Its been a while since I've been on here, kinda been through a lot in the past few weeks. After finding all of you and finaly talking to a few that really seemed to get "me". Things started to look up, but only lasted a little while. A couple weeks back I was playing with my daughter and holding her like a baby (she's 5, 95th percentile in height, weighs about 40lbs) so needless to say with my injury I should have known better. But I played and it was fun until she started slipping to my left (I was sitting down on my father in laws couch) I went to correct my arm postions and my lower half of my body slipped in the crevise of the couch and my upper half twisted to the right. My back popped again and just like that I started having bad spasams and debilitating pain. So bad in fact I was in tears and on the verge of screaming. Since that I've been trying to get an emergency apointment with my spine doc and I've been getting nothing but a run around so I've beeen taking it easy, I've had to take a bunch of time off of work, because the pain is so bad. Last week I started to feel a little bit better, and the day I actually thought I might pull through I was in a car accident. The car I was driving was a friends who was kind enough to let me borrow to pick my daughter up from school. We were t-boned (the other driver ran a stop sign) the way we were hit, it twisted up my back pretty good, and also might have torn my rotator cuff in my right shoulder.
To my point of writing this. I'm having a hard time being thankful for anything anymore. Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and my family is going up to a cabin in the mountains. I guess I'm just feeling like no matter how hard I try to get ahead something always holds me back or smacks me back down. My friends car was tottaled and they got a brand new one. But I have nothing to show for what I went through. Don't get me wrong they needed a new car but still I have nothing to show for what I went through other than more pain and suffering. I got my pay check today because the accident I had to miss almost a week of work and It was very small and put my wife in a bad spot, because now we might not be able to afford a thanksgiving dinner. All these bad things happen to me all the time and great things happen for others because of it, but nothing for me. My mother called me crying last night and told me my father lost his job and now they won't be able to have thanksgiving. What's the point of living this way. I can't get ahead, I can't move forward I'm always just stuck in a crap situation and I'm tired of it. About the only thing I can think of to be thankful for is that my daughter wasn't injured in the accident.....other than that life is really given me a shiity hand this year.
L5 s1 degeneration, annular tear and bulg with nerve compression. Dr says its normal wear and tear lol