Today is the big day, I have my appointment at 2:45 with the neurosurgeon and hoping this time he will listen to me. I feel like I probably sound like a crazy person saying I actually want surgery. I am aware that it could potentially cause more problems, but I feel like its my last chance for relief. I am 36 years old and can't even contemplate the idea of ......for example......washing down my walls for fall cleaning........because I know that if I do, yeah I could push through the pain, but then I'd spend the next several days barely able to move from pain. I feel like a loser all the time because I miss out on things because I don't want to risk getting my back all fired up. For those that didn't read my other post I've suffered with this for 5 years, tried every possible alternative method, take muscle relaxers every night and can probably bleed motrin, tylenol and aleve pills. I can't take anything stronger because I am a nurse and need my brain unfogged when I work. Yeah I know not the best profession to choose when one has a bad back, but I love what I do. I switched to Home health thinking I wouldn't have as much heavy lifting, but I have this huge 20-something pound bag that I have to lug everywhere and I'm sure that is not helping the back either. Anyhow I know I am rambling now, but just hoping for some good luck with my appointment today.