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The Hardest

What has been your hardest

Physical thing
Emotional thing
you have had to do since you first had spinal problems?

Many times, its the emotional ones that are much harder.
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com


  • AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,670
    edited 10/19/2013 - 6:39 AM
    physical and emotional. My little boy(just 4yo) was running shortly after my accident and before my surgery. He fell and scaped his knee, then came running to me crying to pick him up, hug him and make it better. I couldn't pick him up, it broke my heart. I sat down on the ground in the middle of a pedestrian area and let him crawl into my lap until he stopped crying. I felt like a failure as a mother. I haven't been able to pick him up since - now he is too heavy. But he still crawls in my lap while I am sitting.
  • Never doubt yourself, as a mother and a shining example of humanity. some day soon he will understand fully and completely what it is to be a good person, your example will lead him to understand others in ways that will defy his age.
    everything you do and say will set him on the path to greatness, Love like a mamas outshines the sun, moon and stars in a little guys eyes.
    dont worry on what you cant do
    its just another thing..
    worry instead, on what you can
    Love, Laugh, give, Take, wonder at the glory of life
    know when to be still, and so will he
    learn when to move, and the world will move with you

    your infirm, not broken
    you slower, better to see the world around you
    your hurt, but never beaten
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • You have a beautiful spirit, it shines through in your writings. You are definitely what is right with this world!
  • Being a patient patient. Thats the hardedt thing for me

    Cervical fusion C5-6, then 10 months later total hip replacement followed by three months of pneumonia, the 2 months " off", then major spine surgery, all within approx. 18 months with NO PAIN MEDS.

    EMOTIONAL for me, I am tired of RECOVERING from surgery and mwybe having kidney surgery in November.
    That would make four major surgeries within 2 years.


    Hugs and hershey kisses to all,
  • Helen3Helen3 Posts: 205
    edited 10/19/2013 - 1:02 PM
    About it..accepting these problems...nit sure I still have. Adjusting to everything I've lost. Grieving for what I can't do. Making myself look at reality ...

    And now trying to fully understand how I can help myself.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,877
    That must have been one of the hardest things to do as a Mom. Your instinct want to help and protect your children, so when they come crying to you, you want to sweep them into your arms.

    Problem, is for many of us, that is not always possible. But for you to even think about that, I would say that you are above and beyond what it comes to be a parent. You are a Mommy and I dont know many stronger people that walk this earth.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Wow Ron, dont know what happened but as soon as I read your post the tears started flooding and still wont stop. Not sure what that is all about. Suppressed feelings I guess!!!! Has been very difficult since 2 spine surgeries back to back in 2008. Last 2 yrs have been so hard on me. Some days I want to give up but look at family and keep suffering in silence. Have been seeing therapist for over a yr. And seem to talk about everything but what really bithers me. Struggling with problems in marriage, not working and contributing financially, body issues.....but what is all time worse for me is.....

    My grandson who is 3 1/2 and has never known his grammy as anything but in pain. When he was very small i would babysit and loved to just sit and hold him and watch him sleep. He woke from a bad dream one night and was holding his arms out for me to lift him and I couldnt. I pulled the rocking chair around and he crawled into my lap. He has never known different but knows grammy is different because he will hold out his arms to everyone now except me. He waits for me to sit. I know it probably makes no difference to him but it breaks my heart. His first trip to beach in April for our birthfays which are one day apart, i had to look at his pictures of him first seeing the ocean. I couldnt be out there with him. Couldnt do much since just had knee surgery 2 months before. It absolutely breaks my heart when my daughter takes him to presvhool ecery morning because grammy cant keep him. My mama kept all her grandkids from birth until they went to school and his grammy cant. Just trying to type that made tears start to pour. I cant write anymore. Just too hard :(

  • I understand your breaking heart. I always feel I would be a much better mother if I didn't have this pain. I am forever telling my son, "you know mommy loves you, I am just grumpy because I don't feel good". There are a lot of things I would do with him if I did not want to rest all the time, movies, bowling, beach etc. I try to make the best of my good days. He seems resilient, but emotionally I am a wreck.
  • stenosisRosesstenosisRose Posts: 489
    edited 10/20/2013 - 7:19 PM
    WE owe the deepest thanks and gratitude to the Mothers of this world

    Necksoup, you are a loving inspiration to us all.

