Welcome, Friend!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Veritas-Health LLC has recently released patient forums to our Arthritis-Health web site.

Please visit http://www.arthritis-health.com/forum

There are several patient story videos on Spine-Health that talk about Arthritis. Search on Patient stories
Protect anonymity
We strongly suggest that members do not include their email addresses. Once that is published , your email address is available to anyone on the internet , including hackers.

All discussions and comments that contain an external URL will be automatically moved to the spam queue. No external URL pointing to a medical web site is permitted. Forum rules also indicate that you need prior moderator approval. If you are going to post an external URL, contact one of the moderators to get their approval.
Attention New Members
Your initial discussion or comment automatically is sent to a moderator's approval queue before it can be published.
There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.
This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test

Our Intimate lives

dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,842
edited 01/17/2014 - 5:52 PM in Depression and Coping
This is a topic that we all know inside comes up but we dont always want to talk about it.

I am not going to talk about anyone else or what it could be, instead I will tell you about myself.
The chronic pain has definitely lowered my sexual desires. Emotional, I think about it and think there should not be any problem, but in reality there is. Physical, am I capable? Yes, I believe so, but........
Now add all the medications I am taking on a daily basis. There is probably enough there to make anyone feel like a holy person that demands celibacy.
Put it all together and it really doesnt come out with a state of intimacy for my wife. Not because I dont care or love my wife.
So, instead, we hug, hold each other, sit on a couch just touching each others hand. That shows tons of love foe one another.

I love my wife and I am saddened that right now I can not be the man that society thinks I should be. I can only be who I am .but that never stops me from loving my wife in every way I can. I only wish I could do more. I may be the one dealing with chronic pain, but a day doesnt go bye that I dont understand and realize that her sacrifices are much more than my own.

I know there are men and women members who understand what I am saying and are also dealing with the impact it has our their lives. We cant fix each other, but it does help to talk about it. So please don't be afraid or embarrassed to post here and talk about your intimate live.
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com


  • I have discovered as well that the longer I'm on pain meds and muscle relaxers that I cannot be like I used to be. The medication has zapped my testosterone level and just the very act of intimacy causes me significant pain. How in the world can a person be expected to "have fun" when you really want to curl up in the fetal position due to the pain it's causing. My wife is VERY understanding about it (thank God). It's all just really frustrating.
    Several Epidurals, L4-S1 360 ALIF, Numerous Facet Joint Injections, RFA x2
  • I was thinking about starting this topic too.

    For the past five years, my intimate life has been a lot less than it used to be (I got hurt in 2009). We went from regular intimacy to only five or six times a year, and now it's been one or two for the past two years, because my back can't take it.

    I want someone to talk to about this, but my surgeon didn't seem like the right person, and my physical therapist was out in the open so I didn't want to talk about it there either. Pain management? I think he's just there for the injection. I don't feel comfortable talking about it with my psychiatrist, and I don't think he would be helpful anyway. That's not what he's there for.

    I am like you, dilauro. We do a lot of non-sexual intimacy and we are very happily married. But my back pain factors into EVERYTHING and has greatly slowed down full intimacy. I'm very fortunate to have someone as devoted as my husband. He's a wonderful partner while going through all of this, just as he was before my injury.
    (see profile for medical details)

    I *heart* my TENS unit.
  • EMS...maybe they'll come out with a muscle relaxer that relaxes everything EXCEPT for THAT "muscle"

    I'm okay in the performance department, but I think that 13 years of opiates has maybe just re-wired my brain a little...it's definitely not like going at it like rabbits when you're 20. I'm okay with not actually "doing it" as often, but thank goodness that the love and caring is still going strong. My wife is very understanding and is okay with where we're at-thankfully!

    when I started with a new pm doctor last August, they tested my testosterone level, and it was at an acceptable level
Sign In or Register to comment.