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does everyone go through a depression phase

after my emergency surgery 6 week ago for an L4/L5 disectomy and decompression im somewhat emotionally f****d up i often find myself just cryin for no reason other than the fact that my op and being mis diagnosed for around 5 days has now caused the condition im in. Knowing that if the hospital and gp could of picked up on my floating disc but didnt saying its muscle spasm has ticked me off enough but because of this im now a 40 year old who cant control either bowel or bladder functions reduced to wearing a nappy as i cant tell when im doing or wanting to do owt had a severe bladder infection due to having a caffatah ending me back at hospital for another week, now im home again i still have little control over my right leg and total numbness from ankles down and still the same for my ass and my genitals. Life changin cant explain it well enough for me im fed up end up sobbing cos i crap and wee masen all the time and i dont know how permanant it is caudia equine syndrome iv been told lot bloody different to sciatica which was what i had been told i had since last august. Griping over i know there are lots of folk worse off than i am but it aint helping me come to terms with how thigs are right now my doctor took me off my anti depressants soon as i came outta hospital as i was on quite a few other tablets my mobility is none manage 4ft on sticks without too much pain so pretty much housebound i feel so frustrated is this normal for me to be feeling so peeed off with everything


  • William GarzaWilliam Garza TexasPosts: 2,353
    edited 04/22/2013 - 8:34 AM
    Depression is a perfectly normal reaction to what is and will happen
    what you do with it is the key.
    you may end up going through the 5 stages of grief...or not. it depends on your emotional and spiritual strength.
    when i say spirit, i mean keeping your spirit up type thing.

    try, and keep things in perspective, you will get through this, it may be a matter of time, or of sheer physical and mental exertion. I hope your fighting spirit is up and keeping you going through these rollers.
    one thing at a time, one issue at a time and you will fight this k?
    one day at a time, one problem at a time... I hope youll win this fight!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • I think everyone here can relate to your plight. Chronic pain is difficult to deal with, but no one tells you about the emotional side effects. Those can be even harder to handle.

    In my experience the depression comes and goes. Sometimes I'll be depressed for weeks, sometimes it's no more than a few hours. The best advice I can give you is don't compare yourself to others. At least for me, having people tell me "it could always be worse" was infuriating. Because yes, it could be worse, but it's already bad enough! And comparing yourself to others is difficult, because everyone handles things differently.

    I wish you the best, I hope things look up for you soon!
    23 years old, female, back problems began at age 13.

    Herniated disc at L5-S1. Microdiscectomy in '05, fusion in '07. No relief found other than the daily tramadol.

    New: neck pain with radiating tingling/pain down both arms into hands.
  • Just a few words the main 1 is thanks for your comments i can relate to each of them but as secondchanceacharm said i do still feel like my family are fed up of me complaining so i try not to and it has helped me with just griping on a forum but what has helped is iv had a response from people who know where im coming from so thanks guys ;-)
  • yeah got an appointment booked in 5 days time to see G.P so gonna ask for some happy pills i was on them for a few month before my op but never could tell if they were working as i was always fed up with the pain etc but yeah i do feel i need something to help as there are alot of days i feel like just locking myself away somewhere but cool glad your all ok with ma whining and it wasnt till i read a lot of other folks posts that i was aware of just how many people thought and feel just the way i did and do so thanks secondtimesacharm ;-)
  • Be careful taking muscle relaxers and pain meds. They might lessen the pain, but I pay for it with severe depression and crying. I feel for you and no matter what your circumstance we all share a common thread CHRONIC pain. I agree with Secondtimesacharm you can't compare yourself to others. I know how you feel about being stuck at home. I feel like I'm on house arrest and the ankle monitor (sort of speak) keeping me here is my neck pain and neck collar. I'm trying to see a positive outcome of all this but I haven't found it yet. I have rheumatoid newly diagnosed so neck problems will plague me the rest of my life no doubt. By the way this is my 2nd neck surgery in 4 years, so I understand the anger about doctors misleading and misdiagnosing too.
  • I was very upset and the slightest thing would have my crying and ready to give up ..even showering would have me feeling weak and leave me an emotional wreck .it took 6 weeks before I could shower unaided and then that was all I could do ..I was washed out .my recliner was my salvation .my wife was my full time nurse .I wondered what the hell had I don't to myself .I have already had 2 previous spinal surgeries and the fusion was my last attempt to get my life back ,,,,,so I thought ! its been 18 months of hell .as times has gone on I have got weaker my sleep is down to about an hour a night then pain wakes me {despite taking pain killers and sleeping tablets } .I spend most of the day on my recliner as I am too ill to do anything much ..if I do try to ;;;;work through the pain .....PAIN will stop me .no matter how hard I try and even if I am doing something I like ....I will have to stop ...after the 12 months of should I shouldn't I ..regarding more major surgery I finally decided to have the ALIF .in the hope that it would be the silver bullet and I could get my life back ...I WAS WRONG big time .its now around 18 months since I had the worst operation that I have ever had and I am now in pain all the time I am so tired due to sleep deprivation .I am unable to have sex due to nerve damage and no being able to move as one dose during intercourse mind you sex is the last thing on my mind !! I have no social life as I can't sit on a typical chair like you would find in a restaurant /cinema and I am unable to wear normal clothing due to nerve damage in my legs ..so I have to wear shorts and thin tee shirts { I get hot very quickly} .so I spend most of my life in my home .at 47 I thought that life would be better than this ..and now I have started with bowel problems so YES my friend being depressed is normal.i hope you see some light at the end of the tunnel .take care
    1997 laminectomy
    2007 repeat laminectomy and discectomy L4/L5
    2011 ALIF {L4/L5/S1}
    2012 ? bowel problems .still under investigation
    2014 bladder operation may 19th 2014
  • Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves.... and you are in a stage of grief, grief for a pain free life, ect. I think just knowing the depression is temporary and possibly related to meds can really help you get through it... and it will prepare you for the next wave.
    33yo mom of two. My surgical history...preadolescence scoliosis, kyphosis, and a hot mess.... 5 spine surgeries and lots of items added I wasn't born with (titanium, peek, surgical steel). Guess cremation is out. TSA loves me.
  • Ocean analogy is good. Some days are emotionally better than others. Some much worse.
    This has been a good lesson on patients for me; but I would have preferred that lesson in a different way.
    L5-S1 herniation (10mm), April 2013