    Thanks for being a terrific loving Mother

    God bless
  • kamgramkkamgram Posts: 483
    edited 10/21/2013 - 4:16 PM
    After my post last night I was a mess :) This morning my daughter called me on her way to work and sai that Kamden, my grandbaby, whined all the way to preschool and wanted to just go back home and play with grammy and the Playdoh. I bought a kit Sat. And we played fot hours this weekend. Something easy on my back and knee and new to him :) Oh what a difference one day can make :) <3

  • I agree with stenosis rose that the hardest thing is to be a patient patient. I am an athlete and all this back stuff definitely put a crimp in my style. I have had 6 back surgeries in 9 years. I am fused from L1 to S1 and also my SI joints. All from being knocked unconscious by a snowboarder. I teach skiing for a living and felt that my life had been taken away from me. I did take a couple of years off and was able to return. I certainly don't ski at the level I once did but I can still teach (kids) which I truly love. I get my 40 year pin this year and will continue to teach as long as my spine allows it.

    It isn't just the skiing, everything is different. I was a very competitive athlete and had been all my life. I ran and swim competitively when I was in grade school and then added cycling. Eventually it led to triathlons and I qualified for the Ironman Triathlon World Championships on a dare from my friends and went on to place 2nd in my age group at the world championships. Now I can't even run. I will be able to walk as soon as my 2nd SI fusions heals. and ride my bike I hope. My job and my sports were my life and I fell I lost a big part of my identity.

    L4/L5 laminectomy, L4/L5 360 fusion with instrumentation, L1 to L5 fusion, L5/S1 fusion w/ disc replacement, left and right SI joints fused.
  • edited 11/01/2013 - 8:15 AM
    I had fusion surgery in July 2012, low back, anticipated returning to work in October 2012. Didn't happen. Surgery made my chronic pain worse. Lost my job and my professional identity as a result. Am scheduled for a "revision" surgery in November 2012, but am now 60, so I anticipate it will be difficult to find work after I recover. That's been the hardest emotional thing for me. The hardest physical thing has been "pretending" not to be in pain when with friends and family. It is difficult for them to understand because there is nothing to see (as with a broken bone's cast, brace, etc.) and because it has gone on for over 7 years now.
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    The emotional and physical all lump together into one for me. While my mother was passing away she needed lift assist to the restroom and only wanted my help. God did I try and accomplished the goal but i was only 8 weeks post op from lumbar fusion when she passed away. The physical and emotional aspect of it all just came a hair short of a nervous breakdown/
  • Before I answer that question I am wondering how you are doing? The last time I read 1of your posts you were going to be out for awhile. Did everything go well? I can relate well with emotions like kamgram. But thank God for PaPa's since I can't pick up my 4year old peanut when she wants to be cuddled but PaPa helps with that. Most of us gramma's want to do since our grand kids seem to the lights of our life's. Physically it's not being able to bend way far into can and feed my dogs, bend down and get my heavy pans out from underneath the cabinet, just doing the everyday things that are now difficult . Physical therapy is the biggest hurdle since I think he's trying to stretch muscles that haven't been used for years. Thank goodness I have a great neck ice pack and medication. I really think he's trying to kill me. Driving I have a big mirror and I stay in right lane as much as possible. It's working out, I have I think more ROM then I expected . Emotionally. - financial burden and being more dependent on someone. I hate this but maybe will get better except every Jan I eat up my 2500 deductible within the first week and that's on me. So here's what I do I take a long hot shower and have a melt down all alone and generally when I come out I feel better and no one knows.
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