help...as an example,
Yesterday morning my one year old accidentally kicked my lower back (l4-l5, l5-s1, t11-12 bulges and spinal stenosis), so all day my pain was at a much higher level. I could not go five minutes without having to adjust myself, so I ended up staying in bed most of the day. Anyways, when he got home from work I asked him if he would help with our son; bath, dinner then put him to bed. Well, he rolled his eyes and complained the rest of the night.
Then this morning he was a total you know what and made me cry before he left for work.
I have told him before that when I ask for help its not because I dont want to do it, but that physically my body wont let me. I would love to be able to care for my son with out having tears in my eyes because I just want to give up and can't take the pain anymore.
Once again I feel hopeless and like a piece of crap. As in maybe I shouldn't ask for help and I'm a terrible mom. I know this isn't true but with the way my husband has been acting I just can't help but wonder sometimes.
I know this is hard for him, I mean we haven't slept together in months. I just physically can't do it anymore. I end up writhing in pain for several hours after.
I don't know how to handle this, any of it. I'm only 22 and feel like I should be out having fun and able.to do things for myself...not stuck inside in bed because I can't move.
I know I need to stay strong for my son. Anyone else been in a situation like this?