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Nobody Cares or Listens

dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,858
edited 08/27/2012 - 3:57 PM in Depression and Coping
This a subject that generally irritates me.

I read this so many times on the forum. I am not sure what those posters are looking for.

Are you looking for someone that will:

1` - Listen to your problems

2 - Looking to get answers

3 - Just wanted someone to be sympathetic to your situation.

Are you NOT looking for someone that will:

1 - Ignore you condition.

2 - Make light of your medication condition

3- Make fun of your condition

What are you looking for or towards another person???
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com


  • MarniMMarni Posts: 45
    edited 08/29/2012 - 3:09 PM
    I agree with anelsen15 with regards to what I want from my doctors. I want answers, and if they can't give them to me, I want them to admit that. Then we can work together to develop a plan to go forward.

    But, from other chronic pain sufferers - selfishly, I think most people want it all - especially on Forums like these. When you are feeling desperate, scared, trapped, angry and in horrible pain, you need like-minded people to listen, empathize, recommend, suggest, share, understand and mostly, not judge.

    To me, that's the beauty of this site and these forums. I can find people who don't just say they understand, they really do. I can find articles that give me the facts, but chronic pain patients know better than anyone that many of our issues are not 'text book' situations. So to hear someone else's perspective on your situation, or to hear how they handled a similar circumstance makes you feel less alone, and more hopeful.

    I want it 'all', but I also want to give it 'all' in return.
  • We are here becuase we don't know where to turn, like depression, and others only those with it can truly understand what is going on. I had ( past tense) many freinds who just had no idea, there idea of pain was a headache. I have had doctors who could not concieve of pain greater than what 2 ES Tylenol could take care of. It took me 3 years to finally get a doc to explainmy condition, why no one wanted to deal with it, and ways of dealing with it. He too sufferes from it so he understood it.
    At first 3 years ago I was scared out of my wits, In debilitating pain, no one saying anything, being refered to one doc after the other, ended up in a bad PM clinic and told over and over " you will have this pain the rest of your life and it will only get worse". I know better now. So when we post in many cases we don't really know exactly what we are looking for at least I didn't but through this site I was able to find out and it has been very valuable. Although all these new posts are a strain on you and your staff they are very valuable ( it's 11:30pm and a flare up, reading these makes it so much easier to deal with)
  • So not sure what you talking about Papa Ron...Can you post an example perhaps with out names.
    hahahah of course don't post if it's one of my many whining posts.
    I know for me in the wee hours or perhaps one of my many 2days of no sleep I tend to post the long drawn out whining times. Not proud of my bad moments.

    I think we all come here for info and most of all understanding.
    neck,bone spurs pain started 04, back issues and fusion l4,l5 06~hardware removed.
    good few yrs. 09 pain sharp, numbness feet,legs, diagnosed fibro, neurop. legs.lung issues.
    daily goal do good thing for someone.
  • That is a good question, here is what I think ..My experience with living in chronic pain is that I have lost all of my so called friends as they do not want to hear about your chronic pain and they dont even know what to do for us so they drift away, Family gets tired of hearing it if they care at all which mine doesnt ..We are scared , alone , frustrated, confused and feel helpless, some people like to be alone when they are like this and others just want somebody to say : hey its going to be ok you are not alone and someone does care ! Its a hard way to live some adjust and some dont ..Yesterday my husband took me to dinner and on the way there I had one of my little want to die fits , it was a bad day , pain levels were high and just was tired of the battle, he listened while I had my cry and told him I didnt want to live anymore and then he put his arms around me and told me that he was there for me , I think thats all most peolpe want is sympathy when no one else gives it..Thats what I think even if it doesnt matter..
  • Mary. Ron did post without a mention of names ! He refering to when post says nobody listens to me ! Were you not listening lol ?
    Now where is my bacon and eggs and cofee ? Thats what i am looking for !
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
    edited 09/18/2012 - 6:27 AM
    I had to put one last thing on here at the risk of getting chewed out, sometimes I have noticed that a lot of post get no replies or views so maybe some do feel like no one cares or listens! And the depression and coping area isnt that what its for to talk to others when you are feeling down? I know all my friends by pass me now because chronic pain is like the plague no one wants to hear it.just a thought
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