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How many of you have had issues forgiving someone else who caused your injury that led to a spine surgery and other related issues?
I was climbing with a colleague of mine who just messed up and dropped me 20 feet. I broke my back then.- L1 Burst fracture followed my spinal fusion.
I have not been the same after that accident. Its going to be a year next month for that incident.
I cannot bring myself to forgive her. My blood just kind of boils if I even see her or hear her voice.

Please let me know how you have coped with feelings like this towards a person who caused your injury that changed your life.


  • but for you. To bring you the peace to accept what is and to let go of the anger and resentments that not being able to forgive brings into your life. Holding onto anger and resentment poisons you, and how you view the world, your relationships, and how you live your life each day. It impacts every crevice of your life, and damages even the most secure relationships if you allow it to. Letting go and finding acceptance , that you are where you are supposed to be, right this second, helps you to reach a place of peace and honesty in your own life, and frees you both from letting what I'm pretty sure was a horrible accident from destroying and changing any more of your lives.
    I can't imagine how difficult it is for both of you, for your friend , feeling responsible and guilty for your fall, and for not being able to hold you,and most probably not feeling like she can face you, knowing how you were injured. Not an uncommon dynamic when someone you are friends with or love is injured and you hold part of the responsibility, whether a car accident, or other accident, and for you, having to learn to live with this injury, and the resulting changes that it has brought to your life.
    You are one year out from this fusion surgery, and accident, and I can promise you that even years from now, you will find that your body is still making adjustments to this incident, and there will be improvement as time passes.
    I think that it is normal to want to blame someone for the changes that you have endured, and in part, I'm sure that your friend also feels tremendous amounts of guilt and isn't sure how to handle it, anymore than you are.
    It might help you to write her a letter, releasing all of the anger, hurt, frustrations, and not mailing it.......in fact, each time you feel anger toward her, continue to add it to the letter, and let it go....then when you feel that you have said all of the things that you want to say to her, burn it.......with the smoke and the ash from the burning of the letter, tell yourself that you are freeing both of you from carrying it around with you for the rest of your life.
  • This must be very hard for both of you. I have to agree with Sandi, though I'm sure its hard to hear and even harder to do. No one was at fault with my issues, if someone was.... I'm not sure I could just forgive either honestly, but I'd like to think that at some point I could and move past it. Have you spoke to a pastor or therapist? Best of luck to you. I hope your physical life continues to improve.
    33yo mom of two. My surgical history...preadolescence scoliosis, kyphosis, and a hot mess.... 5 spine surgeries and lots of items added I wasn't born with (titanium, peek, surgical steel). Guess cremation is out. TSA loves me.
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