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Husband is no longer interested in SEX after Spinal Surgery

My husband had neck surgery about 8 years ago and since that time he no longer is interested in having sex with me.. We actually went from having sex 5 or more times a week to 2 times a year and the attempts are not great.. He has tried Viagra only at my insistence and still no desire... He doesn't even pretend to want to have sex and shows no concern as if it is no big deal.. He has totally tried to make me gain weight and encourages me to continue to get bigger and bigger as if to say since he is no longer interested in me and he wants to make sure no one else is either.. He is constantly trying to find ways to keep me from going out of the house. He doesn't want me around others especially if there are going to be other males around. I am a very young 45 year old who has raised her kids and was now looking forward to being able to experience more sexual freedom with my husband.. however, he now has taken a job so that he can stay out of town during the week and when he comes home he sleeps in another room.. he blames this on me and says he can't sleep with me for various reasons however, I think he is either afraid to sleep with me because I MIGHT want to have sex or because he just doesn't want to be reminded he can't or doesn't want to have sex...
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  • LizLiz Posts: 7,332
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  • survivor8484survivor8484 Posts: 9
    edited 06/18/2013 - 11:13 PM
    Turnthepage said:
    My husband had neck surgery about 8 years ago and since that time he no longer is interested in having sex with me.. We actually went from having sex 5 or more times a week to 2 times a year and the attempts are not great.. He has tried Viagra only at my insistence and still no desire... He doesn't even pretend to want to have sex and shows no concern as if it is no big deal.. He has totally tried to make me gain weight and encourages me to continue to get bigger and bigger as if to say since he is no longer interested in me and he wants to make sure no one else is either.. He is constantly trying to find ways to keep me from going out of the house. He doesn't want me around others especially if there are going to be other males around. I am a very young 45 year old who has raised her kids and was now looking forward to being able to experience more sexual freedom with my husband.. however, he now has taken a job so that he can stay out of town during the week and when he comes home he sleeps in another room.. he blames this on me and says he can't sleep with me for various reasons however, I think he is either afraid to sleep with me because I MIGHT want to have sex or because he just doesn't want to be reminded he can't or doesn't want to have sex...

    We should talk...your descriptions describe a whole different scenerio as being more likely.
    Laura
  • Hi
    Have you had his testosterone levels checked
    90 % of men with spinal cord issues may have low testosterone count.
    Just a idea
    Rick.
  • Turnthepage said:
    My husband had neck surgery about 8 years ago and since that time he no longer is interested in having sex with me.. We actually went from having sex 5 or more times a week to 2 times a year and the attempts are not great.. He has tried Viagra only at my insistence and still no desire... He doesn't even pretend to want to have sex and shows no concern as if it is no big deal.. He has totally tried to make me gain weight and encourages me to continue to get bigger and bigger as if to say since he is no
    longer interested in me and he wants to make sure no one else is either.. He is constantly trying to find ways to keep me from going out of the house. He doesn't want me around others especially if there are going to be other males around. I am a very young 45 year old who has raised her kids and was now looking forward to being able to experience more sexual freedom with my husband.. however, he now has taken a job so that he can stay out of town during the week and when he comes home he sleeps in another room.. he blames this on me and says he can't sleep with me for various reasons however, I think he is either afraid to sleep with me because I MIGHT want to have sex or because he just doesn't want to be reminded he can't or doesn't want to have sex...
    . I think it is usual that he will not have interest in sex , u should discuss with him..

  • Hi I do feel sorry for you , and how hard you must be finding it to understanding whats gone wrong. I was 33 when I had my first two surgerys, and then went on to have a third they were all on my neck that was in 2007. I have not had sex since i am not mad not ugly, just things change I got deppressed did not feel sexy any more all different things really. I dont know whats going on in your husbands head but you really need to speak to him. I had seperated from my husband some time before so I could feel the way I do and not have to answer to any one. Hope you can sort it out.
  • davidhenderson311davidhenderson311 Posts: 11
    edited 06/21/2013 - 11:55 AM
    After my neck surgery I got depressed and started taking Prozac. Prozac is a sexual drive killer.
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