Just having another one of those nights where everything is bad, pain day in a day out it never ends I take some joy in reading your helpful posts and it seems like for the older members you have this thing beat and are the strongest people I have ever seen, I don't know how you get to that positive time throughout this thing when all I see is blackness my mood just seem to get worse and worse and nobody will listen to me that's where this wonderful site has been a huge part of my life just to be able to read someone`s positive takes on life, makes me wish and long for that day to come.
I live in a home where it seems that I am reminded everyday that the stuff that I loved to do the stuff that made me, me is no longer feasible I no longer want to see anyone and I am told that I need an anchor to keep me going all I want to do is throw that anchor overboard I am exhausted. I have a fiancé and my pup that are my things that keep me going and even for them I have to put on the face that I am alright but really I am breaking inside I am researching assisted suicide and nobody knows it, how do you guys do this?
I am tired of people telling me its going to take a long time to see any improvements, or that it is a slow process, or that you have to keep a positive attitude how do you get positive when your in hell.
I know I rambled for a bit when this was supposed to be a thank-you post, I look up to you people that have this thing controlled and don't let it take you over, I don't know how you do it, and again I applaud you.
"I hope tomorrow is a better day, and I wish you all the best"