Im not sure what to do anymore. Background: my wife has legit back/spine problems. Without getting into too much detail, she has some numbness in various areas of her lower body, pain all the time, and a condition that neurosurgeons have argued about giving surgery to (ultimately deciding that its too risky for her age, and that she should deal with the pain as long as she possibly can before resorting to it). She's in her 30's. She has been prescribed 12 a day (max dose) 10/325 norco, 2 soma per day, and 4 or 5 oxy 5mg per day. In the past she has tried time released stuff (Ms contin/morphine) that left her with urinary retention (and a 3-day hospital visit that was very scary). She thinks that the break in between doses gives her body a break and allows her to urinate more freely.
Here is the problem. She often runs out of her medications around the two week mark. Maybe 16-18 days. That means she is taking heavy amounts of her medications when she first gets them, then goes through the cycle of running out and "detoxing" or "withdrawling", or whatever you want to call it. She is obviously taking large amounts of Acetaminophen, maybe 5000-6000 a day sometimes, which seems to be the most dangerous part of the equation to me. Soma could be around 4-5 a day, and I have seen her very much uncoordinated and slurring her words. We have been fighting about this stuff for years, and i have considered leaving as I am suffering with severe anxiety that I relate much of this to. We fight about this stuff often, and when she runs out, she gets depressed and will often take Kratom to fend off the withdrawal symptoms.
I come to you as people with pain asking what to do. She often says things like "I would rather live a shorter life and get to do the things I want to do/be out of pain, then live a long life in pain." And I get that. But at the same time, i know there is a better way to be dealing with the issue of medications. From my perspective, I don't think she will ever be able to administer her pain meds in a responsible way to herself. When she has them, she takes them.
Any advice on what to do would be appreciated. I have threatened to tell her doctor, and she gets furious and says if I do that they will never give her pain meds again...and I would basically ruin her life. I have tried to go to the appointments, but she wont let me. I have suggested therapy, but she hasnt gone even when she has promised she would. I have considered going to her parents and laying it all out there intervention style, but haven't. I am afraid she is going to die....overdose, or get liver damage or something. I am sorry that this post is so similar to the other one, but i needed some place to get this out. Any advice on support services for myself would be welcome as well. Thanks