    Lumbar Laminectomy May 1st 2013

    Lumbar Laminectomy April 18th 2016

  • Just want to say thank you to everyone who has commented it really does lift the heart when i read them and helps me to get a more positive attitude towards things as i find at times i start slipping back to a negative outlook on my future and helps me reflect on whats happening. I know a big part in how i feel is how everyone around me assumes that because i dont winge enough or dont have nurses coming out every other night believe that i am better so when i do say that i am in pain i must be just being a fuss pot and im trying to get out of doin something when the truth is i am in constant pain i just dont see the point in saying i am because there is nothing anyone can do i just wish they would believe that when i do actually say i cant physically do something then its simply because i cant but what i cant do is pretend or act like im like i was before all this started and that because i may be quicker on crutches than when i first had them that its not me getting better but because im just getting more used to the life i now have. But i do want to ask everyone if they can offer any advice or share info on what i am experiencing now and have been for the last 3 week is iv been getting the exact same pains in my right leg and lower part of my back as i did in my left leading up to my operation its a month away before my hospital appointment and cant get to see my doctor and wondered if this was something a lot of people experienced as it is worrying me quite a lot iv told my partner and close friends but i dont think they are really understanding how much pain im actually in all the time. Anyway just to say again a massive thanks for everyone who takes the time to say somethin i wish everyone of you all the best. Darryl
  • AllMetalAAllMetal Posts: 1,189
    edited 06/05/2013 - 3:31 PM
    I'm assuming you aren't from the USA because you say "tablets" which I find funny... so you probably think its funny when we call them pills. I don't understand health care in other countries... what I can tell you is if you were in the USA I'd give you this advice (after re-reading your first post).... call the nurse beg for an appointment ASAP and get into an INPATIENT REHAB. After my surgeries this summer I was fused down to S1. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and was transferred to an inpatient rehab hospital where there were nurses/doctors 24/7 and outstanding therapist of all kinds. I entered barely being able to walk more than about three steps with the use of a walker and had no control of my left foot. I was classified as a "Spinal Cord Injury" patient. Basically the surgery left me with nerve damage (not my surgeons fault, I knew going into the surgery that there would be nerve damage due to the nature of the revision that had to be made) When I left, I was still on a walker, still had to brace my left foot because I still didn't have control of it, but I was able to move about life. In fact, as I was leaving with my husband one of the doctors had a sit down discussion with my husband telling him that even though I was leaving with a walker and wheel chair I was NOT to be house bound. I was to be out doing EVERYTHING the family did via walker/wheel chair... and I truly believe those 3 weeks provided critical therapy I needed to eventually regain the use of my left foot and now walk normal/unassisted and carry on a pretty regular life. All of my issues were caused more or less due to the nerve damage. Along time ago scientists believed nerve cells wouldn't reproduce,etc. We now know that is not true, they will, but it takes massive amounts of time compared to say a skin cell. What I'm trying to tell you is keep hope that the nerves in your spine will heal... it will be slow... but you should see some steady improvement.

    I also understand the issues of pain/activity. It is so very frustrating to not be able to do what most everyone around me is doing. I, like you, don't like to keep saying, "I'm in pain" etc... because I don't want to be whiny. One thing I did do was I eventually shared my x-ray picture (like the one on here) with my friends and family. Sure, it's easy to post it on here and talk about pain on this forum... but pain is a DEEPLY personal issue. It was very hard for me to show people the x-ray. but you know what? It was a good decision because my friends/family/coworkers immediately began to help me in small ways... like when parking lots are crowded they will swing by the front to drop me off without me having to ask (and I realize you aren't there yet, but I'm just saying).... I have found it much easier emotionally for me to deal with my issues because I shared the image... I do realize that I have on hell of an x-ray that most spine patients don't... but that doesn't mean you don't share the same, if not worse pain and other issues. I suggest you trying to be as up front as possible about your experiences with your friends and relatives. Try to focus those conversations on the "emergency surgery" necessary because of the extensive damage you had. Encourage them to look up CES. From there they can conclude the pain you are going through without you having to whine about it.

    Through all of my spine issues I truly believe that what has gotten me through everything from healing, to grieving the activities I can no longer do... I have come through those things because of my faith (and I know we can't "discuss" that on this forum, but I assume its ok to say I have one) and a positive attitude. A positive attitude goes such a long way....People (friends, family, therapist, nurses, doctors) all respond differently to someone with a positive attitude (and if you can add in a little humor you are golden). I truly am sorry you are going through all of this. Just hang in there....
    33yo mom of two. My surgical history...preadolescence scoliosis, kyphosis, and a hot mess.... 5 spine surgeries and lots of items added I wasn't born with (titanium, peek, surgical steel). Guess cremation is out. TSA loves me.
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