Welcome, Friend!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Veritas-Health LLC has recently released patient forums to our Arthritis-Health web site.

Please visit http://www.arthritis-health.com/forum

There are several patient story videos on Spine-Health that talk about Arthritis. Search on Patient stories
Protect anonymity
We strongly suggest that members do not include their email addresses. Once that is published , your email address is available to anyone on the internet , including hackers.

All discussions and comments that contain an external URL will be automatically moved to the spam queue. No external URL pointing to a medical web site is permitted. Forum rules also indicate that you need prior moderator approval. If you are going to post an external URL, contact one of the moderators to get their approval.
Attention New Members
Your initial discussion or comment automatically is sent to a moderator's approval queue before it can be published.
There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.
This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test


I'm 23 and the past few years have been dealing with chronic pain, I've got three wonderful kids who are 6, 4 and 10 months. Here recently, I've been very depressed, horrible mood swings and just flat out in a bad mood. I try to stay positive, especially since they are always around.

How do you explain to your children you hurting so bad you can't walk them to the park?
Or force a smile when they try and climb on you?

I just don't know what to do, I feel like I'm no good to my kids, I feel like a failure as a parent because I'm to able to do things with them that I got to do as a kid.

Me and my daughters dad are still together, he doesn't understand what my bad mood is about and I try, I really do to stay positive and not let the pain effect my mood but sometimes it's down right hard. I don't feel like doing anything, especially intimate and its affecting our relationship and has been for a year..

What do I do?


  • First, you need to have your doctor refer you to a pain management clinic...or maybe bet to the bottom of your pain and get treatment. You did not mention if you were on anti depressants, but trying one of them couldn't hurt. My sister is on Wellbutrin and it makes a world of difference for her.

    Also consider alternative therapy such as hypnosis, a change in your diet, juicing, etc. I had a friend who did a 100% juice fast for a short while and the intense amount of natural vitamins changed her life!! Don't give up trying....you are too young!!

    I grew up with a mom who had depression and bouts of staying in the dark basement rec room, only to emerge to go to bed. She would not go to my school functions, did not help me with homework, never took me to parks, etc. I was lucky to have older siblings and my live in grandma, but I noticed.

    Just thank your husband from the bottom of your heart for his support and promise him you will spend the rest of this year trying to correct or improve your situation. Hugs from Cali. Pam
    CA Wife and Mom, 55, L5-S1 Microdiscectomy on 7/12/13
  • tomekttomek Posts: 21
    edited 07/26/2013 - 12:15 PM

    I have no family, kids or partner but having had back problems for a while I can truly understand what you are going through. I don't know which is better because when I was so down the only thing I thought about was death I had absolutely no one to even slap me in the face. First of all, your partner will probably never understand what you are going through. I cried so many times in front of my mum, friends trying to explain how miserable my life was and you never get what you expect.

    The fact you are looking for help is amazing itself! You must be a wonderful mother! It is very hard to explain many things to children and do not feel bad about it. They will grow up and one day they will understand. You are doing everything you can to deal with the situation and you are trying to stay positive which is incredible. You should have seen me when I was really bad. I was so horrible to people and I knew it wasn't usual me.

    I went through depression twice in my life and I mean REAL depression. Last time I had it I had to take time off work because I could not possibly stand in front of my students and teach them anything. I went to see a doctor and was prescribed sertraline. It is a very mild anti-depressant which saved my life. The problem with depression is that it is a vicious circle. You feel down and then you blame yourself for a lot of things which makes you feel even worse. Some medication can stop those negative thoughts and seriously... I would go and see a doctor about it. I don't know where you live but my doctor in London was really understanding and saw straight away that I wasn't well and needed help. People are so afraid to admit they are depressed but I remember what my osteopath once said when I told him I was getting depressed because of the chronic pain 'Why wouldn't you be?'. Chronic pain is something that would make anyone depressed and of course we should try to get rid of the cause of the pain but you also have to look after your mental health.

    I really do hope you will get better soon! You are still so young and there are so many wonderful moments of your life waiting for you there! Don't give up and try to explain to your partner you really need support from him now. That's what relationships should be about!

    Lots of love! x
  • Thank you all so much for your comments. I am waiting nervously to hear back from my specialist abou my back and the possibility of surgery. I haven't seen my primary doctor yet, as I am trying to find a good one. Thank you, tome for your kind words and understanding.
Sign In or Register to comment.