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Hi, my name is Betty, and have been dealing with chronic pain for the past 22 yrs. I'm home recuperating from my 3rd fusion, however this one was a surprise . . One morning I was awaken with horrible pins and needles in both thighs, and in just a few weeks the feeling to (R) leg was gone, and was starting in my (L) leg. By the time the two MRI's were completed I was unable to lift both legs, and needless to say, emergency surgery had to be done fusing T11-T12. I came across this site today, and it may help to read others problems , and may be get insight to what others are doing to be able to function in daily life. No one understands what I go through. The relationship with my son is strained, because his wife thinks I'm a total bitch, as well as her family. They don't get it through their heads that I have good and bad days. My son and now wife had a destination wedding, two months post op of second surgery. Never met me at airport, with me taking suitcases off carousal , so by the time I got to the hotel in Cancun, I could barely walk. Let's just say, it was the trip from hell. There was no compassion, no care, and the indifference of these people made me sick. Chronic pain destroys everything, people think I have no tolerance, or I don't know how to deal with pain. That's no surprise there, since I look healthy, and only go out when I feel human. I spend 95% in my house. Yes! I have thought.of ending it all, because enough is enough. I went from being a very active and fun person, to a dull person, who doesn't do much. Well today I'm praying that I get through this latest surgery, since I still get pins and needles, however strength has definitely coming back, so hurrah.
Clara B. Goede


  • KarenDKKarenD Posts: 742
    edited 06/26/2013 - 3:14 PM
    I am sorry that you are not getting the support you need so much. It is good that you have found this site. If you feel suicidal at any point, please get help. It' so tough because pain can cause depression and it's a vicious circle. I have felt as you do about having an invisible disability. People make assumptions and can be cruel because you don't fit what they see. It's good that you can still find a positive about your recovery, and I hope you continue to improve.
    4 level ACDF C4-C7 5-2-11, laminectomy & discectomy L4-L5 1/26/12, ALIF L4-5, L5-S1 12/10/12.
  • Thank you Karen
    Clara B. Goede
  • RangerRRanger on da rangePosts: 805
    Hey ms Betty,
    Many of us here can say we know how you feel and it's the honest truth. A lot of people just don't get it and probably never will.
    But you can still be an active fun person, you just have to "adjust" so to speak. Don't let others get you down, be your own advocate, you will find a lot of good support on this site.
    Stay in touch, you will be glad you did.
  • Thank you Ranger.
    Clara B. Goede
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  • terror8396tterror8396 Posts: 1,832
    edited 06/27/2013 - 4:21 AM
    the honest truth is that people don't want to hear our physical problems. my family is pretty understanding but for the most part, they don't want to hear it. same with my job. my principal and fellow teachers could care less and i have had to stop when going to a meeting and the teachers walk by me without saying what is wrong. they feel if you are in pain, then retire. what is really bad is if one continuously talks and reminds others of our pain. then it becomes irritable to them. this is the truth so what i would recommend is that complain less and get on with your life and get used to accepting that you will have chronic pain the rest of your life. the more you complain or talk to others, the more you will be ignored and people will view you as bothersome. it goes with chronic pain, cancer, etc. after a while people don't want to hear because it reminds them of what could happen to them. i work with a guy that has chronic pain in his neck and he gets the same treatment from others. so he does not complain or talk to others either. we just commiserate with ourselves and ignore others.
    I have 4 fusions from L5-3, the latest last May '12 where they fixed my disc that broke.They went through my side this time. I take 40 mg of oxycontin 4x a day and 4 fenatyl lollipops 300 micro gms 4x a day.
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