By now, anyone who has been a member for Spine-Health for over a couple of months I am confident they came across a few threads where it seemed like some members were going after other members and nothing short but a barroom brawl would start.
This happens on any online site, and many get real bad and nasty. But what makes it more difficult here, is that this is a community consisting of people who are in pain for one reason or another. When you have pain, your tolerance levels will be a lot lower than normal.
Many times there are conflicts between new members and older members. From the sidelines, I can see that both parties are not seeing things eye to eye. The new folks are looking for help and when someone comes down heavy on them, they retreat or worse attack. Then when an older member sees someone who is doing something really wrong, they point it out, perhaps too blunt, but none the less the truth.
I dont like calling our member names in public posts, but I think I need to for this thread. Terror8396(jon) has been a focus of many discussions. I've known Jon for a number of years now and I know he is a black and white person, says what needs to be said and is not worried about upsetting the cart. I appreciate that candid behavior, but Jon himself will tell you that at times I have needed to tell him to tone it down a bit. I think only when you have been here a while and seen so many come and go and have personally been through hell and back, it makes a difference. Jon, like myself is no stranger to Chronic pain. We've seen the good and we've seen the bad that comes along with it. Jon warns tells people about drug seekers, not paying attention to their doctor, etc. He says it in a way that might get the back of your neck hairs rising a bit. But honestly, I say those same things. Difference is that in my position, I need to temper my tone... But then again, even outside of this arena, I have a different style, but the message is the same.
Then as new people, the last thing we want to hear is being lectured, or being made to feel like we are addicts or worse.
Thats when resentment starts to sink in, And that is only natural, I can not fault anyone for feeling that way.
But lets try to live together in an easier way. Take each person's comments as for what they are, information and not personal attacks. But if you feel it is a personal attack, then I am telling you to take it offline, private message between members or to us. I will respect anyone doing it that way.
But when people start to use the public forums as a means of attacking another person, that is where I need to draw the line.
There really isnt much difference among us. Some have been just dealing with it longer. But it doesn't matter if its lumbar, cervical, thoracic, if we are black or white, come from an Asian country, whatever,
Pain does not discriminate..... I am just asking all of us to do the same when we deal with other member.
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences