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This site has been a huge help you people are so strong

Just having another one of those nights where everything is bad, pain day in a day out it never ends I take some joy in reading your helpful posts and it seems like for the older members you have this thing beat and are the strongest people I have ever seen, I don't know how you get to that positive time throughout this thing when all I see is blackness my mood just seem to get worse and worse and nobody will listen to me that's where this wonderful site has been a huge part of my life just to be able to read someone`s positive takes on life, makes me wish and long for that day to come.

I live in a home where it seems that I am reminded everyday that the stuff that I loved to do the stuff that made me, me is no longer feasible I no longer want to see anyone and I am told that I need an anchor to keep me going all I want to do is throw that anchor overboard I am exhausted. I have a fiancé and my pup that are my things that keep me going and even for them I have to put on the face that I am alright but really I am breaking inside I am researching assisted suicide and nobody knows it, how do you guys do this?

I am tired of people telling me its going to take a long time to see any improvements, or that it is a slow process, or that you have to keep a positive attitude how do you get positive when your in hell.

I know I rambled for a bit when this was supposed to be a thank-you post, I look up to you people that have this thing controlled and don't let it take you over, I don't know how you do it, and again I applaud you.

"I hope tomorrow is a better day, and I wish you all the best"


  • backbreakerbbackbreaker Posts: 1
    edited 07/03/2013 - 5:58 PM
    it is always hardest to ask 4 help and even harder to share about your pain so u r over the hump and better days to come god bless and dont quit......
  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364
    Thanks for the positive comments - there are a number of people here that are honored to be part of this community.

    From another "resource" .... We live life on lifes terms ... not ours.

    Today was/is (yesterday) a "weather" day where many of us are effected badly due to the weather in addition to our "normal"

    I only I had a magic wand - I would wave it over all of us and make our pain and problems go away - alas I don't.

    Warm Regards,

    Spine-health Moderator
    Welcome to Spine-Health  Please read the linked guidelines!!

  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    Are youg getting proper pain relief from your meds? If not maybe it is time to sit down with your doctor and tell him exactly what you have told us. My new life is nothing like my old life but without the help of my Dr and the correct meds I am able to work and socialize occasionally.Please see someone for how you are feeling
  • thoracic spine painthoracic spine pain Posts: 566
    edited 07/03/2013 - 10:25 PM
    I have been in agonising pain for over 7 probably closer to 8 years and at times have felt like calling a taxi and jumping off a bridge. You can't do it.

    You really need to get the pain under control. Have you combined muscle relaxants with your medications - that worked better for me. You also need to tell someone how bad you are and be really honest, I know it's hard but you need some help and someone to talk to who understands. There is a site called living works on the net. Please have a look. Can you tell us what kind of pain you have and someone here might be able to help you, They have probably coped with the same pain. I know pain totally sucks and no-one who has not been in this constant pain can understand. You can't do it alone and there is heaps of support here. It's very therapeautic to blog and writing it down seems to help.

    If you are seriously considering suicide you must talk to someone. There are help lines in Australia, there must be some in the States. You need to have someone with you. Everyone goes through this stage when it just gets too much. I looked at another post and someone said Kratom helps , it's illegal in Australia but may give you some relief - I read the Forbes article and people swear by it for pain relief. You need to be at least comfortable, even if you can't do as much - you do have to except it and not gung ho through it which made it heaps worse for me.

    Twisting, lifting, driving etc make my pain levels go through the roof - so take it easy and try not to aggravate it - it is your central nervous system so that is why it hurts so much. Also if you have to stay in bed there's lots of free games on the web which are pretty addictive and take you mind off the pain. Heat packs normally help. There is also a Facebook page for young people with back pain which is very inspiring and up there.

    Please hang in there. After 7 years I have finally found something that has eased my pain, everyone was looking in the wrong place. Someone will work it out - you have to do your own research with this stuff so talk to as many people on this site as you can. You can PM me anytime. I'm in Australia so the times are different but I'm happy to give you some support if you need it.

    Hope your pain has eased a bit today - it is exhausting and I used to try to cover. Just tell people your central nervous system is damaged because that is what it is and they seem to understand a bit better. Also read the intractable pain manual on this site. It is really worth a read. Please don't do anything crazy - it wrecks the lives of all those around you for a long time, that kept me going as I had a friend who suicided and the impact on her family and friends is the reason I would not consider it an option.

    Try and get enough medication to make the pain bearable and don't be so hard on yourself. My story is buried on this site somewhere under my name if you do a search. Hang in there please for everyones sake. Your fiance would be devastated and so would your puppy. Well guess your puppy wouldn't be as devastated as your fiance. (sorry just joking). Please PM me if you need to.

  • I don't know who you consider to be the oldies here, but we didn't get to be optimistic or positive at first, for many of us, it was a struggle, and at times, we had to hold on to the only things in our lives that mattered to us, our pets, our families and loved ones, or whatever it was that kept us going for another second, another minute and then finally another day.
    It sounds like your pain isn't being managed very well, and you are struggling- I think that all of us can understand that part of the journey and the feeling of nothing seeming to stop the wave of loss that seems never ending...
    If you could tell us what it is that you are struggling with, we might be able to help . If you are feeling suicidal, then there are many resources to contact to get you some help. http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html
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